Paise GERMANY

marleyboy

Overheard from Fabio during half time ........

[FONT=Verdana, Arial]Thirty-seven nil.
Lads, I'm hurt, hurt and ashamed. but let's not panic, it's only half time.
All we've got to do, is score some goals, we've got 45 minutes to score 37 goals.
Don't worry lads, we can do it, why not, they did.
All we have to do is get our tactics right, so let's start with the basics.
Does anybody know what this is?
Come one now, one of ye...
That's right Rooney, it's a football, good.
Now keep an eye out for this, because it's going to be important....
Now having established what a football is, can anybody tell me what were supposed to do with it...[/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial]
Hit it with our feet yes good, now try to think of the word lads......
kick, thats right Terry, well done, we the football team KICK the football ...
Now then, whereabouts do you kick it?.......
On its edge, what are you talking about Lampard, I dont mean where on the football do I kick it, where do I kick the football to....[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial]Come on now, try to picture it, your out there on the big green oblong thing...
Thats right Rooney the field.....now dont crawl lad..
Ok your out there on the field and youve got the ball........I KNOW ITS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE, but lets pretend it has...where do I kick the football.
About a bit, good well done Cole, towards that thing that Green hangs around in, let me give you a clue here "ooh noo theyve scored another.........." GOAL thats it lad, we the football team, kick the football, at the goal.
Now then, crucial question....WHICH goal.........
towards the one that Green isnt hanging around in, in other words THERE GOAL.
So lets recap lads, we've got 45 minutes, to go out there on the big green oblong thing and kick the round muddy object into the net that Green isnt in..........37 Times, well done.
And if that doesnt happen, Im gonna raise the knobbly bit with my toecaps on, up into the soft dangly things hanging beneath your belly button.
.[/FONT]

scotty1971

[FONT=Verdana, Arial]"And if that doesnt happen, Im gonna raise the knobbly bit with my toecaps on, up into the soft dangly things hanging beneath your belly button".

they would need to grow a pair before he could do that!!
[/FONT]

Gerrard_8_lfc

marleyboy wrote: »

they just go out there with the captain saying "Aye lads, were gonna lose this game, but dunni forget, were crap at it, so lets lose it in style":rotfl::rotfl:

Id say sunday was style enough for the whole nation tbh.

marleyboy

scotty1971 wrote: »

[FONT=Verdana, Arial]"And if that doesnt happen, Im gonna raise the knobbly bit with my toecaps on, up into the soft dangly things hanging beneath your belly button".

they would need to grow a pair before he could do that!!
[/FONT]

:T:T:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Gerrard_8_lfc

I think there should be a football section on this forum this thread has been a good laugh.

BLT_2

jb66 wrote: »

Scotland lose, the better team won

England loose, "Its the altitude" "Its the Ball" "It was the managers fault" Just admit it, England are Pish 1966

It was the ball, our girly footballers couldn't kick it straight :rotfl: What a bunch of no hopers, its lucky they aren't on performance related pay, they would be down the dole office looking for a crisis loan :rotfl:

jimbms

Did anyone else notice whilst watching GMTV that when the England football team was being driven away from Heathrow this morning they was all taken in German cars. :rotfl:

woody01

dampdaveski wrote: »

lol good comeback.
the comment about webbed feet either implies that you and your countrymen are good swimmers OR as I suspect might be the case, there is an implication that your countrymens DNA is 'enriched' by inter breeding, i.e having sexual relations with your cousins etc.
Of course I don't condone these shocking remarks I'm just trying to let you know in the most gentle way I can
Do you have ginger hair?
no don't answer that...

Good comeback for someone so simple you mean.
And yes....it means that the IOM is riddled with inbreeding yokels

I don't have ginger hair but I am addicted to redhead women.

All the women in your family have a ginger wig each then.

jimbms

woody01 wrote: »

Good comeback for someone so simple you mean.
And yes....it means that the IOM is riddled with inbreeding yokels


All the women in your family have a ginger wig each then.

Strange I don't have any female members in my direct family and as my mother died 20yrs ago that got you nowhere.
Are you so insecure you have to resort to petty childish insults because you are incapable of constructing any type of intelligent reply,
We may be inbred yokels but we;
a) Don't live in a bankrupt country or one in debt.
b) Pay less than a third of the tax you do.
c) Have an employment situation where there are more jobs than applicants, with the average wage being above the UK.
d) Have very little crime, people can walk safe at nights, especially women and burglary is virtually unknown.

So please continue, I shall sit back here and laugh at your plight.

marleyboy

Now Now Ladies, save the cat scratching for ON the pitch.....;)