To cheer us up.....

newlywed

Why was tigger peering down the toilet?

he was looking for Pooh!!!

Sorry - that one's pinched from my nephews!!

GreyPilgrim

Whats green and invisible?

GreyPilgrim

Whats orange and sounds like a parrot?

GreyPilgrim

The latest advice giving on the care of male geriatric patients with regards to making sure they have a good nights sleep is to give them a night time medication mixture of 50% valium, 50% viagra.

The valium makes them fall asleep, the viagra stops them falling out of bed.

GreyPilgrim

I tend to keep all of the funnies that circulate on my website, if anyone is interested.

I take no responsibility for offending anyone, mind..

http://www.flamingmango.com/funnystuff.htm

Locana

Why was the ballpoint pen put on antidepressants?

Because it was blue.

Locana

The President was out walking on a beautiful snowy day, when he saw that somebody had urinated on the White House lawn to spell out "The President Sucks." Infuriated, he called on the secret service to figure out who had done it. In a few hours, they came to him and told him that there was some bad news and some worse news.
"The bad news is that the urine is from the Vice President."

"Al? How could you do this to me? What could be worse than this?"

"The handwriting''s the first lady''s."

Locana

One day while jogging, a man noticed two tennis balls lying by the side of the road. He picked the balls up, put them in his pocket and proceeded on his way.
Waiting at the cross street for the light to change, he noticed a beautiful blonde standing next to him and smiling.

"What are those big bulges in your running shorts?" she asked.

"Tennis balls," answered the man, smiling back.

"Wow," said the blonde, looking upset. "That must hurt. I once had tennis elbow and the pain was unbearable."

(sorry about the blonde joke!!!)

GreyPilgrim

GreyPilgrim wrote:

Whats green and invisible?

"This cabbage"

GreyPilgrim

GreyPilgrim wrote:

Whats orange and sounds like a parrot?

"A Carrot"