It's STILL tough and not getting better - so how are we coping?

Charis

BigMummaF wrote: »

Fingers firmly X for DaddyCrickett here too x

I have to confess I know zilch about internet auction sites but I saw something I had never heard of, on t'telly t'other day. There was a young lady who had a shop [oops! sounds like the start of a bad poem but stick with me ] & people took the items they wanted to sell; she did all the hard work--photo, description, etc--to list them on the-bay & took 30% think twas :think:

One of those opened in this town about a month ago. I noticed yesterday that it has already closed down and the shop has been cleared out.

D&DD

:Twell done Hester thats a great haul

Jackie what variety have you got in? I'm doing vivaldi,maris peer,bambino I think..

Taplady did your freecyclers come?

Nara hope your dog's ok we've been playing with a yorkie, a springer *nutcase* :rotfl:and a heinz 57 today don't know who's more worn out me or DS :cool:

Going to see shar peis in the morning, busy weekend but DS3 is having fun thats the main thing

Got 3 lots of washing done too so happy girl today!

katholicos

Thanks to all who offered advice and comiserations re: my bone idle daughter!

Today i have been unwell and asked her to go the shop for me and she refused. I lost my rag and told her she is selfish and self absorbed. I've decided that i will just make one meal a day from now on, the main meal, something in the stock pot that she can help herself to because i am not going to keep going all out to make nice sit down meals when she can't even be bothered to wash the dishes after I've cooked for her. The bare minimum, that's what she gets from me from now on.

She is such a good girl in every other way, she is just lazy and inconsiderate when it comes to pulling her weight around the house. She is off to uni n October but will commute from home, though she will spent at least half the week living with my parents, 10 mins away. I worry because my parents have serious health issues to contend with, particulalry my Dad, and if she abuses their hospitality i will go ballistic.

The thing is, there is no cash for her to live near uni and she wants to stay at home and commute for at least the first year. Me and my parents want to support her decision to go but there is no way we can go on like this.

Thanks for listening, i really appreciate it.

ubamother

katholicos wrote: »

She is such a good girl in every other way, she is just lazy and inconsiderate when it comes to pulling her weight around the house. She is off to uni n October but will commute from home, though she will spent at least half the week living with my parents, 10 mins away. I worry because my parents have serious health issues to contend with, particulalry my Dad, and if she abuses their hospitality i will go ballistic.

If she's like many other kids of that age - she'll be wonderfully helpful to everyone else - grandparents included - and just be dreadful to you!

parsonswife8

katholicos wrote: »

Thanks to all who offered advice and comiserations re: my bone idle daughter!

Today i have been unwell and asked her to go the shop for me and she refused. I lost my rag and told her she is selfish and self absorbed. I've decided that i will just make one meal a day from now on, the main meal, something in the stock pot that she can help herself to because i am not going to keep going all out to make nice sit down meals when she can't even be bothered to wash the dishes after I've cooked for her. The bare minimum, that's what she gets from me from now on.

She is such a good girl in every other way, she is just lazy and inconsiderate when it comes to pulling her weight around the house. She is off to uni n October but will commute from home, though she will spent at least half the week living with my parents, 10 mins away. I worry because my parents have serious health issues to contend with, particulalry my Dad, and if she abuses their hospitality i will go ballistic.

The thing is, there is no cash for her to live near uni and she wants to stay at home and commute for at least the first year. Me and my parents want to support her decision to go but there is no way we can go on like this.

Thanks for listening, i really appreciate it.

I empathize fully with you. As much as I love my girl, she never lifted a finger either. Wouldn't do any shopping, wouldn't cook, wouldn't clean or do her own washing or ironing.
Ran up my phone bill and was barely civil.
And I wasn't well.

She is in her early twenties now and thankfully, has changed for the better. In a good job, has a lovely partner and is a lot happier and therefore, more cheerful then before. Has moved out of home and lives with him, so hopefully, she is doing a bit more in the housework department.

Hang in there, but be firm with her cause being soft just doesn't pay for you in the long run and she scores all the way. Don't make yourself ill, over it. Try looking after number 1 for a change.

Best of luck and hugs.

northwest1965

sammy_kaye18 wrote: »

see what????

Oops, I thought I also attached a link.

I was listening to the news this morning. Bed bugs are on the increase in the UK. How awful!

parsonswife8

northwest1965 wrote: »

Oops, I thought I also attached a link.

I was listening to the news this morning. Bed bugs are on the increase in the UK. How awful!

Saw that on telly this morning, I am already itching.:eek:

D&DD

*itches* nah its ok *scratches* think I'll pass on that link *scratches bum* thanks any way northwest :rotfl:

parsonswife8

D&DD wrote: »

*itches* nah its ok *scratches* think I'll pass on that link *scratches bum* thanks any way northwest

:eek::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Prudent

katholics, Hang in there with your daughter. I have been through this with my own daughter. We almost got to the putting her stuff in bin bags stage and taking her to her Dad's to live. I had frequent tough words with her. I am also not well (systemic lupus) and do a demanding full time job with a long commute. Plus I am on my own with her. I felt I couldn't sustain the situation any longer as it was really impacting on my health. She is now 18 and really turning a corner. She needs reminders - this week she hasn't helped much. But overall the improvement has been massive.

I started with a list and a set number of hours she had to help around the house. If things weren't done properly I just asked her to do them again. Now the arrangement is more casual, but she understands its a shared responsiblity.

Dd is hoping to go away to uni/ college. I think I have done her flat mates a big favour

Hello to evryone else. I do apologise for being such an infrequent visitor. In term time (I am a teacher) I find I have very little time and energy (perhaps because of the lupus). I am looking forward to a read through and catch up this evening. Miss you all