Leaving Work due to Stress

sabrahams

AnxiousMum wrote: »

Of course he is still her partner - they are still a couple, married, planning children, fighting immigration laws to be together here in the UK, and while she has been working, she has been supporting him financially - they are very much a family, and she is very much not a single parent.

OP - when his immigration issues come around - they are going to ask how you can financially support him. They will ask to see bank account statements etc., and if it is seen that you are collecting single parent payments, and collecting benefits as a single parent - not only will he be refused entry for sure, but you could very well be done for fraud by the various agencies. I know you don't want to purposely do anything illegal, but before you make any decisions on what to do, I would want to see in writing from these agencies that they will regard you as a single parent IN WRITING before you go leaving any employment.

It seems like a big part of your problem is childcare during the summer holidays - on your HOUSEHOLD income - (not claiming as single but declaring all household income) - do you qualify for any childcare costs? You would still declare his income, but as it's not much, it won't make a whole lot of difference in what you would receive. You just wouldn't get any funds to cover your husband at all as if he were living here and was entitled to public funds.

While you certainly do have alot of stress at the moment, alot of it is circumstantial - the situation at work, the husband being out of the country etc., and if you think about it, depriving yourself of money to support your family will only add to this stress. If your emotions are in such a state due to the miscarriage that you cannot focus on your job - have you spoken to your doctor about signing you off work for a couple of weeks to focus on reducing your stress, and getting to a point where you are on top of it all?

We all have situations that arise that 'we need breathing space from'.......unfortunatley quitting our jobs is not always the best answer - geesh, I know the stress that would cause here - but sometimes somethng simple like taking up running - where you get to take half an hour just for you, or meeting a friend for lunch etc. can work miracles in lifting our spirits.

I know you're not in an easy situation - but I'd hate to see you land yourself in hot water and in the end, make matters alot worse.

Thank you kindly. This has helped. However, phoned IS off the record and I would not be able to claim IS without proving a load of bull basically. Too much effort when its easier to just ride out the stress and work and bring my family back together.

Suggesting for me to move to Jamaica (by another user), this is an option. However, the last option as Jamaica is not an easy country. And their rules are just as strict as England... who would even suggest that England rules are strict when people claim CB for their children living abroad... sorry, that made me laugh.

However, take care everyone and again, thanks to those who have helped. xx

sabrahams

Deepmistrust wrote: »

So next time you give a person "false doom and gloom" (:rotfl:), please first consult your crystal balls.

LOL off the record and not against anyone in this convo, but am definitely going to use this quote against a certain someone in the office. I will even write it on the back of my hand the day I go back to work!!! :rotfl:

Loopy_Girl

Am glad you phoned and checked for your own peace of mind Sarah - sorry it wasn't the answer you were wanting.

Good that GP has signed you off. Whether your employers being understanding or not, at the end of the day if your GP says you are unfit for work then they are going to have to adhere to that.

I hope your physical and mental wellbeing improve soon.

sabrahams

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

Am glad you phoned and checked for your own peace of mind Sarah - sorry it wasn't the answer you were wanting.

Good that GP has signed you off. Whether your employers being understanding or not, at the end of the day if your GP says you are unfit for work then they are going to have to adhere to that.

I hope your physical and mental wellbeing improve soon.

Thank you kindly... and no they're not happy but hey.... ?? part of life.

Loopy_Girl

sabrahams wrote: »

Thank you kindly... and no they're not happy but hey.... ?? part of life.

Stuff them....if you are not well, you are not well - end of story.

It bugs me when employers do that particularly if there has been a traumatic event happened :mad:

sabrahams

Yep, but that's how it is especially with small companies when there is one person doing each job role.. they're selfish but then its nice to know when you are needed!! and that your work is appreciated at the same time take care i am off to bed! x

AnxiousMum

Glad to see you've come back, and that you've been signed off for a couple of weeks to get yourself well.

Just a thought - you haven't said why they won't allow your husband to join you here in the UK, and you certainly don't have to. Have you had the chance to speak to your MP about this, and how your family is being kept apart? You never know - they may be able to do something even if just enquiring as to what the problem might be.

Hope you do get to relax in the next couple of weeks and come out of it feeling a little more energised as well