Full time working mums input please!

onlyroz

If you want your man to do more cooking then get a BBQ. We've recently had about 3 a week, and hubby won't let me touch the thing. He even scrubs it clean afterwards, much to my amazement, and even helps get the patio furniture out. Not a problem :cool: Where's the Pimms? :rotfl:

donnaessex

Thanks so much for everyones input. My home wireless is dead sorry I havent been online.

I'll try to answer some points as I remember them!

My husband - he is great and I'm not complaining about his input into the household chores whatsoever. I know it might sound lame but he works 12 hour shifts 6 days a week in a manual job while I have a relatively stress free position working in an office - he is exhausted when he comes home and does help out when I ask. He takes care of all DIY and gardening and more often than not he is doing something to help - hoovering, loading dishwasher and stuff. Oh, and no way would I let him near an iron!!!

My childminder - she would be happy to give the children dinner for me but as a full time working mum I am loathe to let her cook the one meal a day that I will see them eat (I dont count breakfast of cereal and toast as a home cooked meal!) When I went back to work after my first baby she did feed her dinner but it really got to me in the end so I shifted the dinnertime back to 6pm and I enjoy cooking food for them both.

The practical suggestions are great and thankfully received and I will certainly put some into practice. This weekend I made an effort of grabbing a basket, going through rooms picking up things that shouldnt be there and going round putting stuff away - it made a big difference. I am a clutter magnet and am bad at throwing things out but I do need to change.

Back to read more and see if I've missed anything!

mrcow

mikey72 wrote: »

No problem with that, so long as you include are the grass cutting, gardening, car cleaning, painting, MOT's, garage, house repair, putting out the bins, cleaning the drains, and the thousand and one other jobs that in your world happens by itself.
Or do you do that in your family, or don't you pull your weight there?
The op isn't complaining about her husband.

lol only a man would put MOTs and car clearning as household chores

Dropping it off at an MOT centre once a year or washing down a car once in a while hardly warrants a place on a list. Neither does wheeling a bin out to the edge of the driveway every Wednesday morning.

Tell me that you did the ironing pile this weekend - then I'll be impressed.

donnaessex

Also to add - I have started doing online shopping and I love it! I have it delivered every 9 days so I only shop 3 x a month ish which has saved me a fortune really.

Another thing I just wanted to add which I thought about this weekend. Growing up our house was always a mess (5 girls under 8 years!) and my mum did have bouts of genuine depression over her home. I dont ever want my children to go through what we went through. I dont want to be uber-clean but I'd love to just be able to keep it tidy.

mikey72

mrcow wrote: »

lol only a man would put MOTs and car clearning as household chores

Dropping it off at an MOT centre once a year or washing down a car once in a while hardly warrants a place on a list. Neither does wheeling a bin out to the edge of the driveway every Wednesday morning.

Tell me that you did the ironing pile this weekend - then I'll be impressed.

Kids shirts were all that was needed, plus
self employed- went out Saturday morning working,
different job early afternoon,
BBQ for the family Saturday afternoon
picked up one from guide camp Sunday morning,
took her shopping for socks for school,
oil change on one of the cars,
plus all the usual things around the house.
just got them off to school, so out to work now, after I've loaded all I need for the day.

Tell me what you did that wasn't a "household chore"
lol

mrcow

This weekend?

You don't even want to know! - I've got three children and so multitasking is a generic part of my make up. Shopping for socks? No individual task would ever be listed as basically as that. I'd love to afford the time to go on a shopping trip specifically for socks. It would remind me of the time when I had a life to myself. Those days are like a distant memory. I did buy some socks somewhere along the line as it happens this weekend for two of my children (one needed school socks and the other I bought as part of her birthday present which I've also had to sort out - including her party for 30 which I've sorted for this week).

Anyway if you're genuinely interested (as I could do with letting off steam as it's been nuts), this weekend I've had the "exam weekend from hell" as I've endearingly termed it. Which involved carting kids to and from rehearsals and then formal exams for both dancing and music. I've spent the weekend helping my son practise for his grade 1 and it has been stress city, going through the same stuff again and again, so I took him out afterwards as a reward. Plus we've had people over so I've dealt with that, plus (don't laugh) I've completed all my Chrstmas cards because after Septmeber I won't have time. We took everyone out on Friday too. Plus loads of other stuff - none of which of course are "household" chores.

