The Cost of Being Single (not single mums, proper single)

lostinrates

lemonjelly wrote: »

I think the issue that some people who are single feel that the couples are unaware of some of the issues raised above, like PN's original point about the buying rounds, or Gen's point regarding the taxi fare. Couples see their income as joint, expenditure as joint, but see themselves in the singular.

For some of we couples it is exactly that. Couple, one income...covering two of us. We might be in the minority now, but it does still happen. Our (his) income is joint, our expenditure is joint...I think we see our selves as joint.

FWIW some of us have subsidised single friends too. Last year we shared a hotel room with a single female friend to reduce costs. Some costs for couples are simply not doubled. e.g. the hotel room example. A couple will still (usually) use one bed, so time required to strip/remake it is not doubled, just a little longer if the bed is bigger, similarly, one bathroom to clean, not two.

treliac

lostinrates wrote: »

Last year we shared a hotel room with a single female friend to reduce costs.

Saying that, on here, is inviting trouble..... :rotfl:

wageslave

Yes, it costs proportionaly more of your income to be singular but it is swings and roundabouts.

No bloke wanting to raid the piggy bank for an over priced car or a golf club he can't live without.

No one standing over you demanding to know where you have been or what you have spent your earnings on.

No ones (other than your owns) moods to take into consideration.

No smiling like a demented cheshire cat when you seriously don't feel like it.

I'd rather be shot dead at dawn than stuck in most of the relationships my friends have.

The extra dosh seems poor compensation

lostinrates

wageslave wrote: »

Yes, it costs proportionaly more of your income to be singular but it is swings and roundabouts.

No bloke wanting to raid the piggy bank for an over priced car or a golf club he can't live without.

No one standing over you demanding to know where you have been or what you have spent your earnings on.

No ones (other than your owns) moods to take into consideration.

No smiling like a demented cheshire cat when you seriously don't feel like it.

I'd rather be shot dead at dawn than stuck in most of the relationships my friends have.

The extra dosh seems poor compensation

Regardless of cost advantage or disadvantage I'd rather be in a happy relationship. Failing that single, not a bad relationship. I never feel I have to grin when I don't want to for DH, of course we have different spending priorities sometimes, but we comprimise. The point is, that a bad relationship isn't worth any financial saving, the best ones are worth financial loss!

wageslave

The thing about happy relationships is one half of the couple is generally miserable while the other half is totally oblivious.

Not all relationships I hasten to add, just all the ones I know:cool:

lostinrates

wageslave wrote: »

The thing about happy relationships is one half of the couple is generally miserable while the other half is totally oblivious.

Not all relationships I hasten to add, just all the ones I know:cool:

you gotta come and meet us In fact, I'd say a large minority of our friends are in happy relationships. Some I thought wouldn't work or were a little...desperate, are actually working out really well it seems.

treliac

lostinrates wrote: »

The point is, that a bad relationship isn't worth any financial saving, the best ones are worth financial loss!

wageslave wrote: »

The thing about happy relationships is one half of the couple is generally miserable while the other half is totally oblivious.

Not all relationships I hasten to add, just all the ones I know:cool:

Sustaining a relationship is difficult for lots of people and many times more difficult once children arrive. The emphasis then has to be on them and their security.

wageslave

lostinrates wrote: »

you gotta come and meet us In fact, I'd say a large minority of our friends are in happy relationships. Some I thought wouldn't work or were a little...desperate, are actually working out really well it seems.

I know those kind, get them half way down a bottle of wine and things become slightly more murky. They are making do, which is fine if you are petrified to be own your own. Which most of them are.

I sound dreadfully cynical and I am not. There is nothing I like, or envy, more than a genuinely happy relationship.

I just don't know any.

lostinrates

treliac wrote: »

Sustaining a relationship is difficult for lots of people and many times more difficult once children arrive. The emphasis then has to be on them and their security.

wasn't there some report in the press last week suggesting that the happiest couples were indeed childless? Chicken and egg...happiest because no children or together withour children because still happy?

wasgeslave , you ARE a cynic and I rather like to think you ''know'' me Yeah, thats what I thoughy about those relationships too, only, I seem to be proved wrong twice over in recent years in our circle. Also amazed at how many of our friends its the guys who seem to want kids more than the gals...is this generational? Surely it wasn't always so?

wageslave

There is a woman round my way (I wont call her a friend) who married some bloke she met in a pub a couple of years back. One of those hey I aint desperate but.... relationships.

On the surface they seemed extremely happy, all matching anoraks and holding hands in Tescos. The cops raided the house, turned out he had over 5000 obscene images of children on his hard drive. She stood by him right up until he got sent to the pokey.

I met her a few days ago, she is over the worst (this happened oh all of 3 months ago) and is now ready to go out there and try again. Her words not mine.

I am not sure whether to admire her persistence or weep at her stupidity.