Feeling very blue

Uniscots97

Hi all, pretty new to this. Hoping for some moral support more than anything as my life just seems to get worse. Anything that could go wrong has.

Work is awful (they're making loads of redundancies and my boss....well thats another story).

My boyfriend took cold feet and left. I really love him, tried contacting him but nothing yet.

My health has taken a nose dive. After spending three months in plaster (an accident earlier in the year), I fell again and have damaged my shoulder. I keep getting any cold/flu that is going round and am constantly tired. Yet the doctor keeps fobbing me off.

One of my so-called friends tried to con me out of money for concert tickets (she said the ticket was £51 and I found out it only cost her £39). Then slagged me off about my boyfriend getting cold feet.

Someone (and I have my suspicions who) pinched bits off the wheels of my car (while it was in my driveway!!!!!!) then tried to make it look like someone was trying to break into my car (lots of damage done). This happened in broad daylight and in the space of 30 minutes while I was walking the dog. Yet my neighbour who was working on their garden saw nothing...........not sure I believe them.

Started getting lots with-held number calls and weird texts (one of my friends thinks its my bf trying to see if I have moved on and trying to come back). Had 12 from the same number on saturday. I don't give out my mobile number to surveys etc.

My debt was going down till all of this happened and what with medical bills/transportation costs/repair bills I have added about at another 3K onto my debt. :eek:

I just want to cry all the time, even when I think I'm doing the right thing I seem to get kicked in the teeth. Handed a voucher I found at work into lost and found (they suggested I should have kept it.......was appalled. Don't care how much debt I have or haven't got it would be stealing to keep something that wasn't mine), then went out to the car and dropped contents of my handbag over car park floor. Everything survived except my compact. It smashed. Can't really afford to replace it. Have wedding to go to just under 2 weeks. Bf's name is on invite as well. Don't really want to go on my own but have already heard the whispers about me being on my own again (got shot of last long term bf as he was cheating on me and only wanted to marry me to pay off his debt). Can't really turn to my friends as they are having their own serious problems (one has a funeral to attend today, her son's best friend was killed).

Why is it those who really don't deserve it seem to get everything they want?

All that would make me happy at the moment is to be in a job without the constant threat of redundancy (cannot really afford to walk away from this one without redundancy as it would totally clear my debt); my boyfriend to get in touch and my health improve.

Sorry for the moan but had to talk to someone. Sitting here in tears.

Toomuchdebt

not got any words of advice but huge hugs to you-things have to get better for you...

moozie_2

Oh hun I am sorry :grouphug:

I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better. You sound so low and you've got so much on at the moment. Give your OH some time, if he's right for you, he will come back.

Just know I am thinking of you and hope things start looking up soon. As for your doctor, maybe it's time for a change as you sound like you could use a little extra support right now!

lynzpower

Oh honey pie

Sending you a massive hug.

Why is it those who really don't deserve it seem to get everything they want?

they dont, in the end, its called Karma.

God, I know what the down days are like ( hang around here long enough, youll see plenty of threads started by yours truly about how Ive had enough and I just want something good to happen). The good thing is that plenty of people who dont "know" me will support me, and the same will happen to you too

Take a look at my sig, change the things you can, leave the things you cant, have the wisdom to know the difference if you can try and think, what can I change here. Yes, it does sound like you are going through a carp time, I can fully understand how you must feel, and quite rightly too. If you can think about things slightly differently, it can give some respite.

1. THE BF.
I would say, leave the BF alone. Dont waste your time, energy and texts chasing him. Maybe one last voicemail to say, look balls in your court, what do you want to do? this is the last time Im bothering to contact you, if you dont have the decency to contact me back then fine. Whatever. You have more important things to do than be ignored. So take your energy elsewhere is my advice.

2. YOUR MATES
If you have the sort of freinds who will slag you down for not putting up with cheating bfs then. no offence with freinds like that who needs enemies. My mates would be patting me on the back & saying well done for getting rid.
There is no shame in being an independent woman who knows when she deserves better, please remember that. If your mates dont know that then, well , they may well realise the errors of thier thinking when they get shat on from a great height.

the one who tried to scam you out of money, whats happening there? You still speaking? Did you tell them you twigged? Maybe they are having financial probs too, maybe it was a genuine mistake, maybe they are a rubbish person. Only you can make that assessment, and once you have, a decision on how to proceed.

All that would make me happy at the moment is to be in a job without the constant threat of redundancy (cannot really afford to walk away from this one without redundancy as it would totally clear my debt); my boyfriend to get in touch and my health improve.