Other stuff (some of which i would class as holdhold chores) includes everyone's meals (we had two BBQs in that too), changing all the beds, cleaning out the top floor of the house (including cleaning up the usual suspects - a miriad of books and toys and about 2000 pieces of Lego which all needed colour sorting), vacuumed and polished, doing out the bathroom, cutting my middle daughter's hair, sorting out all their reports etc which came on Friday, helping them with homework & reading, helping them go through all their art stuff and sorting it and sharpeneing all the pencils etc., sewing badge onto Cubs uniform as it's Cubs tonight so that needed doing, sewing together daughters hairband as it had broken, making playdough with youngest as she wanted to play restaurants with me, sorting out my college stuff (I'm doing a part time course) as they've moved the bloody goalposts again, going through some handwriting practice and KS2 maths work with my son, sorting out the bookshelves in the kids' rooms as my daughter wanted some new reading material so I've moved loads of the shelves around, I also have done at least an hour of piano practice with my son this weekend as the piano had been getting more of a back seat as we've been worrying about the other exams in the run up to this weekend.... I'm boring myself now.

We watched the football and the UK grand prix was on at some point.

I'm very fortunate though - my OH does help out with (proper) chores. He's done all the clothes for the weekend. Plus he cleaned the entire downstairs of the house, plus he's done the study out, plus he's kept on top of the dishwasher this weekend and so I've not had to worry about the kitchen. Plus he went food shopping and so handled all of that.

mummy_Jay

I think the best advice is having a routine.

For me it's even down to having set meals on set days so there's not thought needed, clothes are layed out the night before and my DS has been taught since a toddler that he can have one box of toys out at a time and to put them away before getting another box of toys, he also puts his own toys away before bedtime. DS also helps at the weekend with dusting whilst I hoover, washing the car, gardening etc. I also make his pack lunch whilst I cook dinner.

So my day to day routine is roughly:

6:25 - wake up get dressed
6:35 - wake DS up, do my best cheerleader role of getting him to dress himself (he's 6)
6:50 - go downstair, have a drink, put lunch in bag etc
7:05 - brush teeth, put shoes on, coat etc
7:10 - take DS to childminder (he has breakfast at childminders)
16:40 (ish depending on traffic) - pick up DS
16 :45 get changed, get lunch box out of bag and try and findout what he did today
16:50 start cooking dinner, make lunch whilst cooking and put in fridge for the night
17:30- 18:15 eat dinner together
18:20 do reading/homework
19:00 start bedtime routine - DS put his dirty clothes directly into washing machine, lay clothes out and give DS bath
19:30 tuck DS up in bed and read to him
20:00 do washing up, etc
23:00 bath and bed for me

I don't do ironing and I don't have a partner to share chores with but routine works for me.

lch_2

I am a working mum, with a 5 month old son. I work full time, 37 hours a week, monday to friday. I rely on family for childcare 3 days a week and use a day nursery for the other 2 days. Here is my routine:

6 or 6.30am ish - Baby wakes up for a bottle. Bottle given in nursing chair in bedroom.
6.45am - i get showered. Baby is either with my husband or sat in his bumbo seat in the bathroom playing with some bath toys, where i can keep an eye on him.
7am - Once i am dressed, Baby is bathed and dressed.
7.15am - husband showers
7.30am - breakfast for me, chuck some toys in trunki
7.40am - attempt to give Baby breakfast!!!
7.45am - husband loads up the car
7.50am - leave the house!
8am - drop Baby off
8.15am - drop husband off
8.30am - work!
5pm - finish work
5.15pm - collect husband
5.30pm - collect Baby
6 to 6.30pm is - feed Baby dinner and put ours in the oven. This is a joint effort as baby likes to suck thumb at same time a food being shovelled into his mouth! Messy!!!!!
7pm - eat dinner whilst Baby enjoys his activity seat
8pm - change baby for bed, clean nappy, select Baby's clothes for next day, then quiet time, maybe a little time on the playmat but nothing too exciting
9pm - last bottle for Baby who usually falls asleep in my arms straight after. He is then taken up to bed. Nip into our room and select my clothes for the next day.
9.30pm - wash all of the days bottles, put in microwave to sterilise. I do washing up while husband refills milk powder pots, then puts sterilised bottles together. I dish out next days baby food into travel pots. husband makes sandwiches for our lunch. Baby's bag is filled ready for the next day.
10.30pm - bed!

