Ladies & Gentlemen, please fasten your seatbelts ...

mummytogirls

Hi Benben, ive been following your diary over the past few weeks!

I just had to say im completely shocked that your ex left his DS on boxing day with his gf! He obviously knew he was doing something you wouldnt like by not letting DS call you.
I know its hard but if ex is an @rse DS will soon be old enough to make up his own mind about visiting him.

(hugs) hope your ok x x x

benbenandme

Thankyou MTG ... he definitely knew I wouldn't like it Apparently ds said he did ask to change his shift but they said no, and his girlfriend had no credit on her phone, but I don't see why he couldn't use his mobile or the home phone?? :mad: I am sooo angry, I don't relax when he's away from home anyway, but with knowing that even if he's unhappy he's not allowed to contact me, well that just makes it a million times harder He's SUCH an absolute ****

Keeping_Motivated

Benben could you not just text your x saying that as you now know he is working could he let you know 'when' he will be working as there will be no point in DS being there and you are more than happy to keep him rather than him come home upset because he didn't have either mum or dad with him?

mummytogirls

Awwww poor DS I cant believe he wouldnt let him ring. Even if my DD's sleep out at mil's we always ring before bedtime to say night, bloody [EMAIL="tw@t"]!!!!!![/EMAIL]!

KM has a good idea, if you didnt want to kick up a fuss? Although if it was me id have probably caused the argument by now haha! xx

Pooky

I'd be seething! Poor DS being put in that position, must have been very confusing for him.

Sounds like you need to have some serious chats to ex about this.

Makes you realise why they're ex's though doesn't it.

benbenandme

He'll either deny receiving the text or will say he's not doing any more nights or some other such excuse, I've learned not to believe one scrap of what he mutters ....

I don't get why he didn't let him come home last night, he was at work all night and then slept in all morning so ds had to play quietly with his g/f watching him, then when he did get up they went to the g/f's parents house for lunch :cool: What fun is there for ds in that?? The idea of access is for him to spend time with his son isn't it?? Its ridiculous, when we sorted out xmas arrangements he could have asked to have him at some other point in the holidays if it was easier for him?? :mad: :mad:

stressed.mum

Oh BenBen that is so bad, He shouldn;t have done that. He should have at least told you he had to work, and spoken to DS and found out what HE wanted, to stay or ome home early. Would it be possible to get a cheap mobile, programme in your numbers so DS can always get hold of you when he is there. His dad should at least allow him to call if he wants to say good night. My DD;s are 15 & 14 and I always text to say goodnight even if they are staying at freiends!!

Stressed xxx

dangers

stressed mum - I was going to suggest the same thing about a mobile - it could be one that goes from yours with ds when he goes to daddy's house and then comes back when he comes home. Would it be possible for you to ring ds when he's away? or do you think it might make it worse for him?
Big hugs to you both.

benbenandme

I have rung him a couple of times before when he's away; once it really upset him and also I feel thats his dads time with him so I tend to leave him to it, but I do always tell ds he can ring me any time he wants to. It breaks my heart to think he wanted to call me and wasn't allowed to I've tried calling him but his phone is switched off :cool:

Ds does have a phone that his dad calls him on but I haven't put credit on it as I know who would spend it :cool: so ds doesn't take it with him, maybe I'll need to let him, although it sounds as though he wouldn't let him ring because he knew ds would ask me to pick him up and bring him home, so he'd probably find some reason ds couldn't call me from his own phone either :mad: The law is a joke that forces kids to go to parents like him, I would never hand ds over to a stranger, yet the law says its fine for his dad (who I have no trust in whatsoever) to leave him with someone I don't even know and not let him contact me ...

Buffythedebtslayer

Oh Benben.

What an !!!!!!. FOR GOD SAKE he is a little boy, foul foul git needs a good kicking and what the !!!! is wrong with his bloody gf why the HELL would you stop a child ringing his MUM ? stupid spineless !!!!.

O I wish to God you didn't have to let him have access. Can you tell your solicitor all this would it help? can it limit his access?

What's the point!!!

(sorry I have a friend with a knob for an ex and she has similar problems - his classic is capolling up the child so she goes to sleep so he can spend all night on the phone to his new girlfriend - (he doesn't have a proper flat so she has to leave her house twice a week to allow him access) and of course she pays the phone bill!

It just makes me SO mad.

xxx