Full time working mums input please!

Spendless

mikey72 wrote: »

So what's your point.
Get a cleaner/housemaid for a few hours.

My point is when someone suggests that the OP's husband gives a hand with the daily chores, which from her list says that husband gets up goes to work comes in and baths the kids whilst she does the rest and also having a f-time job you come along and say what about the husband running the car to be MOT'd (annual) and cutting the grass (seasonal) and clearing drains (once in a blue flood), if he indeed does these things, which in our house, no mine doesn't. It is not unreasonable to ask her husband to do some daily chores as well as.

moggitymog

I too work full time, mon-fri 9-5, never have time for anything, I do a huge online shop once a month and then top up with fresh stuff at weekend. I have recently got a cleaner, best thing ever and the money it costs I have taken out of the shopping budget which is easier to do now I shop online

gratefulforhelp_2

mikey72 wrote: »

I thought she wanted some practical suggestions as well.

"Really, he isn't pulling his weight, is he. "

Doesn't seem a practical suggestion.
So you'll have to forgive me if I come across as someone who thinks males are being attacked, as for the life of me I can't really see how the op could put that into use to help her.
She could start a fight with her op by quoting it, but as to any other practical use?
Maybe I'm missing something here.

Counting_pennies, is an example of an excellent post, not critical, but helpful, and advising to find time together which is still essential.

No, you are right about that not being a practical suggestion, but it is as valid a point of view as any, surely?
And obviously we don't want the op to start a fight with her DH.

penguin83

OH and I both work full time. He does nights and I do days so we can fit in picking up and dropping of kids between us (both in different schools). I tend to do everything of an evening because I am fit for nothing in the morning. I sort the kids out when I get home and after they have gone to bed at 8pm I do a bit of housework, studying (law degree) and get everything ready for the morning. Housework gets done properly(ish) at the weekend. xxx

msb5262

I agree with most of the (relevant to the thread) posts above...your working week sounds like a military campaign, and the answer is to cut some corners.

Less bathing of children, less ironing, less meals cooked (ie. some evenings serve one meal to the whole family at the same time, some evenings buy something very simple or ready-prepared); more preparation in advance (make and freeze sandwiches for packed lunches, set out clothes and pack bags for the next day).

Also lower your standards where possible - how much tidying does the kitchen need? How much cleaning is essential? Do you all need totally clean clothes every day?
Try to compromise a little and you may find life is a lot easier...you should be enjoying your family rather than worrying about someone coming round to inspect the house!

When your kids are older, they won't remember if the house was spotless but they will certainly remember if you were too tired to cuddle them and read a story. Think on that!

Best wishes
MsB

portsmouthali

I am in the same boat. Feel guilty for working full-time as I know my son does not get the best of me, but really have no choice. My routine goes like this:

Up at 5.45. Breakfast for me.

6.30 Son gets up, has shower & gets dressed (He's 8) Give him breakfast.

6.40 OH gets up, stumbles into shower. We briefly speak about the day ahead (well I speak, he mumbles)

6.50 I leave for work. OH reads with our son, gets him ready & drops him at school.

17.00 Pick son up from childminder.

17.15 Get home, cook dinner (sometime something batch cooked, sometime something quite rubbish like pizza)

18.00 OH gets home, he eat while our son does his homework.

18.30 OH normally washes up (unless he works late, in which case I do it so that OH can spend time with our son)

19.00 We all sit down together to talk about our day and watch a bit of Spongebob

19.30 Son goes to bed. OH & I alternate reading story. I sort out school uniform for next day.

20.00 Son's packed lunch for next day. Miniscule amount of housework, ironing if necessary. Majority of housework done at weekend.

21.00 sit down.

22.30/23.00: Lovely bed.

My OH does not do massive amounts of housework, but as well as working full time is also studying to be a chartered accountant, so I don't nag him too much. He's a great dad and spends as much time as possible with our boy.

