csa...payments in school holidays help !!!

shell_542

nurburgring wrote: »

yeah i know,its just i begrudge giving my money to her mam,would rather my daughter get it to help her out when she does get a flat:D


yeah i know thats why we still speaking now,been speaking nice since march so getting there :T

You'll be able to do that once she turns 19, which isn't long now. And if the ex hasn't made provisions for then, she will take a hit with her reduction in maintenance, child benefit and tax credits.

nurburgring

yeah i know it seems like i dont want to pay and i do its just all the mess and reasons thats behind it as to why im so bitter, i offered loads of time just to pay the ex direct etc or buy my daughter anything she needed but even that wasnt good enough she would of been better off doing it that way and would of probably got more money but at least i know my daughter would of been benefitting from it and not her mam.

PlayingHardball

Couldn't the OP have contacted the CSA 18 years ago (or whenever he split with his ex) to open a CSA claim, meaning his payments would have gone to SOS, as the ex was on benefits? That was my understanding, anyway. As it is, the way I see it, when NRP don't pay and Mum is on benefits, we the 'tax payer' pay for these children, am I wrong?

lightisfading

Even if she is 18, she is still basically a child and how she acts towards you is not how an adult would act, nor can you expect it to be.

And it doesn't matter how her mum acts to you, or how she acts to you, you brought her into the world, so you have to take your responsibilities seriously. Arguing with them doesn't make her any less your responsibility.

shell_542

lightisfading wrote: »

Even if she is 18, she is still basically a child and how she acts towards you is not how an adult would act, nor can you expect it to be.

.

I disagree. At 18, you are an adult, and most are mature enough to understand what is acceptable and what isn't, it's their choice at that age how to act. How she behaves now is a mixture of her personality and her upbringing. We don't know the ins and outs of the OP's situation but I think it's a bit silly to say he cannot expect his 18 yr old daughter to act like an adult. She's old enough to vote, get married and have a full time job. Her employers would hardly let her get away with acting out and put it down to her being "a child".

lightisfading

Sorry, i mis-worded that. It sounds like the things she said previously were a few years ago when she WAS a child. But either way many 18 year olds are not mature emotionally.

nurburgring

shell_542 wrote: »

I disagree. At 18, you are an adult, and most are mature enough to understand what is acceptable and what isn't, it's their choice at that age how to act. How she behaves now is a mixture of her personality and her upbringing. We don't know the ins and outs of the OP's situation but I think it's a bit silly to say he cannot expect his 18 yr old daughter to act like an adult. She's old enough to vote, get married and have a full time job. Her employers would hardly let her get away with acting out and put it down to her being "a child".

well said :beer:

welshmoneylover

nurburgring wrote: »

thank you,all i wanted was a bit of help:T

i not gonna bother phoning the csa im just gonna pay till next year then its all gone !!!!

then whats her mam gonna do without the money i send her.
i really feel for the ppl that have got young kids and the gonna have to pay for many years:mad:

If I were you I'd grin and bear it for a year, it'll soon pass. Though why you have to support a working adult through the CSA is beyond me, Perhaps that is another wrong that the Tories will put right

CSA_Help

lightisfading wrote: »

next time try a condom if you don't want to pay child support.

!!!!!!

What help contribution does that statement make?

CSA_Help

Stands to reason the OP's ex is bitter and twisted manipulating the daughter into not having contact with her natural dad until she is 18.

Hope you get it sorted with your daughter nurburgring and your ex's meal ticket will run out soon where as you can help out your daughter financially and emotionally when needed.

Best of luck