Feeling very blue

The_Tax_Mans_Cash_Machine

Toomuchdebt wrote:

I don't agree ...£12 to me is almost half a week's shopping for me and my kids-I'm afraid I couldn't overlook that,and neither should the OP.

So you value your friends at less than £12 each?

Personally I think friends are invaluable. As I also pointed out, friendship is a two way thing, so although friend 1 may be in the wrong, friend 2 should be forgiving - otherwise it's not really friendship.

Toomuchdebt

No I value my kids health and needs more than my friends-if I had overlooked £12 we would be going short on food for the week and that's not fair on my children.My family comes first,then come my friends.I would forgive the friend for trying to con me out of £12 but I wouldn't overlook it.

The_Tax_Mans_Cash_Machine

Toomuchdebt wrote:

No I value my kids health and needs more than my friends-if I had overlooked £12 we would be going short on food for the week and that's not fair on my children.My family comes first,then come my friends.I would forgive the friend for trying to con me out of £12 but I wouldn't overlook it.

So what weren't you agreeing with in your first post?

You disagreed with my statement about not falling out with someone over £12, now you're agreeing that you'd have forgiven them. My point was that falling out with them, returning their belongings, & barring their calls & emails is excessive.

liberty23

The_Tax_Mans_Cash_Machine wrote:

So you value your friends at less than £12 each?

Personally I think friends are invaluable. As I also pointed out, friendship is a two way thing, so although friend 1 may be in the wrong, friend 2 should be forgiving - otherwise it's not really friendship.

TRUE friends are invaluable. Friends who steal from you when they know you are in a bad financial position are not friends at all. They are 'klingons' (will stick around whilst they get what they want, then split when the going gets rough). The OP confronted this 'friend' and she denied everything even when presented with proof. If it was just a mistake, a true friend would have apologised and offered the money back. This friend (in true klingon style) went off in a huff and then retaliated at getting caught out.

£12 might not seem like a lot of money to you, but to someone with NO money it can be the difference between eating and going hungry.

I'm not having a go, it's just a similar thing happened to me not long ago and I know how much that kind of betrayal hurts. The only good thing about hitting rock bottom is that the klingons get jolted off

liberty23

The_Tax_Mans_Cash_Machine wrote:

My point was that falling out with them, returning their belongings, & barring their calls & emails is excessive.

If you re-read the OP's posts, you will see that the 'friend' demanded the return of her belongings, tried to extort money for belongings that hadn't even been left at the OP's house and the OP was forced to barr their calls and e-mails as they were abusive. I don't feel the OP's response is excessive in the slightest.

MrsTinks

Whoa peeps Sure this wasn't an argument about the cost of friendship was it?

Unix hun I RUN a technical support team, came from a hardware engineer background and no official qualification and if I can do it then you can do it too

Leave the BF alone - when he sorts his head out he'll either be back or not Right now running after him will just push him further away.

Chin up girly and know that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger I used to be a timid little mouse with my first fiance and thanks to him I decided I'd never let that happen again and I am now a very strong and independant person. I rarely get phased by things life throw at me - infact I sem to end up as the one everyone else asks for help That would have never happened 3-4 years ago Life gives us oppertunerties to learn and grow, look at all the things you see as horrible and instead see them as "tests" that life is giving you. Each one will have a reward you can only appriciate afterwards - Life will always throw things at you and if you see each as a test with a reward then they become easier and easier as time passes.

liberty23

tine wrote:

Whoa peeps Sure this wasn't an argument about the cost of friendship was it?

Lol, you're totally right!

To Unixgirl, you hang on in there. I haven't really got anything to add to the wonderful posts already done, except 'what goes around, comes around'. You stay positive and things will turn around for you.

rose07

hi unixgirluk

dont usually drift this way but your post stuck out to me.

how are you feeling today?

what is the situation about your job? if they are making redundancies then are you going to look for a job elsewhere.

i hope your health improves hun, can be such a dampner on things if your a energetic person and you end up hindered because of health issues.
as for you bf, give him some time, some space and be kind to yourself.
the phone calls sound scary, and i was wondering if you have reported it.??

oh and can people stop argueing please, im sick of threads turning into arguements when someone just needs some moral support.

as for the wedding....bring a friend with you, (they may all be pre occupied but isnt that what friends are for?) you dont need to bring your bf with you, do you, if he has made it clear where you both stand then the best thing you can do is try and hold your head high and move on.
i know its hard hun, but its all about being strong.

hope this helps and you can get through each day feeling a little better
if ya ever need to just chat or have a moan give me a pm.
((((((((((BIG HUGs)))))))))))
xxx

Uniscots97

Morning all, feeling very tired this morning. The fall out of the friendship was more than just the £12. She wouldn't let me see the ticket to see how much she'd paid for it. Why? I did ask her if she was having money problems and she said no. I bailed her out last year when she didn't have anywhere to go and let her stay with me rent and bill free. When she finally got a flat I took a week off work and painted it for her and fixed the security door. Its not just about the £12 its the fact she lied to me and then tried to extort money from me and didn't support me when I needed and just gloated. I had been warned about her but I'm afraid I want to see the good in everyone. As for my boss, I have been to a counsellor and they have emails etc from my work and agree with me that he's a bully. Other people have now reported him for the same offence. So I'm not imagining it. Going back to the friend thing, if she had been upfront with me or even come back and apologised I would have forgiven her. Had call last night from friend of bf who says he's tried to call me but bottled out.

yenom_2

I hope that life turns round for you, altho I do believe that it is only you who can turn it round and noone else, first things first is the sadness, moods, I dont especially agree with anti depressants long term- if at all, but just to get u out of the initial rut. You will get much more confidence and self esteem. Multi vitamins aswell- can not beat good food to make you feel energised ans supplements.

The friend- it is a two way thing, have you asked her why she did that? could be a reasonable explanation? noone is out to get you, it comes across this is how you feel- why would they be??

Redundancy can be a positive thing- you get lots of money- (hopefully) and get away from the job/peole that you dont like? it forces you out of your comfort zone to get a diff job or do something that you always wanted to do

sorry for the rant.