How do I get married?

Person_one

Pee wrote: »

I'm not suggesting one person's views are more important than anothers, just that it may be easier for someone who doesn't believe to compromise in this instance. That doesn't apply if they have different beliefs, of course. Although I have a friend who is Pagan and was happy to have a church wedding as the church was on an ancient Pagan site and therefore fitted in with his beliefs and his new wife's rather more traditional ones.

A 'non-belief' can be just as important to a person as a belief. I think its great how it worked out for your pagan friend though!

euronorris

Person_one wrote: »

A church is an awful lot more expensive than a registry office by the way, into the hundreds I think. You often have to attend the church for a number of weeks or months beforehand and have interviews with the vicar/priest.

Registry offices are the cheapest option, is there a way you can adapt the ceremony a bit to incorporate both of your views and ideas? Like writing your own vows? I don't know if registry offices let you but it might be a compromise if they do.

You're not wrong. Sis got married in the local church and it cost 800 GBP!

hngrymummy

We got maried in a church, and it was cheaper than the registry office, although I know that churches can be more expensive. The other advantage was that we didn't have a 'slot' so if there were problems and one of us was late (which he was) we were still able to get married and weren't told "sorry, you missed it"

I second the mid-week idea. It does make everything cheaper, and you're more likely to get a booking this side of 2012.

To get married you will need a licence and have your bans published. In some churches they will be read out, otherwise they will be put on a noticeboard in the registry office. It will need to be done in the parish in which you live, so if you don't live together, or have only been there a short time they will be published in more than 1 parish. Other than that you need either a registrar or a vicar who is able to act as a registrar, and 2 witnesses, and be in a licensed venue.

Rings, dresses, suits, flowers, reception, photographr, cars etc are all optional extras. Spend what you want on them.

sueeve

If you live in the parish,or have a history connected with the parish, you have a right to be married there. If you go for a Monday or Tuesday there should be flowers from the Sunday. You can do it just with the priest and 2 witnesses for a basic amount, or invite a few guests, which doesn't cost any extra. Put a nice dress on, one you will wear again, sort your partner into anything decent, wash the kids hands and face and off you go. If you are married by banns they take 3 weeks to be read out in church before the service can be held. This is C of E. Go in your own car; perhaps he might put it through the car wash first, then off you go, married.
As a priest I am much happier with the people who want to be married rather than thinking only of the wedding.
The priest will want a meeting to chat it through with you.
This is the basic. Then add anything you want and can afford. But my feeling in your situation is that it is about affirming the whole family as a unit, so you and the children are the people who matter.
PM me if you want any specific information

diable

Lots of other places are now licensed for weddings so you need to have a hunt around, hire a suit for the other half buy yourself a dress in the sales then just have a meal in a nice restaurant, needn't cost much especially as it seems more important to you to be married then for everyone else to eat well and get drunk.

Oh and if you do decide to go for it just ask for a financial donation instead of presents to help cushion the blow.

Person_one

diable wrote: »

Lots of other places are now licensed for weddings so you need to have a hunt around, hire a suit for the other half buy yourself a dress in the sales then just have a meal in a nice restaurant, needn't cost much especially as it seems more important to you to be married then for everyone else to eat well and get drunk.

Oh and if you do decide to go for it just ask for a financial donation instead of presents to help cushion the blow.

Nice. :eek:

Glad

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Lexxi

:wave: welcome to the wedding board!
I guess one of the first things to do would be give us an idea of when you would like to get married, then you and your partner can work out how much you can put away from now until then, and give us an idea of that total, which would be your budget, then we can go from there.
I'm not sure what to suggest with the difference of opinion on where to get married, me and OH were brought up different religions but he's happy to get married in a CofE church. I quite like the sound of a registry service then a church blessing, it sounds like a good compromise to me

Cookie_monster_7

Thanks for the welcome Lexxi.

We'd like to get married next year, maybe between June and Sept. We don't want to spend more than £3k-4k if that is possible.

I wouldn't mind getting married in a church if they can tone down the religious stuff.

We just want a small wedding with family and a few close friends. We really would love to do it abroad just the two of us, I really like the look of Greece but with 2 kids we'd have to take some people with us to babysit.

brownbabygirl

Cookie_monster wrote: »

I wouldn't mind getting married in a church if they can tone down the religious stuff.
.

:rotfl: :eek:Unbelievable. It might be easier to get married elsewhere dear