Problem with my son being bullied in reception year

pigpen

PolishBigSpender wrote: »

No, instead of all these "Talk to the head" tales, do the logical thing and teach your son to hit him twice as hard back. If he does this every single time the bully touches him, the bully will soon learn

(I'd suggest also telling the son to flush the bully's head down the toilet)

And the child that is being bullied is tarnished as another bully and thinks it isok to hit anyone who even so much as lightly brushes them as they walk by..

The child hitting back in retaliation is often punished twice as severely as the one who lashed out originally.

Great idea..

I've found the trouble is more likely to occur at lunchtime because the supervisors have less authority in the eyes of the children and usually their answer is 'stay away'.. though it is impossible in an enclosed playground.

I agree that teachers should be accountable for the bullying in their class.. they must be able to see what is going on and hear what is being said and if you repeatedly have children coming saying the same child has hurt them it kind of stands to reason.. It is almost like they don't really care that half the class are being hurt each day by one child.. amd it pee's me off even more when they say 'oh Bully has a troubled background/behavioural issues etc'.. if you KNOW about these issues surely it makes it worse to ignore it?! It is almost like giving them a green card to do as they please!

My daughter is 6 in November and there is no way she could write a letter of apology.. she wouldn't evenknow what I meant if I explained it I don't think.. though making a 'card' and drawing them a picture is a different matter entirely.. it doesn't have to be written words as children of this age are more visual learners this is probably more appropriate to their age and understanding.

milliebear00001

I do really sympathise with you, and would be furious and upset if my own child was being repeatedly targeted by a single child - this to me, is bullying, even if the children are too young to recognise its label. However, I am also a teacher, and this sort of situation is incredibly difficult to dela with to everyone's satisfaction.

Some children are incredibly difficult to motivate towards 'good' behaviour, and it sounds to me, as if the class teacher has indeed sanctioned this child. It sounds as if his parents have been involved also. There is a limit to what can be done. I am immediately thinking that if his parents can't impact on his behaviour, how do you expect a class teacher to? It's very hard to watch all the children all of the time. We often aren't with them in the playground (or if we are, there are many other children to keep an eye on also). We can't always keep children apart, when they are wandering about in the classroom as part of their daily learning.

I have children who have been kept in, given all manner of tedious punishments, been sent to other teachers, to the Head, parents brought in and spoken with, 'reward' systems introduced etc etc and it is water off a duck's back.

I would have the meeting with the Head, and stress how concerned you are at the repeated nature of the incidents. They should agree some sort of practical plan, but believe me, it still might not work entirely. Schools do their best, but the harsh reality is that we each have thirty children, and your child is only entitled to a 30th of our time, just as the bully is. Similarly harsh but true, 'toughening up' is a good lesson to teach your child. School life can be incredibly tough at times, and children who are robust and resilient do much better long term than those who let other children affect them too much. Sounds like your boy is doing well on this front - try not to undermine his very sensible approach with your own upset and anger.

PolishBigSpender

pigpen wrote: »

The child hitting back in retaliation is often punished twice as severely as the one who lashed out originally.

And the child shouldn't accept such punishment because - after all - if someone attacks you on the street, you're not going to stand there and accept it, are you?

After all, the best form of defence is attack. A bloody nose and a black eye and the bully problem will be sorted for 7 years

mum2one

We had exactly the same problem with dd when she was in reception class, we spoke to the teacher,who tried to say my daughter was a drama queen, she was coming home in bruises, I spoke to the head, who was as much use as a chocolate teapot, the schools answer was xx's mum is a single parent, thats no excuse, then they kept a record for 2 weeks, of what when on and any incidents, but they carried on in playtimes and when they had to queue up to go back to the class room he always stood behind her and pulled her hair, kicked her. I then took the matter out of the school hands and contacted the local schools advisor, (through the local council), they then took over, and said that the bullying had to stop, the child concerned was kept seperate in the class room, he still carried on bullying her, then he got suspended, some may say thats extreme, but when you have a child thats too scared to go to school, who had previously loved it, the lad was suspended twice, and then he went up another year, - to do with how the bdays fall.

You do need to speak to the head 1st, and allow them time to investage and deal with it, then you can involve the school goveners, but I would go down the council route, gets more done.

The schools got a new head (he's been there 18mths), he is strict, won't take any rubbish and clamps down as soon as theres a problem.

Good luck x

mountainofdebt

I'm wondering if the school will play for time, given how close the end of term is.