When will this end.......

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

The old cliche applies here, DKW2DA - time heals. You could easily meet someone in a few months or a couple of years. Not all men are bad, and there are some really, truly lovely ones out there (pity I don't have their phone numbers ), and you might just trip over The One when you least expect it.

[but if you have more than one to choose between - I'll take the one who can play guitar, is over 6 foot tall and has the biggest biceps - you can have the 5 foot tall millionaire ]

Steel_2

dontknowwhat2doanymore wrote: »

Thanks all of you, but I can't ever see myself being in another relationship. I have a close friendship with a male friend but ex nearly ruined that, by accusing us of seeing each other etc, it's not just him my ex had a problem with my, he hated my best mate as well I now see that he was trying to isolate me. But I was talking to my male friend about meeting someone else and I feel like I wont be able to fully trust another man. I know my feeling might change one day but I can't see myself letting another man get close enough to me to hurt me, because of what has gone on I think being in a relationship with anyone would be unfair as they would not get the real me IYGWIM.

But then again if a good looking millionaire was to knock on the door lol.

xx

Are you married to him? I can't remember if you said you were...

Give it a couple of years and you might feel differently. Your ex's interest in seeing or supporting the kids may change after this and he could disappear leaving you free (I know, I know, but you have to keep positive and have hope). Then one day a lovely gentle, supportive man will come along...

As Jojo said - you might just trip over one when you least expect it.

I did

dontknowwhat2doanymore

Well I have had my home safety check today, it has been done by the local housing association. OMG all I did was cry, I have been really up and down the last few days, but was up crying all night coz ex said I was better off dead and the kids would be better off without me etc.

I didn't realise how much help is available, esp as the house is mortgaged. They are going to change all door locks, replace my back door as it could be stronger. They are also going to install a door bell which has a camera in it with a screen in my front room with an intercom so I can see who is at the door without answering.

The best thing is they are going to refer me for emotional support, which I really need at the moment. I can't stop wondering why he did this to me, why he never loved me enough to stop, I had 3 children with him and it still wasnt enough.

My dad is gonna have my youngest for an hour before he goes to nursery, so going to drop my little man off and think I will have a good cry in the bath.

Thank you for all your support

January20

Crying is not so bad. It's a good way to release your emotions, your fear, anger and frustration. Just remember you have to stop at some point. Don't listen to anything your ex says. He is a nasty manipulative so and so and he knows exactly which buttons to press to hurt you. Is there no way you can avoid having any kind of communication with him?

dontknowwhat2doanymore

Thanks, I had a good cry today but still feel worse. The victim support officer who came round today said it could be possible that my pnd may not have been sorted, as I never got any support from ex and had to just get on with it.
Obv I will mention this to my dr when I go next week. However yesterday was DS1 birthday so had to see ex.

Steel_2

dontknowwhat2doanymore wrote: »

but was up crying all night coz ex said I was better off dead and the kids would be better off without me etc.

More likely the other way round. What a waste of space he is. Pathetic, useless and cowardly.

I'd say more about his stunning non-talents as a man, but it would waste precious breath on someone not worth it.

Good does of mace spray in the face would do him the world of good.

Are you going to take steps to reduce visitation and obtain an injunction now he's been violent in front of the children and accepted the Police caution?

gratefulforhelp_2

Good advice here, but ...change locks? and if he has car seats and they are yours, tell him (or get someone else to tell him, solicitor?) he will need to purchase his own. You can't have all this aggro because you have to call him over car seats.

Is it safe for the children to go to him, would supervised contact be better for the children?

dontknowwhat2doanymore

Hi i'm feeling a bit better now, the sols are going to be applying for a residency order, non molestation order and occupation order. I have been told once the agencies involved have had their monthly meeting, their sol will arrange for me to go down give my statement then she will apply to court the next day and get them granted.

In regards to the issue with the car seats, it wont happen again as he will not be taking them anywhere in the car for the foreseeable future. I have contemplated him having supervised visitation however with his new found freedom his crying about not seeing the kids everyday has changed to i'm going out, i'm busy etc, so would be happy with him taking them to the park (across the road and visible from my house) for an hour once a week.

The lovely lady who came out to see me today did say the gravity of the situation tends to hit you when your nearing the end and the realisation of what you have been through becomes more apparant. I think its also I have a lack of distraction now, I have finally finished my college course and achieved top marks for the assignments I did whilst this was going on!!

Well tomorrow is another day and tomorrow night I am going out for a meal with the people off my course to celebrate the end, and I think I deserve a drink or three lol.

dontknowwhat2doanymore

Well the whirlwind is begining, had a phone call at 9 this morning asking me to go and meet the solicitor at 10 today. Just popped home to get the I.D. etc that they need, hopefully it will be taken to court and the orders put in place tomorrow!!

I finally feel like something is happening and hopefully will start feeling safer in my own home.

I will update when I get back.

Minxy_Bella

Best of luck to you - you've been through a horrible nightmare. Let's hope that things start settling down now.


PS What a git your ex is!!