Getting money back from cowboy builders

lisawaters

This is what I finally sent to the Beeb. Not sure it covers it really...


To all of the DIY SOS team members, on site and in Bristol.



I have been searching for the words to sum up how grateful the boys and I are for all you have done for us and the cottage. But I don't think they exist.

I realise now that the house was uninhabitable and I was hanging on to the belief that something would happen which would make it possible for my derelict cottage to become a wonderful home again. I was kept going by the image of a quaint and pretty 18th century cottage on the outside, yet gorgeous and contemporary inside.

The original builder I was recommended to use did not just take away the heart of the building and my money; he also took away my physical and mental health, my ability to work, my excitement in owning a house again and, briefly, my trust in anyone. I was progressively backed into a corner from which there was no escape. Nick summed it up when he said that I had become 'institutionalised'... I was in a groove doing the same things repeatedly and expecting the outcome to be different.

The past two years were the darkest of my life. I went from being a 'have' to being a 'have not'. It was frightening and uncontrollable. Everything I had taken for granted in life was stripped away week by week, month by month. Every time I thought I had touched the bottom, it moved further away.

I asked for help on the MSE forum in February. Reading back, I was clearly drowning, not waving. I can see how desperate my situation was now, but at the time I just kept on trying to find something that would reverse the descent. 'Asking for help' proved to be the turning point; I had thought I would find my own way out of the mess, and my self-respect would be intact… I thought I could make everything all right without having to ask anyone to help.

The people on the thread saw that I was in trouble, and they gave their support. They didn't know much about building but they seemed to know a lot about me. I felt that things could change if I accepted that asking for help was OK. They somehow gave me a break from banging my head against the wall, and showed me that accepting help doesn't diminish you. And that it's hurtful to people if you refuse them the chance to do something.

I was in a bad place when I wrote to you asking for help, and when Mark and Christine first visited me at the house, they were probably deeply shocked. Their kindness and matter-of-fact attitude helped me to think - yes, things ARE bad. But there's maybe a chance they could get better after all.

Being told I had been accepted for the programme was an indescribable feeling. A cloud began to lift immediately, and I began a journey back to normality which continues today. I started to feel happy (which I hadn't for a long time!)

From then on, it was a rollercoaster; and Christine and Beth might remember that I didn't believe you would all show up even the Friday before you were due to start! My recent experiences had included so many occasions when something good was dangled in front of me then snatched away, such as the four court cases I won, which never led to any change.

Meeting many of you on the start day was wonderful! You actually had turned up! (If this was a practical joke, it was a hell of a good one!) Being banished from the house just as things started to get interesting was awful! Not knowing what was happening was initially fun, but ultimately almost physically painful!

When you revealed my new home to me, I felt scared for the first time in many years. Standing there with my eyes shut, on the brink of having so many questions answered was terrifying. I suppose that moment was the turning point between what life had become, and what it might possibly be. I will never have a better experience. As I hope you now know, I loved it! Everything in it is beautiful and it feels secure and warm and solid. There had been so many worrying discoveries in the final days before the build started, I had mentally written the house off as unsavable - yet here it was, almost as I had imagined it, yet so much better!

At 3 am the next morning I came downstairs and had a walk round and saw so much I hadn't noticed. I realised how much work everyone had put in, what a clear belief and vision had driven it, and how lucky I was that this had been done for Jack, Sam and me. By the time I had switched the lights off and gone back to bed it was dawn, and I had fallen completely and utterly in love with the cottage again. I hope we will be together in it for a long time.

Thank you again for being such kind and friendly people, from the first phone call to today. Thank you for giving us a home, for taking on such a challenge, for being so generous and clever, and for never once making us feel you were doing us a favour. The programme will be fascinating and I hope you enjoyed making it.

Thank you for the day sailing, the morning at the primary school, for being so nice to my neighbours, and for giving us a hug when we were overwhelmed. Thank you for filming the whole thing, too! Do come back and see us again.

