When will this end.......

dontknowwhat2doanymore

Hi everyone, I got so much help with my last thread, I thought here would be a good place to update and get some more help please.

First off ex has got his own place, however it is only a street away. After he left things were amicable for a while. After him being away for a few weeks my mum had the kids over night, so I had some friends round. We went out to the pub for half an hour, when we returned ex had 'broken' into the house and threatened to smash my face in, I oushed him out the door and phoned 999. The police warned him and he was sent on his way.

The next morning I wake up at 7.30 and find him stood over my bed!!! Kicked him out again, within ten mins he was phoning me saying he was sorry about the night before etc wanted everything to be alright for the kids, so we left it at that.

Roll forward to this weekend just gone, he asked if he could take the kids to his dads on Sunday so I agreed. As it was warm I was wearing a dress, I then started to put his had up my dress, grope at me and run his erection against me. I told him to stop it and it was inappropriate to behave like that and he just said 'well your single aint ya, so it's not a problem'. !!!!!!!!! I threw him out yet again.

The next morning I contacted him as he had the kids car seats and I needed them back. I then told him that I was seeing someone, I then get called every name under the sun, told me he wants DNA tests and he hates the kids.

He has come round today to see my oldest DD who is 6 (was off school today), and youngest DD2 who is 3, threatened me again, shoved me and kicked a hole into an internal door, all infront of the kids. DD was terrified, when I went to phone the police he stopped and said 'you phone and you wont ever get a penny off me'. I threw him out yet again and phoned the police- still waiting for them 8 hours later.

I have already decided he wont be allowed in the house to see the kids again, they should not have to witness this!! He has now decided that I am an alcoholic, an unfit mum and he is gonna go for full custody of the kids.

Arrrgh my blood is boiling, because he knows he cannot hurt me anymore he is trying to get to me through the kids. I thought went he was being nice he might have grown up, but hey ho looks like the sols are gonna have to sort this out.

Sorry for the long rant, I just wondered if any others have been in a similar situation how did it end up with your ex? Did they eventually grow up or not?

Many thanks

xx

delain

Yes, I have, and no, he didn't.

He won't get anywhere in court on account of his former DV to you and the newest event, plus social services will be called because there was a police report involving children, and they won't let him get custody either.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

I suggest you get whatever the correct term is for an injunction these days, banning him from coming round at all. I'm sure that violence, threatened rape and all the other things he has done will be seen as a good enough reason for it.


ETA: Are you certain that staying in the area is for the best? We wouldn't want you to prove the adage that you are at the most danger now.

mikey72

Make sure you go to the police about the second phone call if they don't show, you need to make it official, or it'll be brushed under the carpet by them.
I doubt he'll change by the way.

dontknowwhat2doanymore

Thanks for your replies, I think he wanted SS involved, as I am due to start uni this year on the SW degree. It hurts so much though that he can't change and be the dad that my kids deserve. DD is, at the moment, scared of he dad, that hurts me so much more than anything he did to me.

MatyMoo

Didn't want to read & run.

Have you changed the locks to stop him letting himself in? Very scary to find him by your bed and his other antics should be reported to the police.

No wonder your DD is frightened of him.

Sending you all hugs

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

And with good cause, by the sounds of it.

You have done so well, but you have to be double strong now he's raising the stakes.

Sadly, I think he is probably getting himself aroused by the possibility of getting his payback. Which is why I think you are are more danger now.

It won't affect your studies in the way you fear, so you can take further steps to protect yourself without worry of it disrupting your future free of the fear.

You need to be safer.

dontknowwhat2doanymore

Thank you for all the replies. The police have left not long ago. They are going to type up the statement and then bring it tonight for me to sign, whilst at the station they are going to speak to the cusody sgt with a view to having him arrested tonight for sexual assault and criminal damage, to spend the night in the cells and be interviewed by the domestic violence unit in the morning.

I am so pleased I have done it, but a little bit of me feels guilty as well, but I dont know why.

The police also advised they may need DD statement but will try and avoid unless nessesary.

They have also told me SS may visit, it is not a problem for me, I have nothing to hide, I am doing all of this to protect my children and will never let him do this again.

xx

kiddy_guy

Well done.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Well done - if in doubt, remember pressing charges protects you.

ailuro2

Oh that's just awful for you - I think I can understand why you feel a bit guilty but it's likely only guilt at not picking a better Dad for the kids that you're feeling, but please, write this all down and look back on it in a few months and you'll wonder why you ever felt guilty. You really have no reason to. He is a creep and a nasty one at that. You are in a dangerous situation at the moment, keep your phone on you at all times so you can phone the police as soon as he turns up - he has already damaged property, don't let him damage anything else that isn't his anymore.;)

Well done for being brave and going through with the police stuff, hopefully the DV unit and a night in the cells will scare him off. It might be an idea to go visit a friend today, just to stay out of the way when he is released.

Good Luck, wish you and your little ones all the best.