Parents at war!

red_devil

Minxy_Bella wrote: »

In an ideal world, every estranged father would want to see their child(ren) as often as humanly possible.

Alas, we do not live in an ideal world.

The father of my children hasn't seen them for five years - he is seeing them this summer, however. Whoop de doop!

The OP is lucky in that she's got a regular night off every week. Some women, such as myself, aren't so lucky as to have even that.

It's all relative, isn't it?

nope she still isnt lucky its no more than you would expect. also the father should want to see the child for him not for doing her a favour. He would be seeing the child everyday if they lived together so whats different.

I dont think telling the poster she is lucky is going to help she dosent feel lucky.
I hate this expression lucky. Lucky is winning several competitions perhaps not for the ex seeing the child.:cool:

Minxy_Bella

red_devil wrote: »

nope she still isnt lucky its no more than you would expect. also the father should want to see the child for him not for doing her a favour. He would be seeing the child everyday if they lived together so whats different.

I dont think telling the poster she is lucky is going to help she dosent feel lucky.
I hate this expression lucky. Lucky is winning several competitions perhaps not for the ex seeing the child.:cool:

You're not reading what I'm saying. I've obviously touched a nerve with you and for that I'm sorry but I am perfectly entitled to my opinion based on my own experience and that of others who I know personally.

She may not feel lucky but her situation is, in my opinion.

We will have to agree to disagree, won't we?

red_devil

Minxy_Bella wrote: »

You're not reading what I'm saying. I've obviously touched a nerve with you and for that I'm sorry but I am perfectly entitled to my opinion based on my own experience and that of others who I know personally.

She may not feel lucky but her situation is, in my opinion.

We will have to agree to disagree, won't we?

It hasnt touched a nerve i am not currently in that situation. Its my opinion on whats lucky or whats not. If i win the lotto today then i am lucky. I would have felt put out if when i was a child and my parents had divorced to find out people thought my mother was lucky if my father wanted to see me.

When parents split up whats it got to do with wanting to see the children? You have the same responsibilty and why should your feelings towards your child change. Confused.com.

gratefulforhelp_2

clearingout wrote: »

it's amazing, isn't it? how we 'accept' that one parent has to manage having the children full time and be grateful for a few hours off, whilst the other can all but abandon the child and we're supposed to be grateful that they weren't totally abandonned? If I didn't look after my children properly, if I couldn't cope, Social Services would intervene wouldn't they? But my ex can walk out, go where he wants, do whatever he wants, and I'm supposed to be grateful for what he does do?

Something very, very wrong with our attitudes here....

sooo true. And minxybella I knew what you meant. You meant that however wrong the situation was, it could have been worse and is worse for many of us?

galvanizersbaby

red_devil wrote: »

It hasnt touched a nerve i am not currently in that situation. Its my opinion on whats lucky or whats not. If i win the lotto today then i am lucky. I would have felt put out if when i was a child and my parents had divorced to find out people thought my mother was lucky if my father wanted to see me.

When parents split up whats it got to do with wanting to see the children? You have the same responsibilty and why should your feelings towards your child change. Confused.com.

Yes I have to say RD I agree with you.

I think perhaps this thread has touched a nerve with others who are considering the OP lucky and I can see why tbh if a couple split up and one parent is absent and sadly doesn't wish to be a part of that childs life anymore
I would imagine it is very hard on the remaining parent (not to mention for the child!) - however while all people/situations are slightly different - the absent parent will have once been considered (in most cases) a decent enough human being to be a parent and produce children with - so sad and confusing that this seems to have been a misjudgement in so many cases

gratefulforhelp_2

very true.