Things that help:

I use a tommee tippee flask which is brilliant! At night i take a tray up to the bedroom with the flask, two baby bottles with pre measured formula pots and a bottle of water for me. If baby wakes in the night, everything is there ready. If he doesn't then i use one bottle for his morning feed and the other is ready for use later.

I don't iron. Washing is loaded into the washing machine at night and if i have time, done that night, or done on a timer and unloaded first thing in the morning, but always at the weekend. I rarely do a washer load in the week. My husband irons his work shirts, but i unload the washing machine and hang everything on hangers, so most stuff doesn't even need ironing. I wash our sheets one week, Baby's sheets the next. Fresh towels every week. I think i do at least 3 washer loads a week so i start on Thursday or more often Friday evening.

Baby is bathed in the morning and has a face wash at night when he is changed for bed. For me the evenings after he is in bed are busy so the quicker that happens the more time i have.

Baby's bag is always ready for the next day. Our clothes are selected for the next day. No phaffing in the morning.

I do really rely on freezer food. I get so little time with my Baby i actually want to spend it with him, not be stood in front of the oven. If i do cook from scratch i move his activity seat into the dining room so he can see me where i cook, or he plays with Daddy.

We hoover on the weekends. i'd love to have time to properly clean more often, but i don't. i'm particular about the floor being clean as Baby is starting to crawl. We also use a fleece throw on the floor for baby to play on.

I can't remember the last time i washed my car. Husband doesn't drive so it doesn't bother him and at the end of the day until i can convince little man that its a fun thing to do, it probably won't get washed!

As for finding the time to go out and do a shop, i always leave the house immediately after a feed. This gives me the maximum amount of time before Baby needs anything else. I always take 3 bottles and the flask out as i fear being stuck in traffic and having a screaming hungry / thirsty baby. Now i am back at work i really miss being able to shop mid week. A couple of weeks ago we walked into town and i want the pound shop. Well i just about managed to get the door with the pram, but gave up trying to get any further!

picnmix

I'm a working mum 2 kiddies 5 & 2 - have very little routine, just muddle through on a day to day basis, but kiddies are very happy, get to school on time, get picked up on time (essential really!) and eat 3 meals a day.

House on somedays looks like a bombsite up until 6.30ish then we all muck in and tidy everything away before bathtime (this also means that when I get up in the morning the house looks reasonable), then when out of bath its quiet time with reading stories etc. Tend to do all houseworky things when kiddies in bed (except hoovering) don't get a minute to myself (I can barely remember what spending time alone is like), me and DH tend to eat our meals quite late on the days we dont eat with kids.

I have to work so just accept that this is the way it is, doesn't bother me.

Wouldn't have it any other way - as kiddies are happy and healthy and I know it wont last forever so I just roll with it. Don't sweat the small stuff.

mikey72

mrcow wrote: »

This weekend?

including her party for 30 which I've sorted for this week).
Which involved carting kids to and from rehearsals
formal exams for both dancing and music.
I've spent the weekend helping my son practise for his grade 1
I took him out afterwards as a reward.
Plus we've had people over so I've dealt with that,
I've completed all my Chrstmas cards
cutting my middle daughter's hair,
sorting out all their reports
helping them with homework & reading,
helping them go through all their art stuff and sorting it
sharpeneing all the pencils etc.,
sewing badge onto Cubs uniform
sewing together daughters hairband as it had broken,
making playdough with youngest
sorting out my college stuff
going through some handwriting practice and KS2 maths work
at least an hour of piano practice with my son

That's all sitting down stuff, it's the real work I was talking about, not the stuff you race your OH to do. (yes I can sew as well)

I've moved loads of the shelves around,

If you mean that, with a hammer drill and rawlplugs, I'm impressed now.

We watched the football and the UK grand prix was on at some point.

I only managed the football, while working on my laptop, getting bills out for custimers

Plus he went food shopping

What, just for food, isn't that a bit like just going for socks?

Let's call a truce for now, and I won't say dusting is 5 minutes flicking around with a cloth again, if you don't say cars are just an MOT once a year.
So long as both people are happy, they're both doing what works for them.
If my wife comes in and says "the cars making a funny noise", she expects it shortly not to, beyond that she doesn't worry. Same with a thousand other jobs.
Otherwise I can banter all day now, as one of my kids has come home sick, so as I have come home as well, my wife can't, just means I have to catch up tommorrow evening.