To cheer us up.....

LittleL_4

Can we start a funny joke thread? I know it's not relevant to making money but it'll sure keep us amused along the way...

Ok... I'll start...........please laugh..

A guy enters a pet shop and says to the assistant he'd like to buy a wasp. The assistant says "sorry mate we don't sell wasps in here"
The guy looks puzzled and replies "well you've got one in your window"

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

boom boom!!

Little L
xx

caffeinehit

A guy goes to the zoo, but when he arrives, there's nothing there but a small dog.

It was a $hitzu.

bargainbetty

A man and his wife are woken up at 3.00 a.m. by a knock at the door. The husband answers the door, and a stranger is standing in the rain. He asks if the husband could help him by giving him a push.

The husband refuses and goes back to bed.

'What was that?' says the wife.
'Some man wanted a push, but it's raining out there - I'm not going.' says the husband.

Wife gets out of bed and puts on the light. 'You rotten s@d' she says. 'Don't you remember when we broke down a couple of weeks ago, and those lads stopped to help? They didn't care that it was raining. Go help him!'

The husband gets dressed, goes down stairs and opens the door.

'Are you still there?' he shouts into the darkness.
'Yes' comes the answer.
'Do you still want a push?' husband shouts as he walks out into the rain.
'Yes' says the voice.
'Where are you?' shouts the now drenched husband......

The voice shouts back 'Over here on the swing.'

Mizz_Pink

This is funny:

https://www.popnoodles.com/mostfarted

cantcope

Couple are woken by a loud banging on their front door. The man goes downstairs and answers it. Outside is a man getting drenched as it is pouring with rain. The wife hears him slam the door and he comes back up to bed.

"What did he want?" the wife asks
"He said he needed a push" says the man "he must be joking its 3 in the morning and tipping down with rain"

The wife reminds him how two men had helped them earlier that year when their car had broken down and makes him feel so guilty that he gets dressed and runs back downstairs. He opens the front door and yells into the darkness
"are you still here, do you still need a push?" he says.

"yes please mate that would be great" says the man.

"ok where abouts are you?"

"over here on the swings"

sorry make me chuckle

cantcope

oops seems like thats doing the rounds today

bargainbetty

great minds think alike Cantcope

cantcope

this made me chuckle too:

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY ?


(1) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you
like
sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep
the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10

(2) No person really decides before they grow up whom they're going to
marry.
God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're
stuck with.
-- Kristen, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

(1) Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by
then.
-- Camille, age 10

(2) No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get
married.
-- Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age)

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

(1) You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at
the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

(1) Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

(1) Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know
each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)

(2) On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually
gets
them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

(1) I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the
newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
-- Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

(1) When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7

(2) The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess
with
that.
- - Curt, age 7

(3 ) The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should
marry
them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
- Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

(1 ) I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing. I'm
never
going to have sex with my wife. I don't want to be all grossed out.
-- Theodore, age 8

(2 ) It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need
someone
to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

(1 ) There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8


And the #1 Favorite is........

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

(1 ) Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a
truck.
-- Ricky, age 10

Mizz_Pink

A horse walks into a pub and the barman says "why the long face ?"

2 prostitutes in a lift, one says to the other " I can smell a sweaty !!!!", the other prostitute says "sorry Ive just burped"

Whats the difference between a pigeon ? One if its legs arnt both the same.

cantcope

Mizz_Pink wrote:

Whats the difference between a pigeon ? One if its legs arnt both the same.

I don't get it

lazy&indebt

Tortoise knocks on a mans door. The man opens it and starts shouting:
" Err, get away from me you vile creature" And he kicks the tortoise away and goes back inside.
2 years later there is another knock at the door, the man answers it and it's the tortoise saying "what did you do that for?"



What's pink and fluffy?




Pink fluff