Money Moral Dilemma: She injured my dog - should she pay?

crossleydd42

Deleted_User wrote: »

Absolutely.

What I do, is to take a deposit from each of my friends before meeting them, in case they should cause any damage, injury or otherwise inconvenience me in a way which would demand reparation.

It's then a simple job to deduct damages from the deposit at the end of the night, thus avoiding any social etiquette dilemmas.

My mother insisted on laying her deposit by credit card at the weekend, so naturally, I felt obliged to add a 1.5% surcharge to cover my processing fees. I would advise you to consider implementing similar procedures, so as not to risk being out of pocket at any social event.

An eminently sensible solution which I practice myself and would recommend to all who possess credit cards. However, because I can't always pay the full amount at the end of the month, I usually add a couple of pounds from each guest to cover their part my interest.

Talent

Hey, we have some really silly (stupid even) people on this one. Whoever does the damage pays. Simple as! If she had thrown up in a cab, she'd have paid. If she'd knocked over your £2000 HD TV, she'd have paid (I'm presuming you have no insurance for that since you have no insurance for your pet).... yes?
Any kind of 'friend' would even offer, so she's not your friend. You need to put it to her that you are seriously out of pocket. She may even have some sort of personal liability insurance.
Even if you had insurance yourself, the insurance company would want the details and could then try to recover their losses from your friend.

SunnyBrighton_2

Food poisoning symptoms can appear between 1 hour and 90 days after the event. (http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Food-poisoning/Pages/Symptoms.aspx)
Most appear within 12-72 hours. Particularly severe poisoning can appear very fast. A very healthy person's body will attempt to eject the poison as fast as possible to prevent / limit damage.

felicity952 wrote: »

May I just say that no-one seems to have mentioned the food poisoning - this does not normally appear until 24 hours after eating infected food so maybe the friend was not poisoned by the restaurant you went to!
Any cases of severe food poisoning should be reported to Food Standard so they can investigate.

tallgirld

Noooo you shouldn't ask her to pay.

It was an accident. The dog shouldn't have been in the way in the first place. If you was my friend and asked me to pay I would pay it but you would never see me again as I would consider that TAKING THE MICK!!

JayD

Sadly I think it is no one's fault. Hopefully, if you explained to said friend what happened during your friend's personal upset - and how much it has cost you - she will offer to share some of that cost with you. I would expect a friend to be sympathetic and take some responsibility. But I see no obligation for her to pay anything at all.

I suggest that you talk to her and explain what happened, show her the vet bill and if she doesn't offer, ask if she could help - even a little bit - given your financial circumstances and find out just how much of a friend she really is ...

jokerjasper

If this was my friend I might mention in conversation that she had injured my dog and he required vet attention. If she offered to pay then great. But I certainly wouldnt ask her for payment for the vet bill.

jaqren45

oafish1 wrote: »

Why is everyone being so harsh? A dog is for life, you dont just 'get rid' when circumstances change, and pet insurance is expensive when the dog is older (£30 a month for my 9 year old and I have to pay the first £100). Not everyone is eligible for PDSA.

Advice: She is your friend, I am sure she is as embarrassed as you to bring the subject up.

Dont let this destroy your friendship, talk to her, and try to come to some solution.

And ignore all the criticisms on here, you have done nothing wrong.

TAke care and I hope your dog is better soon.

Accidents happen! We can all say this and that afterwards. Any friend of mine would at least offer to help with the bill. And I get on well enough with them all to be able to bring the subject up without ruining the friendship. What kind of friends do all these other people have?

Talk to your friend, the worst she can say is "no". If that damages your friendship, so be it.

Hope your friend is better and the dog too.:beer:

SuzySF

:pjust read a statement (sorry cant recall poster) stating that food poisoning does not appear for 24 hrs WRONG....3 yrs ago I went to Barcelona with my sister and a friend, we went to a rather upmarket restaurant for a treat meal - I stupidly went for Paealla despite my sisters warnings - it was wonderful, other than less than a hour later i was violently ill vomiting, and could not stop. Having to take "heavy duty" medication for transplant, I had to go to hospital after 4 hours of non stop vomiting - bringing up nothing now except the water i was drinking trying to keep hydrated. Seafood poisoning is apparently very quick acording to the medics at the seafront barcelona hospital (nice views from the bed i had).

as for the question re:paying the vets bills. Well I have been in a similar situation years ago loosing my job but having a pet. I sacrificed my "pleasures" eating out/take aways to pay for the pet insurance - priorities first. No I dont think the friend should pay.

liney

Wouldn't a decent person insist on paying for damage they caused even accidently? Is the friend even aware she injured the dog?

Hannah_10

Lots of posters seem to be reckoning the OP can't pay the vet bill and condemning them for not having insurance, even though they might have insurance we don't know. We don't actually have enough information to decide the OP can't pay either. Maybe they had savings, maybe it went on the credit card, maybe the vet agreed repayment options, there's every possibility the bill was dealt with on the day. What we were asked was if the ill friend ought to be asked to pay, this could just as easily mean pay the OP back as pay the vet. I would have thought most people would have just stuck it on plastic or hit the savings account for it and therefore we should consider the possibility that the bill was paid initially by the OP too.

Also it just says they're out of work, it doesn't say why, the dog could be an assistance dog (guide dog, seizure response dog etc). I know people with them and for those people times of stress are exactly when the dog is most needed. So the people saying about keeping the dog "under control" are leaving out a huge area of possibilities there. Also surely everyone has the right to be in thier own home, even a dog? This is one of those things where if there were people running round my home I wouldn't expect to keep my dog shut in a pen, people/pets move around quickly in homes all the time and manage to miss each other. Looks to me like the incident didn't happen because the dog did something unexpected, it happened because the friend did, they slammed a door without due regard for anyone who might be in it. To me that makes the friend at fault not the dog.

I get that the friend was too ill to know what they were doing, but still if I'm too drunk to know what I'm doing and I cheat on someone it's hardly the person I cheated ons fault is it. If you hurt someone when you're not up to paying full attention it's still you causing that hurt.

So I think there's a lot of unfair OP and dog blaming going on because people are misreading what's asked. Back to the original question, should friend be asked to pay up?

I think yes because the OP had the good grace not to just chuck the mate out and to look after them so they definately shouldn't be left holding the bill for the careless damages (damages to a sentient creature at that- much worse than damages to an object). To look after a friend who is that ill you are going to a lot of trouble. To then end up out of pocket for thier careless damage is a step too far I think. But, how important is the mate though? Because if it's likely to come between you and you are sure they really didn't know they hurt the dog then it might be better just to write it off to experience and keep quiet.