It's so hard and most of the time I'm exhausted. I wish I could work part-time I think working mums deserve a medal!

coco1980

you are way more organised than me, we do not have a routine and ironing is done as needed:o I refuse to stand at an ironing board for an hour or so when it is time I can be spending with my ds catching up on his day. I try and batch cook at weekends to save cooking time during week but have a supply of pizza in fridge for when this is not poss

Rainey_LB

Oh, I know the feeling, I can just never keep up, I have 2 part-time jobs, one is Monday to Friday 09.00-13.00, the other is evenings 18.00-23.00 different evenings each week on a 4 week rolling rota but work most weekends.

My intention is to always do the house work when I get in at 1.30pm -3.00pm when I have to pick the kids up.....in reality if I have worked both jobs for a few days, I end up having a nap instead before picking the kids up.

My day can often be

06.30 OH Goes to work
07.00 I get up and wake the kids, we all wash & dress (I hang the kids a complete set of uniform on a hanger including undies the night before)
07.30 make kids lunches & last check of school bags
07.50 leave house
08.00 drop kids at school for breakfast club and head straight to work
13.30 get home from work - I should have some lunch then do housework now......but sometimes I sleep!!
15.15 pick kids up from school, do reading books, home work etc
16.30 have dinner (we all have the same - no time to be fussy, always try to plan a day in advance)
17.00 make sure uniform etc ready for morning
17.30 OH gets home to take over, he will have his dinner which is normally left in the oven, the spend some time with the kids before bathing and putting them to bed at 20.00
18.00 head back to work
23.30 get home have a cup of tea and 10 minutes to myself to unwind.....sometimes do some housework!!
24.30ish bed

I have most Saturday/Sunday days until 18.00 free so I do as much as I can then, however as long as the house is clean I try to never put housework before spending time with the kids, they are growing up so quickly I don't want to waste a single moment. The morning job is term-time only so house gets a blitz about once every 6 weeks to catch up on what's slipped.

.........break over....back to work!!

LilacPixie

Both me and OH work full time. I have no routine house currently looks like a bomb has ht it because I am too exhausted to do anything about it. OH used to claim we shared things equally where as I always felt I did more and now I am out of action for the most part I think he is agreeing.

I have given up ironing, slow cooker meals prepped in the morning are figuring more and more in our diet as is pasta and rice dishes.

I think you need to realise you are not super human and something has to give so for me I lowered the standards of neatness I found acceptable in my house or i would of drove myself mad

mookiandco

My usual day is:

6:00am - Little madam wakes
6:00am - 7:00am - Mummy and little madam have cuddles on the sofa (ie mummy goes back to sleep and little madam dozes on top of mummy)
7:00am - 8:00am - Mummy gets dressed (daddy watches little madam), mummy gets little madam dressed, breakfast for all then out the door! Mummy and daddy work at the same place so leave together most days!
8:10am - little madam dropped off at childminders (cue lots of waving, blowing kisses, mummy looking sad, little madam looking very happy!)
9:00am - Work, work and more work.
5:40pm - collect little madam from childminders (cue mummy looking very happy, little madam looking cross to have playtime disrupted!)
6:00pm - Home Sweet Home - everyone crashes on the sofa apart from little madam who goes back to playing.
6:15pm - mummy cooks dinner (something simple - jacket potato, pasta, salmon, cheese on toast, chicken fillets and veg - I bow down to my george foreman grill!!)
7:00pm - mummy and daddy watch tv and play with little madam.
7:45pm - book, bath (every other day usually but we dont mind a little bit of dirt here!) and teeth brush.
8:00pm - little madam goes to bed
11:30pm - daddy goes to bed
2:30am ish- mummy goes to bed ( I dont need much sleep)!

Chores are done for a couple of hours at weekends. If they are not done, who cares no-one keeled over from a little bit of dust! My time with little madam (and OH) is far more precious.