Full time working mums input please!

donnaessex

Hi experts!

My house is a mess! I am forever moving things from one place to another to try and tidy away but it never stays nice. My children are 3 (next month) and 20 months.

What is your routine? At the moment my day is:

5.45 - husband leaves for work
6.45 - wake up, get bags ready for me and children
7.00 - get kids up, washed and give them breakfast. I get dressed and hair done.
7.45 - get children dressed and try to leave for 8am
8.15 - drop them to my minder and off to work for 9am
5.20 - collect children from my minder and go home
5.45 - put a batch-cooked dinner on to cook
6.15 - feed kids, tidy kitchen, prepare dinner for me and my husband
6.40 - husband arrives and takes children for bath, I make lunches for following day.
7.15 - children go to bed with story, me and husband have showers
7.30 - put washing on, hoover if needed, get washing off line etc
8.00 - eat dinner
8.30 - ironing (if needed), batch cooking and a million other things before we flop into bed at 10.30ish.

I do all my ironing while my son naps on Saturday and the rest of the housework on Sunday morning while my husband takes the kids out for 90 mins or so.

Its a constant battle to keep things tidy but I'd love to have a home where I'm not constantly worried that an unexpected visitor is going to arrive! I tried flylady but that just drove me insane with all the emails.

gratefulforhelp_2

Donna first up, be gentle on yourself. Second, it will get easier very quickly. Third, it will never all be perfect so don't expect it to be.

I'm working full time with a 7 and a 3 year old. Its got a lot easier in the last year.
Do try flylady here, no emails!

No time to post more, as have to run a committee meeting with 12 year olds!

Huge good luck.

mm123

Hi I work shift and its a nightmare as i work different days each week, i have a 14 month and 3.5 year old and my house is so much work. I can clean my house on a Friday and be at work all weekend and on a Monday its trashed again as my OH just doesnt see the need for constant tidy. My issue goes back to my mother, i think, when i was wee my house was always a mess and i vowed i would keep a clean house. But its impossible i just have learned to life with it as i was spending all my time constantly tidying. I do a big tidy at night when the kids are in bed, and try and sit down by 9. I batch cook, get the kids to help tidy and get shopping delivered. I think was women was justry too hard to do everything, we are all the same if that makes you feel better - you are not superwoman relax sometimes...

angie_baby

ha, you have a routine, your doing better than me!

suppose my days mon to fri go like this

5.00am up coffee / get dressed / make sure DS has had breakie / try and empty washing machine / more coffee

5.50am drop DS off at CM and go to work for 6.30

6.30 - 5 at work

get DS and go home

6PM Dinner / homework / washing up / book for DS

7.30PM DS goes to bed

7.30 and after im ment to do housework, but to be honest im shattered so will do bare minium until Sat morning when i spend an hour or two going cleaning mad. Ive given up on having a spotless home i cant manage it even though the place is all neat and tidy on a Monday but friday its gone to pot

DueMarch11

Hi,

I dont work full time, 30 hours a week which may aswell be fulltime and I only have one DD but due another little one next March. Our house is hardly tidy, but it is clean. I figure that one day the kids will grow up and move out, and thats when I'll have a tidy house, but for now I would rather enjoy the little time I have with DD. Any visitors we get know that we both work and so dont expect our house to be perfect and I would never judge anyones house for being a little untidy either.

As they say, a little bit of untidyness shows a lived in home. No clutter just represents a house.

Or something like that anyway! I say take it easy, youre doing your best and no one can expect anymore than that xxx

donnaessex

Sorry i'm on my phone now so cant reply properly but thanks to all so far. Will read properly when i get home tonight. Cheers!

chocomonsta

Hi Donnaessex

the things your children wil remember in the future is the fun and good times that you have had together not if the house was immaculate! It sounds like you are doing better than ok. The early years are gone in a flash and very hectic. Things do slow up slightly when the children are slightly older.

Here am I with my son now 20 and I am wishing I could do it all over again, with the benefit of hindsight!

Try and get clothes ready on hangers the night before, yours and the childrens.

