How do I get married?

Cookie_monster_7

My OH and me have children together and wish that we were married already but we forgot to do that bit first:o

I am not remotely interested in planning a wedding but I do want to get married to him so....

As cheaply as possible :money: what do we need to do to arrange a small wedding? We had wanted to go abroad but that's too complicated with young children and we wouldn't leave them behind.

I don't want anything tacky so I'm happy to keep it small and do without wedding cars etc.

The only sticking point we have is that he wants a religious ceremony and I don't! Not sure how to overcome that one. The other irritant is that he is so unromantic about it and his motivation is to "make right" our situation, whereas I am all about the romance! However we do both want to get married, any ideas mse'ers?

Littlemadam83

If you look over at Special Occasions there is a wedding board with people very similar to your wants and desires!

bryanb

You need to compromise with OH. Register office is probably cheapest.

floss2

Why not go for a simple midweek church service (low key for your OH & not too religious for you!) with your nearest & dearest there, and then have a celebration party at home the weekend after?

Evansangel

Cookie_monster wrote: »

The only sticking point we have is that he wants a religious ceremony and I don't! Not sure how to overcome that one.

Im not religious at all, so maybe you could say that it would be wrong for you to declare your vows in front of god, when you dont believe? Unless you do, then im not to sure

JokerDurden

How about registry office 1st (relatively cheap) and then having the marriage blessed in a church?

Pee

How strongly do you feel about not having it in church? If you just don't believe, but he does, I think it's rather nice that he wants to get married in a church.

Person_one

Pee wrote: »

How strongly do you feel about not having it in church? If you just don't believe, but he does, I think it's rather nice that he wants to get married in a church.

I'd hate it, as an atheist I'd feel like a complete fraud and hypocrite and would be cringing throughout! Maybe the OP feels the same way, I don't think his beliefs should be more important than hers.

Make-it-3

Equally, unless you hold strong anti-religion rules, why does it matter where you say your vows - if in your mind you are making those vows to him not god.

If you want a completely no-fuss event, then book a registry office and grab a couple of witnesses off the street - then just tell everyone afterwards. If you're looking for a small event to mark the ocassion I'm sure those on the wedding board will help.

Person_one

A church is an awful lot more expensive than a registry office by the way, into the hundreds I think. You often have to attend the church for a number of weeks or months beforehand and have interviews with the vicar/priest.

Registry offices are the cheapest option, is there a way you can adapt the ceremony a bit to incorporate both of your views and ideas? Like writing your own vows? I don't know if registry offices let you but it might be a compromise if they do.

Pee

Person_one wrote: »

I'd hate it, as an atheist I'd feel like a complete fraud and hypocrite and would be cringing throughout! Maybe the OP feels the same way, I don't think his beliefs should be more important than hers.

I'm not suggesting one person's views are more important than anothers, just that it may be easier for someone who doesn't believe to compromise in this instance. That doesn't apply if they have different beliefs, of course. Although I have a friend who is Pagan and was happy to have a church wedding as the church was on an ancient Pagan site and therefore fitted in with his beliefs and his new wife's rather more traditional ones.