Redundancys never nice when its hanging about, but what CAN you do to proof yourself if the worst happens? Could you get a second job so at least you wouldhnt be in the poop? HAve you researched what your rights would be if you DID get laid off. You havnet been redundant YET and you might survive it. So dont overly worry about it, the only thing you can do is prepare yourself for the worst.

RE YOUR CAR
did you report it to the police? Can you claim it off your insurance???

Health wise- its my biggest wish too. BUT You can only do what you can do. If your GPS pants, write to the practice manager and complain & get a new GP, you dont have to have crap healthcare. What are YOU doing to get betteR? light excercise, hows the diet, what about calming music, meditations anything like that.


re your compact, sounds liike the proverbial straw breaking the camels back, its amazing how the tiny things can bring the whole house of cards crashing down. on the plus side, it was only your compact that went awol, you could have dropped your whole bag down a grid or worse, so try to gain a bit of perpective THEN Raid your copper jar, or what about boots points? or clubcard points should be coming through the door soon? I use a boots compact and its only about 3.50 scrabble around and find the money for another, no point martyring about it, but dont go to Chanel for one! go DFW on it!

JUst a few thoughts, look after yourself, and sod everyone else!

lil'H

Oh babe, really feel for you, hang in there things have a way of picking back up, and I think your right to stay at your job, especially if the redundency pay could shift your debts. As soon as you can go and get some sleep, or go for a walk, just do something to take you away from it all for half an hour I hate the thought of you (despite not actually knowing you) sitting at your computer in tears.

Loads of hugs from me,
Lil'H

ex_catastrophe

This is my first post......but when i read ur post i had to send you my sympathies. I don't have any great words of advice....I have just left my job due to ill health and found out they are now making some of my friends redundant. I know how you feel in wanting a secure job and your health.
I hope things improve soon.

Smashing

Never rains but pours eh? Sorry to hear things are so cack right now. One thing I would say is to change your GP - you deserve to have someone who will listen and take you seriously.

Be kind to yourself right now - we all need a little TLC now and then.
Do you have someone nearby who you can talk to? Spend time with to get yourself away from it all for a short while?

Don't apologise for 'moaning' we're hear to listen and help if we possibly can.

ZTD

unixgirluk wrote:

Hi all, pretty new to this. Hoping for some moral support more than anything as my life just seems to get worse. Anything that could go wrong has.

Work is awful (they're making loads of redundancies

Have you looked around for other work/contracting? It might be good for your peace of mind to know that you have a Plan B if the black spot arrives.

unixgirluk wrote:

and my boss....well thats another story).

Is this just a temporary blip due to being under pressure or do you have a bullying boss?

unixgirluk wrote:

My boyfriend took cold feet and left. I really love him, tried contacting him but nothing yet.

That depends on the kind of people you both are. If he ran because you've been "suffocating" him, then chasing after him isn't going to improve that. Let him know how you feel (not in excruciating detail, but enough for him to know) then leave it. If he feels he's not under pressure, then he may be more likely to make contact.

unixgirluk wrote:

My health has taken a nose dive. After spending three months in plaster (an accident earlier in the year), I fell again and have damaged my shoulder.

Are you clumbsy by nature, or have you been getting clumsier lately?

unixgirluk wrote:

I keep getting any cold/flu that is going round and am constantly tired. Yet the doctor keeps fobbing me off.

They do. If he's in a multi-doctor practice, try seeing another. It could be just "run-down"ness, but it's best to be sure.

unixgirluk wrote:

One of my so-called friends tried to con me out of money for concert tickets (she said the ticket was £51 and I found out it only cost her £39). Then slagged me off about my boyfriend getting cold feet.

Are you sure they'll never find the body?

unixgirluk wrote:

Someone (and I have my suspicions who) pinched bits off the wheels of my car (while it was in my driveway!!!!!!) then tried to make it look like someone was trying to break into my car (lots of damage done). This happened in broad daylight and in the space of 30 minutes while I was walking the dog. Yet my neighbour who was working on their garden saw nothing...........not sure I believe them.

You live in a loverly area. When looking at Plan B, you might want to look and see if there is somewhere else you want to live.

unixgirluk wrote:

Started getting lots with-held number calls and weird texts (one of my friends thinks its my bf trying to see if I have moved on and trying to come back). Had 12 from the same number on saturday. I don't give out my mobile number to surveys etc.

