Clearmydebts - new chapter to becoming debt free before moving home

Hannah_10

It seems that you have been spending well ahead of your needs and on things you don't need. That you have identified it yourself is awesome, well done, I expect this has been a bit of a revelation. However do you know why you were doing it, or what promted this spending? Was it feeling the need to be seen to be a good mother, or lonliness and boredom, or maybe something else? If you can identify what perceieved need you were trying to fill and then find a constructive way to fill it without spending more than you should then you have far more chance of breaking the habit forever than if you just say to yourself "I shalln't spend". For me periods of large spending are comfort, because I am very hurt about certain major things. I have learned to turn to my pets for that comfort. A week of letting the dog sleep on the bed and crying into the cat is nothing like as destructive as a week spent on the high street. See if you can work out why you spend and how to meet that need some other way. If it's boredom and lonliness (which is totally normal for a new Mum) why not go the other way and put your energies into a small and trusted business venture- like being the Avon lady, or doing party plan for example. If you feel a bit like other mums are all doing it better learn to bake and out-compete them there.

clearmydebts

Hannah_10 wrote: »

It seems that you have been spending well ahead of your needs and on things you don't need. That you have identified it yourself is awesome, well done, I expect this has been a bit of a revelation. However do you know why you were doing it, or what promted this spending? Was it feeling the need to be seen to be a good mother, or lonliness and boredom, or maybe something else? If you can identify what perceieved need you were trying to fill and then find a constructive way to fill it without spending more than you should then you have far more chance of breaking the habit forever than if you just say to yourself "I shalln't spend". For me periods of large spending are comfort, because I am very hurt about certain major things. I have learned to turn to my pets for that comfort. A week of letting the dog sleep on the bed and crying into the cat is nothing like as destructive as a week spent on the high street. See if you can work out why you spend and how to meet that need some other way. If it's boredom and lonliness (which is totally normal for a new Mum) why not go the other way and put your energies into a small and trusted business venture- like being the Avon lady, or doing party plan for example. If you feel a bit like other mums are all doing it better learn to bake and out-compete them there.

Hi Hannah,

Thanks for posting. My problem is very simple. I like the good things in life and have gotten out of the habit of saving for these things because I have been in debt for about 8 years. It is not down to boredom, lonliness or being a new Mum. I was like this well before having Max.

It is purely the buzz of ordering new things and seeing them coming through the door. Up until today I have been conned into thinking I am being organised and saving money by shopping in the sales. And yes, I am being organised, but I think I am only fooling myself because I am still in debt.

I think I am going to have to focus my internet time and energies away from the shops and back onto doing surveys and making money.

So my aim is to try not to buy anymore items online (except for shopping) as I have enough things, and so does OH and Max. The only exception I am going to make is to buy a camcorder as I have already missed out videoing Max up until now and don't want to miss anymore. Everything else I can do without.

clearmydebts

It seems I was a bit hasty with my BOI credit card and I actually have £125 less than I thought so have amended my sig. Every bit counts when the debt is this high.

So this month/August I should be able to pay back £500 off my debts and if OH's relocation money comes through that will be some more money towards the debts. I won't count on his relocation money though until it is lodged in the bank.

Tete_en_l'Air

So with a bit of luck you could be under (or nearly under) £15k by the end of the month? That'll be a big boost!

clearmydebts

Tete_en_l'Air wrote: »

So with a bit of luck you could be under (or nearly under) £15k by the end of the month? That'll be a big boost!

Yeah, it would be brilliant to be under 15k by the end of August. That would be a great boost

clearmydebts

Next just emailed me to say that they can't deliver something that I ordered so I can take an extra £5 off my storecard debt. It was something that I wasn't overly sure about anyway so am happy with that

clearmydebts

I returned unwanted stuff to Next and got £17 refunded back on to my account. Feels good to see the signaure coming down, even though it is just a little bit.

clearmydebts

Just got another delivery from Next and have another £27 worth of goods to go back, which will be taken back first thing tomorrow morning. I possibly have another item, at £12, to go back but need to check if OH wants it first. It would be a Xmas present for MIL so want to make sure it is suitable.

Have amended my signature as the stuff is going back first thing.

Edit: have just decided to return a bedset that I ordered so that is another £15. It looks gorgeous but it is 52% polyester and 48% cotton so the quality doesn't feel too good. I am fussy about my duvet sheets! Will ammend my sig again. This feels great

Edit again: another £9 worth to go back. I am being ruthless now

clearmydebts

Hi all,

Well I got another delivery from Next and am returning something else so another £25 off my account and potentially another £15 as I am not sure about another dress. I bought a lot of these on impulse so am not too upset about them going back. The main thing is that most things I bought for Max will be lovely on him

MY parents are over for a week today and we are going on the Eurostar on Saturday. August is a very busy and expensive month for us, so I have made the decision to only make the minimum repayments on our debts as it is fasle economy paying back some debts and then I end yo using the credit card anyway.

Tete_en_l'Air

Good idea - than if you have any left over at the end of the month to pay off the debt then you'll feel all virtuous! Well done on all the sending back, you're a machine!