Mum leaving Step-Dad

Sequeena

Fang wrote: »

I think it if was DV then the OP would've said that. I actually, reading between the lines, think that it's more a case of her mother marrying this working solvent man, who has given up work and is no longer bringing in a significant income but living off savings and therefore she's not being treated as she thinks she should be, and as a result is still working and now wants to move on and find her next [STRIKE]victim[/STRIKE] husband.

Well I hope that's not the case :eek:

julie03

hi inch high

my mum is going through the exact same thing at the moment, with a man who sounds just like your stepdad.

she has first gone to the council and because of her age (66) has managed to secure a sheltered accomadation flat this has taken her approx 6 months from start to finish but depending on where your mum lives this could be harder.

she is moving in next saturday and has had to borrow money from her mum to furnish the flat and help with rent while she sorts herself out.

her next step is to actually tell her hubbie she is moving out, which she is dreading as he is very unpredictable.

i do understand where people are coming from regarding money as i have told my mum she put nothing in the house and shouldnt expect much out, tho she is the one who does all the work regarding upkeep to the house. but saying that she got rid of a household of furniture and he purchased new stuff so nothing is her own anymore, so a small settlement would be beneficial even if to only pay her mum back for all the stuff she has to replace, she is starting again from stratch.

she has been to a couple of solicitors , one told her she was entitled to half and the other i thought was more realistic and told her she should get a small settlement, at the end of the day she went into a marriage expecting great things and gave up everything for that expectation, and was let down because he totally changed after they got married but its not gold digging.

i wish your mum good luck

Fang_3

Sequeena wrote: »

Well I hope that's not the case :eek:

I do. Especially as the OP left out the crucial information that his mother's council house went to him. So she hardly gave it up. In fact they bought it together.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/1003233

Running_Horse

Whose name is the mortgage in?

I mistakenly thought RTB discount went to the tenant, not their relatives.

I doubt the council will want to rehouse her now.

richardvc

Fang wrote: »

I think it if was DV then the OP would've said that. I actually, reading between the lines, think that it's more a case of her mother marrying this working solvent man, who has given up work and is no longer bringing in a significant income but living off savings and therefore she's not being treated as she thinks she should be, and as a result is still working and now wants to move on and find her next [STRIKE]victim[/STRIKE] husband.

That is an incredibly rude and judgemental post. You have jumped to conclusions just to stick the knife in.

The OP just wanted some advice, not a lecture about his mother. Cut him some slack.

It's a shame more people don't look out for their parents like that.

C'mon guys, this forum was set up to help people - wasn't it ?

inch_high

Julie and Richard, thanks for your support. It's a shame that this site throws up such negative responses from certain members.

Fang, you get an "A" for effort, but it's hardly crucial info is it. She was leaving the house to move in with him. I was in a position to take the house on, and as such she helped her son out by going joint names on the mortgage and allowing me to buy it.
Although she is technically joint owner, myself and GF pay the mortgage, there are two kids and a dog so having my mum move back to the house permanently isn't really an option.

Running Horse, you're right about the council, she would be looking to rent privately


For those that want to post more negative comments, don't bother, I'll be ignoring them.

mazza111

I think it is crucial info actually, the RTB scheme is for tenants not their families. This scheme has been abused in this way for years.

However, Good luck to yer mam, but as other posters have said, Shelter and a lawyer seem to be the way to go

tanith

I'm sure if things are that bad for your Mum you'd offer her shelter in what was after all her home originally . To know your Mum was safe and not worrying about a roof over her head should outweigh any temporary inconvenience surely.. She can then concentrate on sorting herself out financially and plan how she is going to house herself in the future but in an environment where she feels comfortable.

Idiophreak

inch_high wrote: »

Although she is technically joint owner, myself and GF pay the mortgage, there are two kids and a dog so having my mum move back to the house permanently isn't really an option.

Guess she could look at selling her share of the property, though - would help her get set up in her new place. Can you afford to buy her out?

Judith_W

So presumably the council won't re-home her because as far as they can see she owns a house - even if she is not living in it?

I think this should really be her main concern - not what money she can get out of him. I'm sure loads more people have left partners losing a lot more than what they put into it