The Cost of Being Single (not single mums, proper single)

neverdespairgirl

SandC wrote: »

We're too fussy to have a partner and cannot compromise is what you are saying?

I reckon there are as many reasons for people being single as there are people who are single.

Harry_Powell

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-10735857

"Breaking news, Jon Venables has been imprisoned for child !!!!!! offences, despite using the revolutionary 'carolt defence' of deferal. Venables stated that the children he was looking at would be adults in a few years, so it was all ok then.

The 'carolt defence' was first used on an internet forum populated by house price crash nutters as a defence against being labelled a benefit claimant. Carolt, fanatical forum poster and neglectful mother insisted that she did not receive state benefits because child benefit wasn't a benefit at all, it was a deferred tax rebate that her children received in childhood and repayed in adulthood.

When asked about the use of her now famous defence strategy, carolt replied "Here, look after me kids for a couple of hours will ya?. Us needs ter post on MSE, house prices have fallen .001% and my vibe is broken. I need to sort me'self out, like before I burst". Wise words indeed.

Badger_Lady

^ I don't want to thank you, Harry, 'cos that's a cheeky post... but it did make me giggle :rotfl:

carolt

Harry_Powell wrote: »

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-10735857

"Breaking news, Jon Venables has been imprisoned for child !!!!!! offences, despite using the revolutionary 'carolt defence' of deferal. Venables stated that the children he was looking at would be adults in a few years, so it was all ok then.

The 'carolt defence' was first used on an internet forum populated by house price crash nutters as a defence against being labelled a benefit claimant. Carolt, fanatical forum poster and neglectful mother insisted that she did not receive state benefits because child benefit wasn't a benefit at all, it was a deferred tax rebate that her children received in childhood and repayed in adulthood.

When asked about the use of her now famous defence strategy, carolt replied "Here, look after me kids for a couple of hours will ya?. Us needs ter post on MSE, house prices have fallen .001% and my vibe is broken. I need to sort me'self out, like before I burst". Wise words indeed.

Saved that one too, to add to my little stalker collection. So sweet, a pet stalker. Like a newt or something.

carolt

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

It's an easy way, then, of seeing off blokes you'd be wasting your time with.

There are perfectly gorgeous men out there who don't mind (who positively enjoy) women with their own minds, careers, and plans.

Very true. By definition, you don't want the ones without the confidence to cope with a strong, successful woman.

Natural selection at its best, I would have said.

ninky_2

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

It's an easy way, then, of seeing off blokes you'd be wasting your time with.

There are perfectly gorgeous men out there who don't mind (who positively enjoy) women with their own minds, careers, and plans.

as can be seen by the number of successful and independent women with partners.

you could always consider men who don't have high flying careers or properties as well. maybe they have other assets.:D

SandC

Absolutely.

However, independence does not necessarily equate to successful property owner - it's as much about the little things like not needing them to remove spiders and other insects from the house, not requiring them to pick you up from nights out, not considering ringing them if the car breaks down cos your first thought goes to RAC or AA or whoever it is you use..........

To me it's more about mindset than status and material things. A lot of men need to feel needed and a lot of us singletons are so used to doing everything ourselves that we forget we can ask for help.

Badger_Lady

ninky wrote: »

you could always consider men who don't have high flying careers or properties as well. maybe they have other assets.:D

Those seem to be the only ones interested! I spent 5 years living with a man (he happened to be 19 years older than me) who thought I was his new Mum. Singledom was a joy compared to that.

It is of course possible to have an entirely equal partnership where everyone involved has everything they want. Thing is, I found him, and discovered that not only was he just as independent as me, he was just as fussy. We became best friends instead because "it wasn't like the movies". Silly man.

MissMoneypenny

ninky wrote: »

yes but this is the key point isn't it. in many couples not just one person is working. plus if they are working it is quite unlikely the other one will be on jsa.

Go and read the benefits board and you just might get a shock.

ninky wrote: »

the reason if only one person is working and they lose their job they get more is because that money is intended to cover both of them. in fact it is not equivalent of two single people claiming. so in fact they get less per person as a couple than two single people claiming.

The couple won't have double the size of utility bills. I doubt if couples utility bills is much (if any) higher than a singles utility bills. Singles lose out again. £64 for a single:£103 for a couple. Add two non disabled children into the couples money and they get £270pw. It didn't use to be like that 8 or 9 years ago, but it is now.

PasturesNew

As for seeing women as independent... I don't choose to be independent, I have to be. Nobody else will ever do anything for me, so if I want things I have to sort it out myself. That doesn't make me independent, that makes me aware of the basics; I do the basics.... I know what I can't/won't do or sort out.

But people think that just because you're single, you're independent.

I just want to keep house, bake and warm slippers.... really.

I hate making decisions, they take me far too long. It'd be nice to be able to discuss stuff with somebody, then have them make the decision and just nod ... before making a nice cup of tea.

Don't confuse single with independent....