It's possible it is your xbf. If they are causing distress, contact your mobile provider and get the number blocked. Even the withheld one (you can't see it, but they can).

unixgirluk wrote:

My debt was going down till all of this happened and what with medical bills/transportation costs/repair bills I have added about at another 3K onto my debt. :eek:

I just want to cry all the time, even when I think I'm doing the right thing I seem to get kicked in the teeth.

When you're down, the world often does seem to be against you - and kicking.

unixgirluk wrote:

dropped contents of my handbag over car park floor. Everything survived except my compact. It smashed. Can't really afford to replace it.

Repair it. Superglue (be very VERY careful) or epoxy resin.

unixgirluk wrote:

Have wedding to go to just under 2 weeks. Bf's name is on invite as well. Don't really want to go on my own but have already heard the whispers about me being on my own again

Take someone only if you want to. Either a brother (if you have one), a John Inman type, or just someone who fancies a bit of a buffet. Ignore the whispers. I know it's hard, but you have own life to lead, not a life at the command of hushed voices.

unixgirluk wrote:

Can't really turn to my friends as they are having their own serious problems (one has a funeral to attend today, her son's best friend was killed).

That doesn't matter. It's a mutual support thing. You cry on their shoulder, they cry on yours, and you both go home happier. Yes I know it's weird, but that's how it is. All you both need to do is both talk and listen.

unixgirluk wrote:

Why is it those who really don't deserve it seem to get everything they want?

Don't live your life jealous of others. Every dog has its day, and if you live your life by doing things that you know are right, you will have a long fine day.

unixgirluk wrote:

All that would make me happy at the moment is to be in a job without the constant threat of redundancy (cannot really afford to walk away from this one without redundancy as it would totally clear my debt); my boyfriend to get in touch and my health improve.

Here's hoping.

unixgirluk wrote:

Sorry for the moan but had to talk to someone. Sitting here in tears.

Don't. Try to get outside. The fresh air and light will make you feel so much better.

Uniscots97

lynzpower wrote:

Oh honey pie


2. YOUR MATES
If you have the sort of freinds who will slag you down for not putting up with cheating bfs then. no offence with freinds like that who needs enemies. My mates would be patting me on the back & saying well done for getting rid.
There is no shame in being an independent woman who knows when she deserves better, please remember that. If your mates dont know that then, well , they may well realise the errors of thier thinking when they get shat on from a great height.

the one who tried to scam you out of money, whats happening there? You still speaking? Did you tell them you twigged? Maybe they are having financial probs too, maybe it was a genuine mistake, maybe they are a rubbish person. Only you can make that assessment, and once you have, a decision on how to proceed.



Hope I get this right as its the first time I've quoted someone in a posting. Thanks Lynzpower.Yes I did tackle the friend who tried to over-charge me for the concert ticket. Told her if she was skint all she had to do was say. It got quite nasty (she claimed she hadn't overcharged me even though I had an email from the ticket company telling me how much the tickets were) and I told her if she wasn't going to support me I didn't need her as a freind anymore. She asked for some books and dvd's that she'd left at mine (I put her up rent-free while she got herself back on her feet and got her flat liveable). I gave her everything back, she then turned round and demanded I give her back a dvd boxset that she said she'd left at mine. Told her I'd hunted round the house and what I gave her was all I had. She then said she wanted me to replace it as she thought she'd definitely left it at my house. Good job I keep all my emails, found an email from a few months previous saying she'd lent it out to someone. Forwarded her the email and didn't even get an apology. Nice eh? Have nothing to do with her now and have blocked her email and calls.

As for the boyfriend, well take too long to explain here. He's suffered quite a lot in the past. Am pretty certain the hang up calls and weird texts are him.

I know what you're saying about using my Boots points to treat myself. Thing is I used them to buy all bf's and my holiday stuff (suntan lotion etc) just before he got cold feet. The holiday was cancelled and I was left with a drawer full of suntan lotion etc. At the time of getting them was feeling pretty good that I had bought them without spending a single penny.

I have got a second job. Landed on my feet with that one. I can work the hours I want from home, when I feel up to it. It pays well but haven't felt awake enough or well enough to do many hours. The original reason behind starting that job was to eat away at my debt so bf and I could have a debt free life by the time we were thinking about settling down.

Beanietdc

I just got a load of points on my Boots card due to having a voucher for points with photo processing and having 5 films to hand in.

Let me know if you still need a new compact - I would happily spend some points to give a small bit of sunshine to your day.

Uniscots97

Sorry Lynzpower messed up my reply to you. Haven't gotten the hang of the quoting in the reply thing yet.