When you cook try and double up, say cook 2 lasagnes one for the freezer and one for now, etc

Have all bags ready to go the night before, place them at the front door ready to go, with keys, and anything you need for that day.

I am following flylady and yes you do get a lot of emails but delete the ones you don't want/ need to read. It definately helps, could you access them in your dinner time?

Good Luck and make sure you have a little 'me' time a happy mum makes a happy home

JodyBPM

Your day sounds very similar to mine! I'm lucky that I only work P/T, but working days are mad!

LIke you my DH leaves early and gets back late, so I have to do a lot of stuff on my own. It's hard, but DH does all he can to help me in the evenings.

Things that we do differently to you are:
1. DH wakes the children before he leaves (he leaves at 6.45, so much later than yours), he also preps their clothes the night before, and so gives them a pile of clothes each, and they are getting themselves dressed as I come downstairs.(DH also wakes me at 6.45!) Children are 4 and 5, so can dress themselves, but just need hurrying along etc. I also leave cereal out on the dining room table the night before, so children can have breakfast by themselves whilst I do other jobs.
2. DH does the packed lunches in the evening
3. We all have dinner together where possible. DH is home just after 6, so as long as I have prepared it in advance, or am having an easy meal, its OK to squeeze in eating together. This clears up a lot of time in the evening as I don't have to cook twice, or clear up twice! Its the children's "pocket money job" to lay the table whilst I'm cooking and to load the dishwasher after dinner!
4. No baths for the children on the days I work - luckily only 2 days a week! They survive fine with a quick wash down a couple of nights a week
5. A load of washing gets put on every night, and pegged out in the morning, so it never builds up!
6. I don't iron. ever. DH does a big bundle of work shirts about once a fortnight, and whilst he's doing that I chuck him anything that definately needs ironing, but most things are fine if you give them a good shake before hanging on the line and then fold them up neatly!

Good luck! Its really hard work, but it gradually gets easier as they get older, and they do learn to be more independent! I'm often amazed at the number of children of my childrens age who can't do simple things like dress themselves, brush their own hair, pour milk on cereal or make their own beds!

gratefulforhelp_2

Having groceries delivered really helps. Also things like getting a wash on while the smalls are having dinner, prepping your dinner while doing theirs.

I heartily agree with all those who say just enjoy them while they're small, and other people's opinions don't matter.

My MIL is deeply disapproving of 1. state of house and 2. DH doing his share.
That was fine for her, she had no job, and a nanny/cleaner but for me I'm not going to work full time and do it all at home too. Fortunately she hasn't spoiled DH.

heretolearn_2

No offence but why isn't your husband doing his share of stuff in the evenings and weekends? He basically does one hour a day extra 'work' than you by leaving earlier, but then you more than make up for that in the evenings by doing the housework. Why can't you and he have a big blitz together at the weekends and never mind doing it during the week? It looks like all he does is 'work' and then funtime with the kids, no housework at all. You are doing a lot more than he does.

Your weekdays could be about the same - ok, he leaves earlier than you, but your pre-work routine is a darn sight harder and more stressful. Then in the evenings you are sorting kids and dinner till he gets home, you all (kids as well) eat dinner then (why are you cooking twice for goodness sake?!), he does kids bath while you make tomorrows lunches, kids to bed, you both relax. Don't worry about hoovering etc during the week, why bother? Washing and ironing can be done as a big blitz at weekend (I hope he does his own and part of the kids ironing?)

That way you both get to chill out, life if better all round even if there may be a smattering of crumbs on the carpet sometimes.

Then at weekends you both have a mega blitz. With two of you it can't take more than a couple of hours to clean the house top to toe, surely. Laundry - the two of you keep chucking the week's loads in over the weekend. Ironing, have a session Sunday eve, you for an hour, him for an hour, while you are watching tv or something and the other one plays with the kids, you'll get the whole week's stuff done ready.

Really, he isn't pulling his weight, is he.

Pee

Very interested in the replies. As a working non- mother just reading what you do makes me feel tired, and my place is never tidy either!