Massive family problems

jakem_2

busiscoming2 wrote: »

I find it strange that contact with the grandparents is a must, is this a legal thing? would contacting a solicitor help at all? Or asking for all contact with the grandparents to be supervised?

Hmmmm, I find the grandparents thing very strange TBH, as they havent a leg to stand on, there is no law that says they must have the boy every weekend, grandparents have no rights, unless they have care of the grandchild.

Money_maker

Is there someone independant of the family (such as a teacher) who can perhaps speak up for the boy? This must be impacting on his school work and he may have confided in someone there.

I also think the grandparent saga is strange. I look after someone who would dearly love to see more of her grandchildren but has no options to be able to persue - she wont take it to the courts because of the impact on the children.

*Louise*

Good grief - what a situation, sorry you are going through with this.

Something doesn't sit right with me regarding the grandparent situation though....(re. social services)

At first your son was being dropped off Sat am-Sun pm but because of the hassle from them it changed to Fri aft-Mon am (have I got that right?) why on earth under these circumstances would you and your wife allow the visit to extend from 1 night to 3?

This thing about him 'having' to see his grandparents...does it stipulate they have to care for him all weekend? Personally I would have let them have him for a few hours on one of the days and that would have been it. Grandparents don't usually get given rights like that unless there is considered to be a prob/risk in the family.

Which leads me on to your Social workers. There is NO WAY they should be supporting a residency order for the grandparents. It says to me that they are still suspicious of you/your wife, even though they have said your son is not at risk, their actions are saying they believe differently. I am wondering if the grandparents are telling them things that you don't know about??

I am glad you are seeing a solicitor, I would be terrified of losing my son if I were in your situation, and I REALLY hope you get the advice and help you need.

Are you still keeping him away from them for now? I hope so...what's to stop them keeping him until the residency order is decided on? Keep him close, and inform the school that NO-ONE else is to collect him.

My heart goes out to your boy, he must have been through so much lately, I hope you can fight those awful people and let him have a stable home

Good luck x

Mips

I would be getting some counselling for your son - someone he can talk to away from all of you.

This is going to mess him up - at 5 years old the little lad should be focussing on bugs and pets and whatever else is in his curriculum - not fighting family members filling his little head with poison

I hope you get your son back. As for the nephew who ended up bruised, I would be ringing social services and making them take a closer look into that family set up.

pinknfluffy0

A few years ago some one I know had similar problems with ss, it was as if the worker took instant dislike to her. After over a year of worry and threats she contacted a charity that helps people dealing with ss and it was sorted very quickly. I can not for the life of me remember the name of the charity but I will try and find out. Maybe try googling it.

Mutter_2

OP, is the boy's surname change official? i.e agreed by his father? If it was it shows he at least is trusting you as the boy's dad.

chloe99_2

You need to be very concerned here.

Under the normal course of events you do NOT have to allow your child to see their grandparents. the gps would have to go to court to try and get access enforced and even then it may well faiil.

So somthing funnt is going on. Based on what you have said, social should not be invovled in a case like this at all, it isn't their job to sort out bickering about gp access to children.

I wonder if you have misunderstood the severity of the social assessment they have made of you?

Why are they saying they would give residency to gps - this is only going to happen where the child has been removed from your wife's care ie is at risk of significant harm and they have taken child away.

in fact it all sounds so unlikely, and you seem to be taking it so lightly, that I am afraid I wonder if a) thread is made up or b) child is on the child protection register due to some other goings on in your home.

I apologise if ths is not the case, and if so, based on what you have said, you need to act quickly or you will lose the cihld.

Make-it-3

As others have said, there is something wrong with this current situation, now assumming you haven't left anything pertinent out of your account, there is no way these grandparents should have the enforced access to this boy that they do.

And if social services are supporting the GP's claim for permanent custody they must have some reason for this, which I can only interpret as being a pack of lies about how you and your wife are a danger to the boy.

Get good legal representation, play exactly to the current rules for now so you can't be accused of anything else and gather together all the evidence you can to help your solicitor.

In terms of the boy, maybe it's worth explaining in simple terms that you love him very much and would like to be able to spend the weekends with him, but that his grandparents feel the same and therefore some other people are getting involved to try to help out.

Make-it-3

As others have said, there is something wrong with this current situation, now assumming you haven't left anything pertinent out of your account, there is no way these grandparents should have the enforced access to this boy that they do.

And if social services are supporting the GP's claim for permanent custody they must have some reason for this, which I can only interpret as being a pack of lies about how you and your wife are a danger to the boy.

Get good legal representation, play exactly to the current rules for now so you can't be accused of anything else and gather together all the evidence you can to help your solicitor.

In terms of the boy, maybe it's worth explaining in simple terms that you love him very much and would like to be able to spend the weekends with him, but that his grandparents feel the same and therefore some other people are getting involved to try to help out.

JoJoB

Have you checked the grievance procedure for your local children's services? You will find it on your local authority website. It may be worth starting an official complaint about the way your case has been handled - it gets your objections in the system before any legal action you might take with solicitors. Courts usually like to see that some sort of negotiation along these lines has gone on before a case ends up there. But I understand if you are wary of getting ss backs up if they are already poorly disposed towards you.

They will be obliged, if you start the grievance process to set up a meeting with the head of childrens services to discuss your complaint within at least 14 days. Get writing a list of all incidents of unprofessionalism, ignoring evidence, failing to investigate the grandparents properly etc. If there is no evidence whatsoever against you apart from the gp's allegations then you are entitled to ask what exactly is the reason for ongoing ss involvement and bias towards the gp's residency order request.

To gain a residency order by the way, they would have to go to court and a judge would examine the evidence - ss would not have the final decision but of course their opinion would hold a lot of sway. However if an official complaint against ss is in the system then at the very least the judge would have to postpone any decision based on ss findings until ss themselves were in the clear.

Enquire with ss about counselling for the boy - make sure it goes on record as a request too as it will no doubt be something in your favour if a judge is weighing up evidence over who has the child's best interests at heart - and a counsellor could potentially give evidence as to what is in the best interest of the child.