Massive family problems

gratefulforhelp_2

OP is it worth checking with your home insurance whether you have legal cover?

Debt_PostingID

Thanks to everyone for the replies

Mutter wrote: »

OP, is the boy's surname change official? i.e agreed by his father? If it was it shows he at least is trusting you as the boy's dad.

Surname change is official - all done by deed poll. School and doctors have accepted the name change when we gave them copies of deed poll, so it is all official.
The nice one out of the two social workers thought this was a great idea, as my wife changed her name when we got married and it was felt that the name change would make the lad feel more as part of a family unit. We did give him the choice too, we outlined it to him and he chose to take my name.

Real dad isnt on birth certificate - he was too busy sleeping around to turn up to the registry office - so was left off the certificate. In Social's view, real dad has no parental responsibility because of being left off the certificate. They werent married either, so no rights that way either.

chloe99 wrote: »

You need to be very concerned here.

Under the normal course of events you do NOT have to allow your child to see their grandparents. the gps would have to go to court to try and get access enforced and even then it may well faiil.

So somthing funnt is going on. Based on what you have said, social should not be invovled in a case like this at all, it isn't their job to sort out bickering about gp access to children.

I wonder if you have misunderstood the severity of the social assessment they have made of you?

Why are they saying they would give residency to gps - this is only going to happen where the child has been removed from your wife's care ie is at risk of significant harm and they have taken child away.

in fact it all sounds so unlikely, and you seem to be taking it so lightly, that I am afraid I wonder if a) thread is made up or b) child is on the child protection register due to some other goings on in your home.

I apologise if ths is not the case, and if so, based on what you have said, you need to act quickly or you will lose the cihld.

I understand what you are saying, and I can guarantee that we are not making this up. We are treating this very serious, and this has caused us a lot of stress. Over all this, a few weeks back I ended up in hospital with chest pains. Spent ages in hospital to be told by the Doc I am suffering from severe stress.

I will talk to the social worker when she visits this coming week, to ask her again what we have been "assessed" as. Last we were told, last Thursday, is we are NOT a concern to the social and the lad is NOT on the child protection register. The social workers told us last week that they became involved over allegations that were made initially. Those same allegations that the police found to be false allegations. Social are now still in place, and passing our case to the "Long Term Team" so as to minimise stress to our son with regards to him being at the centre of all these arguments. However, I feel that Social have failed in that respect, and it proves the point when he comes home after the weekend contacts, crying his eyes out because he is, in effect, being emotionally blackmailed.

Make-it-3 wrote: »

As others have said, there is something wrong with this current situation, now assumming you haven't left anything pertinent out of your account, there is no way these grandparents should have the enforced access to this boy that they do.

And if social services are supporting the GP's claim for permanent custody they must have some reason for this, which I can only interpret as being a pack of lies about how you and your wife are a danger to the boy.

Get good legal representation, play exactly to the current rules for now so you can't be accused of anything else and gather together all the evidence you can to help your solicitor.

In terms of the boy, maybe it's worth explaining in simple terms that you love him very much and would like to be able to spend the weekends with him, but that his grandparents feel the same and therefore some other people are getting involved to try to help out.

Grandparents have told their solicitor and social worker nothing but lies. You should see the solicitors letters (coming from their solicitor, being sent to ours) - nothing but lies. Their solicitor has said he is contacting the social workers for a report, because it is very obvious that the two stories dont meet in the middle.

As it stands, no more contact. They just cant be trusted to keep the lad safe. And the problem is, one social worker can understand that, the other one doesnt and just keeps banging on about supporting any applications for a residency order.

And it was commented on the last page about why the GPs are being given a whole weekend as contact. This was purely a Social recommendation. The social workers told us what they wanted, and we co-operated, providing that GPs followed one main rule - and that was to not let him have contact with his real dad, because of the risk he poses. They couldnt even handle that one request.

Filey

If you see the uncooperative Social Worker ask her directly 'Why are you supporting the GPs application for residence and what have we done to make you believe we should not have him live with us?'

If you were to record this, not for evidence but to help keep everything exactly clear in your own minds, it might be helpful.

JoJoB

Filey wrote: »

If you see the uncooperative Social Worker ask her directly 'Why are you supporting the GPs application for residence and what have we done to make you believe we should not have him live with us?'

If you were to record this, not for evidence but to help keep everything exactly clear in your own minds, it might be helpful.

I think it is essential to have everything in writing at this stage. Put all your requests and all your questions in writing, give a time-frame for a response (7-14 days), and send recorded delivery.

If one of the social workers is still supportive of the gp's residence order when it has been proven they have put the child in harms way by allowing contact with real dad then there are serious child protection issues going on.