teenage daughter

michellenealemum

omg,
my 12 year old daughter has been a right royal pain in the axxxe
her and my other daughter 8 just constantly bicker,picked eldest up from school today as a treat~{usually gets bus and walks}
so starts of nice, then go and get youngest decide its a nice day so say to eldest lets walk i'll get you both an ice cream,so that went fine
get home, eldest takes her sisters yoyo so youngest cry's she gives it back, but she kicks her at the same time,so youngest kicks back
i'm in kitchen making tea so they both briught into kitchen made to sit on floor while i cook tea,
everything calm
then i ask youngest to clear table which she does {but on the table is eldest school journal so i ask her to put it safe} get a mouthfull aout it not her job to clear table so i explain you move it so you know where it is {seems fair}
so i ask eldest to get out knife and forks glasses for tea again more back chat why does she have to do it blah blah blah
so i calmly say it helps as i'm making tea.
then it all kicks off girls arguing about where to sit who pours the drink and on.
so i totally loose the plot scream and shout even swear {bad mum}
well the upshot is they can't play out tonight but i also said to my eldest she can't go to scouts {only prob is tonight is climbing wall for a badge which we paid for last week} i've told her she cant go and she needs to pay me back for the climbing wall cause it cost me money,
now i'm feeling guilty its for her badge and they only choose 10 scouts wont be doing it again for awhile
don't know what to do
help
sorry its so long thanks for reading
made me feel better for writing it down
i feel awful now hate shouting at them i know it doesn't work
michelle

jamespir

what i would do is let her go to scouts tonight but then ground her for the rest of the month but explain to her shes only going tonight because youve already paid for it and if it wasnt for that she wouldnt be going

cloverfan

Ah, are you sure you were'nt in my house?? I have a 13 and 9 year old and they are exactly the same.......deep breath and carry on, you sound like a great mum. Re the shouting and swearing perhaps next time you could just sing a little song or something???? I know it sounds silly and I am rubbish at singing BUT it completely throws my kids as they are getting no attention so they stop. Good luck xx

gingin_2

I wonder if this hot weather is making them irritable, because my 10 year old is up in his room for pulling a wrestling move on his sister.

She shouldn't be backchatting at you because you asked her to do a simple task. I'd tell her that it's her job to do it every meal from now on, so then there can be no confusion ;-)

It's a hard one with the scouts, I personally wouldn't go back on what I had said.

michellenealemum

feel totally deflated, i hate swearing its something that makes me very cross when i hear it, but they just pushed all the buttons,they where very shocked, my eldest knew she had pushed me over the edge.
doesn't excuse my behaivour omg
glad to hear its not just my kids
thank you

Minxy_Bella

It's normal. Take a deep breath and keep calm. They'll grow out of it in a couple of decades. (Hopefully!)

michellenealemum

gingin wrote: »

I wonder if this hot weather is making them irritable, because my 10 year old is up in his room for pulling a wrestling move on his sister.

She shouldn't be backchatting at you because you asked her to do a simple task. I'd tell her that it's her job to do it every meal from now on, so then there can be no confusion ;-)

It's a hard one with the scouts, I personally wouldn't go back on what I had said.

she has jobs in the house, she unloads the dishwasher they both help to set the table and get things out for tea,
what can you do with the back chat i've tried everything charts rewards taking things away

jamespir

michellenealemum wrote: »

she has jobs in the house, she unloads the dishwasher they both help to set the table and get things out for tea,
what can you do with the back chat i've tried everything charts rewards taking things away

shes nearly a teenager you have another three years of this

my mum used to cut the plug of our tele if we didnt do things

and shed only put it back on when the chores were done

pigpen

Ooh.. the journal.. I hate those things... If she had refused to move it in here it would have been put in the bin..

It is fairly standard behaviour sorry to say.. though of all mine the 12 and 11 year old are probably the worst combination BUT the 11 year old is the worst by far for lashing out at the others, not doing as asked and being a total PITA 100% of the time!

The heat makes them so much worse.

I would take her to do her badge.. and not let her stay once it was done.. bring her straight home afterwards.. no staying and enjoying herself..

Back chat I will stand for so long then the hand usually gives them a slap in the chops before I realise what is going on! Shuts them up for a good few months..

Mine have been dished out some pretty nasty jobs as punishments.. I think having DS3 scrub the bathroom floor was about the best.. he went loopy.. floor looked lovely though he did a grand job!

james.. don't fib.. she has maybe another 6-7 years!! not 3!!!

tiff

I have a 12 year old son and 9 year old daughter, exactly the same. I wish you could have lessons or read a manual on how to manage their behaviour, because I could sure do with one!

ladybez

mine are 22, 14 and 9year old twins and they are also forever sniping and kicking out at each other. Have stopped them going to Cubs, Guides, Rangers, Brigade, taken the TV out of their rooms, which only works for a short time. The Twins are permanently grounded (for other reasons) so I am fast running out of sanctions. DS3 said I could always stop them going to school......Yeah Right!!