I don't think there actually is a phrase to describe how the boys and I feel now, which sums up our appreciation of everything you all did. Maybe this is the only thing I can say, but I hope it is enough:



Thank you.








Mike, Jack and Sam Purdie

The Dolls' House

Norfolk Place, Littlehampton.

lisawaters

savingmore wrote: »

been following your story, but forgotton when you are on SOS....or has it already been???? could someone let me know? thanks alot:beer:

In the autumn sometime...

Merrywidow

Oh Mike, that has brought tears to my eyes. You have such a wonderful way with words. It was a very special pleasure to be able to help you, Jack and Sam, three very wonderful people who deserved every penny that was spent on The Dolls House. My contribution was minimal, but combined with us all, it was a powerful force that achieved the impossible - this wonderful miracle that is your new happiness and belief in yourself. You have your life back. Knowing you and the boys has enriched our lives. Three cheers for You and Mike's Mob.
janetx

MatyMoo

The tissue's are out again - what a fantastic email Mike!

psychopathbabble

Mike, I wasn't joking when I said previously I'll have to stop reading and chatting to all of you because I keep crying!!

I've had enough of crying even if they are happy tears... I'm all dried up!!

Beautiful letter though xx

Radarjet

..fabulous ..and I'm sure it will take a little while longer to have it all filter through and sink in.

Praps get a photobook made whilst the pix are coming in thick and fast and whilst you can still taste the chronological/emotional daily events.
I'd be happy to help with it in any way if you're too overladen right now...

M xxx

Happytogetdebtfree

lovely email mike touching, happens they willl need tissues at the bbc shame we can not attatch them xx hi everyone x

MatyMoo

niccatw wrote: »

Maaaaatttttttyyyyyyyyy (said in that cooing, I want something tone of voice..... which is probably incredibly cheeky since the new thread is now 5 pages long and I've only just managed to nip in and try to catch up. And if any-one asks, I'm working hard on a very important report!!!!). Maty, did I tell you I was elephant mad? Is there anything at all that might give it away?

Can I please, please, please see your piccies? (I should probably also admit to looking for a lovely photo to make into a canvas for my living room. )

I'll catch up one of these days guys . You should all slow down a bit and take it easy . it's summer time!

Hi Niccatw

How did I not spot that you are a fellow elephant lover?

My challenge for the next few days will be to learn how to upload photo's to facebook and Mike's portal thingumywotsit. Once I can do that you can have free access to all 180 of them

If all else fails Psycho may be here next week and she can teach this techno numpty how to do it :rotfl: So a little patience may be required.

Also found out that they are selling some of them as limited edition minatures and one of them will look so cute in my kitchen. OH has ordered it for my Chrimbo

Maty

lisawaters

Merrywidow wrote: »

Oh Mike, that has brought tears to my eyes. You have such a wonderful way with words. It was a very special pleasure to be able to help you, Jack and Sam, three very wonderful people who deserved every penny that was spent on The Dolls House. My contribution was minimal, but combined with us all, it was a powerful force that achieved the impossible - this wonderful miracle that is your new happiness and belief in yourself. You have your life back. Knowing you and the boys has enriched our lives. Three cheers for You and Mike's Mob.
janetx

Hip hip...

lisawaters

Radarjet wrote: »

..fabulous ..and I'm sure it will take a little while longer to have it all filter through and sink in.

Praps get a photobook made whilst the pix are coming in thick and fast and whilst you can still taste the chronological/emotional daily events.
I'd be happy to help with it in any way if you're too overladen right now...

M xxx

I'm WAY off getting my head round anything! Just doing things on autopilot and trying not to forget anything important...

I saw a photobook in Jessops. They're very cool. Probably very expensive, but nothing is stopping people selecting pix from the pool on PicasaWeb and making their own which is personal to them.

For example, Psycho would have one with just pix of her being hugged by celebrities... you get the idea