Clearmydebts - new chapter to becoming debt free before moving home

clearmydebts

starnac wrote: »

Well done CMD. you're doing well. How's bump?? and baby???

It feels like a very very slow process but I suppose we will get there in the end. Ideally I would have loved to be under 10k by the time the baby arrives but that won't be happening. Still - if I could get rid of 2 credit cards by then I would be well happy.

Bump is grand. This pregnancy is flying along. I will be 30 weeks on Thursday and don't feel one bit prepared! I am leaving work at 34 weeks and have annual leave and TOIL which brings me up to 38 weeks. Am happy I have stuck it out.

How are you feeling?

clearmydebts

wendz86 wrote: »

Well done on paying some off, fingers crossed for getting below 13k.

Thanks Wendz!

How is Poppy and yourself of course!

wendz86

Weare good thanks. Had a better couple of nights so all good.

Glad the pregnancy is going well, can't believe you are 30 weeks already x

clearmydebts

wendz86 wrote: »

Weare good thanks. Had a better couple of nights so all good.

Glad the pregnancy is going well, can't believe you are 30 weeks already x

Me neither. It is going so fast I hardly have time to think nevermind plan!

starnac

clearmydebts wrote: »

Me neither. It is going so fast I hardly have time to think nevermind plan!

They do say it goes faster with your 2nd. I suppose it's because you haven't got the time to sit and think about your bump as much as you did the first time

Cinny91

clearmydebts wrote: »

I was able to pay off a bit of money on a few cards today. With OH's relocation money and my expenses I hope to be just under 13k by the end of Aug.

That would be amazing, fingers firmly crossed!

And your pregnancy does seem to be going so quickly this time around, it won't be long at all will it? My Mum said the same that Starnac said when she was pregnant with my Sister. Flew right by!

Seems like you're feeling slightly more positive work wise. 4 weeks left there is no time at all. Hopefully it'll keep on zooming by for you

poddle911

clearmydebts wrote: »

Bump is grand. This pregnancy is flying along. I will be 30 weeks on Thursday and don't feel one bit prepared! I am leaving work at 34 weeks and have annual leave and TOIL which brings me up to 38 weeks. Am happy I have stuck it out.

Well done for sticking it out CMD, your boss sounds like a nightmare. You should be proud that you can rise above it and know that you're just doing it for your family. Fingers crossed you can get below £13k soon

Can't believe you're 30 weeks already either! It seems like hardly any time since you told us!

clearmydebts

I have a horrible headcold at the moment and feel rotten. I also had a huge row with OH last night. The job in Ireland doesn't exist anymore. This wasn't a surprise as he hasn't heard anything. In the meantime we had been discussing him applying for compressed hours and flying back to Ireland on a Thursday. When I looked through his work policies I saw that he could also apply to work from home. I think he should do this and say that he would work from home one week and be office based the next week but he said his boss won't go for it. I am so sick and tired of looking for ideas and solutions while he sits back and buries his head.

I sent him an email yesteday outlining how I felt and when he came home last night we tried to discuss it. He then laughed at me which just tipped me over the edge. I was trying to explain that when we lived here before he came and told me he wasn't happy and within 6 months we had left here and moved to England so he could spend 2 years doing a music course (that has gotten him nowhere). I helped him to find solutions that time and when we moved to England I had no job and had to get one so I could support us both.
I have been unhappy for 13 months and homesick and apart from the odd job application he has done nothing I can see except put barriers in the way. He doesn't want to live in the town I am from (we can't afford anywhere else and I have told him we can move in 5 years to a more desirable town). He doesn't like the commute on the train (loads of people do the 56 minute commute on the train) and when we were in England I took a job on rubbish pay and was willing to do that commute to support him to pursue music. It was just luck that a week later I landed a job working from home with better pay. That was through spending hours on the net researching jobs and applying for them.

At the moment I just feel like leaving and moving back to Ireland when my maternity leave kicks in. I just can't deal with this anymore.
I was chatting to my Mam last night and she said when I was back home for the christening at the weekend a couple of peopel commented on how skinny I was and my uncle (who never comments) told my aunt that all my sparkle was gone and I wasn't the same person. I actually thought that I was in great form the day of the christening.

I just feel like OH is completely ignoring my feelings. 13 months is a long time to be unhappy.

Dinah93

Aw hon. I really feel for you as I know how much you've wanted to go. Give it a few days to both calm down and discuss things a bit more before setting out a plan in your head. Trying to get into your DHs way of thinking, I commute over an hour each way every day, but it is absolutely shattering, and I can't imagine how I'd feel if I had litle ones at home I'd want to see as I'd be too exhausted and might even get back too late to see them. On the commuting back and forth across the sea, personally I'd hate being away from my family 4 nights a week, and it wouldn't be a sacrifice I was ever prepared to make, I would want them with me and would feel rejected that my OH would rather be in a location on their own half the week than with me. Quite aside from that the job would become your life, travelling, living alone in a little one room place like a student, I can't imagine it would be the most enjoyable lifestyle longterm unless you were really, really driven by your career. Don't get me wrong, I completely see why you're upset, and I can't imagine how you feel not wanting to put down roots as you're so desperate to leave and get back to your family, but for him you've said he doesn't want to particularly move back, and maybe for him being with his family is what he's got now, and moving back would be worse for him as it would take him away from you all a lot of the time. You sound like there has been a lot of too-ing and fro-ing and big changes in your family make up, maybe he's just tired of it all and needs to be still for a while. I don't think I'm wording it very well, I hope nothing i have said comes across as confrontational or anything, I'm just trying to get into his mindset, as while obviously you're miserable atm, he would be shattered and quite possibly miserable for the forseeable future, and a small part of him must be wondering why you'd rather be with your family in Ireland than with him in the family unit you've chosen to make here. x

Dinah93

Oh gosh that was a long ramble with no real structure. I'm sorry, I'm just hoping I can be a sounding board and maybe make you see things from different angles and hopefully help you find a way to sort out a solution with your OH that makes you both happy. Have you asked him what he wants to do?