It's STILL tough and not getting better - so how are we coping?

alec_eiffel

kidcat wrote: »

Am sitting here numb today, as yesterday I asked OH to leave, and he did. I have suspected stuff for months (really long dog walks - which tooks ages to get ready for, money going missing, alays late from work, no phoning home during the day, the lsit goes on) but yesterday got the maiden a nd hoover tangled up and caught his dog walking coat, which tipped onto floor and out popped a recipe for a mobile phone sim and top up. As he has a fully paid contract which he never uses anywhere near all his allowance on he has no need to have a PAYGO phone too. I asked him about it when he came home and he kept coming up with even more implausible excuses, and I pointed out that he really needed to go with the truth in order for us to get anywhere. He refused so I asked him to leave.
Havent told the kids yet, and he hasnt been in contact since. So not really sure what happens next.

I don't really know what to say but didn't want to read and run. But I am so sorry you've just had to face this terrible situation. I know other people will be more useful than me but just didn't want to not say anything.

D&DD

Kezlou have you got a Sainsburys near you? Just asking because ours often has cheese on managers special prices eg 59p a lb I'm a cheesemonster too would be lost without mine

Kidcat..I'm so sorry to hear your sad news,I've no advice to give but wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you XX

coldstreamalways

OMG, hugs and thoughts with you. Be strong, decide on your own what you must do. The asnwer is never easy but you must do what is right for YOU.:(

Fruball

Oh Kidcat (((((hugs))))) Same happened to me some time back altho I found emails confirming hotel reservations . Am now on my own with two little ones and he didn't end up with her, someone else in the office had her.... Office BIKE springs to mind

Anyway, after a little period of revenge (his toothbrush cleaned our toilet, pepper in his underwear drawer, one laptop hurled at him out of the front door (subsequently didn't work), various horrors in his dinner) we all went our separate ways and now some other poor woman (with kids) has been unfortunate enough to fall for his BS and put a roof over his head. Hope she knows about his debts and compulsive lying problems altho I bet he told her that everything was my fault... just as he did with me when his ex wife threw him out before we met :rotfl::rotfl:

Take one day at a time. Sounds from your post that you have seen this coming so hopefully its not *too* much of a shock, altho of course will be a shock.

Do you have a close friend nearby who you can tell what has happened? Friends are crucial at times like these... and if not, you have us :j

kidcat

Thanks for the thoughts, I am surprisingly ok at the moment. Only tim ewill tell I guess. and its a matter of taking each day on its own for the moment.

Someone asked earlier about the census jobs - heres the link https://censusjobs.co.uk/fe/tpl_census01.asp?newms=info1

seasalt_2

()s kidcat. Thinking of you. Wishing you the strength to do whatever is the right thing for you and the children.

lambanana

kidcat I'm sorry your DH has been a scumbag, I hope you take care of yourself!

kezlou I know DH is lucky that he does get to pick and choose, I still wish he wouldn't eat so much cheese though, I worry it's probably not good for him. I really hope things look up for you soon


I just got some good news, I've got another interview in October (not been given a date yet) for a job I applied for ages ago and had written off as it had been so long and I'd heard nothing. They asked if I was still interested and are going to interview me so we'll see what happens. Just getting the interview practice is fantastic if nothing else, one day it'll be successful!! I got really good feedback from my last interview (they went with an internal candidate but apparently only just went for them over me and have thrown my name around the company as a good candidate for future jobs!) so fingers crossed...we'll see what happens

parsonswife8

I'm sorry to hear your news Kidcat, I've been through a few times like that myself and it is not easy to come to terms with. I wish you well and hope that you can get through this.

On another note, our car that is in the garage has officially "had it". There is a problem on the mother computer board and as soon as the fault that is showing has been fixed. it knocks out another one.
It looks like it will have to be scrapped and what makes it worse is, we have already spent £260 getting the first fault fixed and DH will probably have to pay for the next thing they have tried to fix, which has failed. Even if it can be fixed it will probably cost another small fortune and it just isn't worth it tbh.

I feel a food binge coming on.:mad::mad:

hellsbells45

Kitkat - When me and ex split up (wasn't due to playing around though) things had been rumbling along for quite a few years. When I eventually said we shuld split up, he couldn't get out of the house fast enough, think he had been making me as miserable as he could so that i would be the one to say it and therefore my responsiblity. I did feel and great deal of relief when he left, but it didn't stop all the bereavement you go through. Just take it one day at a time. x

kidcat

parsonswife8 wrote: »

I'm sorry to hear your news Kidcat, I've been through a few times like that myself and it is not easy to come to terms with. I wish you well and hope that you can get through this.

On another note, our car that is in the garage has officially "had it". There is a problem on the mother computer board and as soon as the fault that is showing has been fixed. it knocks out another one.
It looks like it will have to be scrapped and what makes it worse is, we have already spent £260 getting the first fault fixed and DH will probably have to pay for the next thing they have tried to fix, which has failed. Even if it can be fixed it will probably cost another small fortune and it just isn't worth it tbh.

I feel a food binge coming on.:mad::mad:

Do you know a good independant car electrician? The computer mother board went on my little car last year, by the time it was diagnosed we had replaced allsorts cos the machine just kept picking new faults, was only when I sat down and started asking "silly" questions that I suggested it was the thing generating the codes and someone checked it and realised it had gone. My dad then went to scrap yard and took one off a similar car, fitted it to mine and our local car elecs guy programmed it to work with my car and it runs great now. Cost £15 for the part and £10 for electrician, irony is the other stuff we had replaced earlier is still sitting in my garage, as once we realised a part was not broken we removed it and put the original back!!