kerrier council are throwing my family on the streets

ILW

Am I missing something?
Why does a marital dispute in Surrey have to be funded and sorted out by a local authority in Cornwall?

Wee_Willy_Harris

ILW wrote: »

Am I missing something?
Why does a marital dispute in Surrey have to be funded and sorted out by a local authority in Cornwall?

From the info given by the OP, it was a bit more than a marital dispute.

martindow

Wee_Willy_Harris wrote: »

From the info given by the OP, it was a bit more than a marital dispute.

Unfortunately the OP has not come back to clarify issues or answer questions so who knows?

Wee_Willy_Harris

martindow wrote: »

Unfortunately the OP has not come back to clarify issues or answer questions so who knows?

I know, because threats to kill (stated in OP) are more than just a marital dispute, in my book at least.

Tiddlywinks

Wee_Willy_Harris wrote: »

I know, because threats to kill (stated in OP) are more than just a marital dispute, in my book at least.

BUT you need context - and you don't have it.... for instance a "threat to life" is often used in less than threatening circumstances - I've often said to my OH (when he's annoyed me) not to come near me as I have a sharp object in my hand but that is said in jest. Even the angry "Oh god, I could kill him" grumble isn't actually a threat to life as the intent and risk would be taken into account.

Just let this go - the original poster hasn't come back so why do you keep feeling the need to address every single point that doesn't fit with your interpretation.

Yes, DV is serious BUT this poster has not acted in the typical way (or fit the profile) of one who is in fear for her safety - she posts location, pictures etc on an open forum and stayed with a relative known to her violent ex.

Wee_Willy_Harris

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

BUT you need context - and you don't have it.... for instance a "threat to life" is often used in less than threatening circumstances - I've often said to my OH (when he's annoyed me) not to come near me as I have a sharp object in my hand but that is said in jest. Even the angry "Oh god, I could kill him" grumble isn't actually a threat to life as the intent and risk would be taken into account.

Just let this go - the original poster hasn't come back so why do you keep feeling the need to address every single point that doesn't fit with your interpretation.

Yes, DV is serious BUT this poster has not acted in the typical way (or fit the profile) of one who is in fear for her safety - she posts location, pictures etc on an open forum and stayed with a relative known to her violent ex.

There is an element of context within the OP....

vfallows83 wrote: »

while we were here my ex partner threatned my familys lives if we returned to surrey. he also attacked my friend who was looking after my house while i was in holiday, the police were called and they visited my friend to see what had happened, but my friend didnt want to take it any further because he was to scared.

.... Doesn't sound like much of a "jest" to me.

As for the original poster not coming back? Well, we cannot know if she has read this thread since her last activity as only posting activity is recorded. Of course, the OP may not be the only person in her position (or similar) who may benefit from knowing the options available. How many times are posters chastised on here for multiple threads and suggestions made that they search for previous answers to the same question?

The poster hasn't reacted is a "typical way" to DV as there is no "typical way" to react (or "profile" to follow), but a desire to get far away from the perpetrator isn't unusual.

At the end of the day, people come on here for help, support and advice. I have explained her options and the legal position. I have also explained the possible down-sides and alternatives available. Why you would find that objectionable is, frankly, beyond me.

dopester

WWH your blood pressure is going to seriously begin rising when you begin to realise just how out of money Government and local councils will be within the next 6 to 18 months.

No amount of pointing to your rulebook is going to change things. In the real world there are going to have to be many more compromises.

Running_Horse

Can I have the last word?

Let's stop flogging this dead horse.

Tiddlywinks

Wee_Willy_Harris wrote: »

The poster hasn't reacted is a "typical way" to DV as there is no "typical way" to react (or "profile" to follow), but a desire to get far away from the perpetrator isn't unusual.

<sighs>.....<deep breath>.......

Actually, thousands of psychologists / analysts would disagree about the profiling - indeed "victimology" is studied, measured and profiles agreed in order to inform govermental decision making - including DV teams. Expert witnesses regularly refer to expected "patterns of behaviour" in court.

As to my "objections" to your posts - yes, I object.... to your need to justify your position even when there is so little real fact/detail on which to go on.

If this is a subject that is really close to your heart then why not go and work with a charity to assist those that take steps to escape. I'm sure your help would be appreciated (but you must learn to remain detatched).

Also, workers in this field should always approach situations in an objective way - just because an individual presents as a "victim" does not make it fact - it's amazing what can happen in disputes over custody, maintenance, new partners, moving the kids out of the area etc that motivate false accusations. Friends and family may also assist in the fabrication - not in the majority of cases but it happens enough to remain a consideration.

Wee_Willy_Harris

dopester wrote: »

WWH your blood pressure is going to seriously begin rising when you begin to realise just how out of money Government and local councils will be within the next 6 to 18 months.

No amount of pointing to your rulebook is going to change things. In the real world there are going to have to be many more compromises.

My blood pressure is just fine. After all, I didn't right the "rulebook", that is the job of Government. But, I'm afraid, the rules are the rules. Until they change them, they still apply, and if LA's won't comply, there is another rulebook which will make them. It's how we do things in this country.