csa...payments in school holidays help !!!

kingfisherblue

nurburgring wrote: »

thank you,all i wanted was a bit of help:T

i not gonna bother phoning the csa im just gonna pay till next year then its all gone !!!!

then whats her mam gonna do without the money i send her.
i really feel for the ppl that have got young kids and the gonna have to pay for many years:mad:

I can understand that you wanted help, but presumably your daughter uses electricity, eats food, has her clothes washed, etc. Her mum needs to pay for these and other things. I know that there are many PWCs out there who see their ex as a cash cow, but there are also many children whose NRPs avoid paying. That isn't fair on the kids. My ex avoided paying for four years, not long compared to some cases. As I care for our disabled child, and rely on benefits, the extra money from their dad is very useful.

As for feeling sorry for those NRPs who have several years of paying for their children, most are probably willing to pay towards the children that they brought into the world. Any decent parent will pay towards their children.

As you are so resentful about paying for your daughter, may I make a suggestion? Don't have any more children.

YummyMummy20

nurburgring wrote: »

i really feel for the ppl that have got young kids and the gonna have to pay for many years:mad:

I was going to post something remotely supportive until I read this :eek: Personally I'd feel sorry for the kids!

markeymark

YummyMummy20 wrote: »

I was going to post something remotely supportive until I read this :eek: Personally I'd feel sorry for the kids!

im with you on this one yummymummy20, OP doesnt put him self across in a good light!!

Blonde_Bint

Perhaps its more because shes an adult now maybe.

I have to say our dd has both her parents living together and when my dd reaches 18 if our finances will not allow for it uni will be out for her unless she can put herself through uni/college.

nurburgring

kingfisherblue wrote: »

I can understand that you wanted help, but presumably your daughter uses electricity, eats food, has her clothes washed, etc. Her mum needs to pay for these and other things. I know that there are many PWCs out there who see their ex as a cash cow, but there are also many children whose NRPs avoid paying. That isn't fair on the kids. My ex avoided paying for four years, not long compared to some cases. As I care for our disabled child, and rely on benefits, the extra money from their dad is very useful.

As for feeling sorry for those NRPs who have several years of paying for their children, most are probably willing to pay towards the children that they brought into the world. Any decent parent will pay towards their children.

As you are so resentful about paying for your daughter, may I make a suggestion? Don't have any more children.

i got 2 kids now and the get everything the want,the one im paying csa for i got stopped from birth,started to see her when she was 5 till 6 year then her man stopped me again cos i refused to get back with her:mad:
so then she turns 14 so i write a letter,all i got is a phone call off my ex saying if you see her i going straight to csa cos i want money off you,anyway i seen her for 2 years then my so called daughter had so much hate for me she was texting my new wife who was pregnant with our 2nd baby saying she hope it rots inside of her and hopes we all die a slow painful death(some daughter eh?)
thats when i washed my hands of it all.and the csa come on to me when she left school.
that is why i begrudge paying it!
the on benefits comeing out the ears and us tax payers thats worked all our life have to pay tax for it :eek:
we still speak by text and on facebook and she tells me that im only her FACEBOOK DAD and last year my daughter fell out with her mam ans she told me what her mam said and that was that she can never speak to me till she was 18 or she would kick her out.

why wait 16 years to got to csa,i tried plenty to give her money but to no good.
my daughter is slowly starting to see my side now and she looking for a flat and i told her i will help her with money and get stuff for her till she gets on her feet.

YummyMummy20 wrote: »

I was going to post something remotely supportive until I read this :eek: Personally I'd feel sorry for the kids!

markeymark wrote: »

im with you on this one yummymummy20, OP doesnt put him self across in a good light!!

nurburgring

oh yeah my daughter said that after we already lost 4 babies due to misscarage

shell_542

It's not long now and then your liability will end. There's no point in winding yourself up about it because there's nothing you can do. Yes, you are liable to pay for child maintenance through school holidays. No way out of it.

AnxiousMum

OP - please remember your daughter is just a child.....she has been raised obviously in an environment where there was alot of hatred, jealousy possibly at you getting on with your life, and how can this poisonous behaviour not rub off on a child who was at an age where she was trying to find her own way in life and figure out what her future holds.

She WILL come around - if she's already planning on moving out of the mother's home, then I doubt that she's very much enjoying living at the mother's and can see her for what she is doign to your daughter.

nurburgring

shell_542 wrote: »

It's not long now and then your liability will end. There's no point in winding yourself up about it because there's nothing you can do. Yes, you are liable to pay for child maintenance through school holidays. No way out of it.

yeah i know,its just i begrudge giving my money to her mam,would rather my daughter get it to help her out when she does get a flat:D

AnxiousMum wrote: »

OP - please remember your daughter is just a child.....she has been raised obviously in an environment where there was alot of hatred, jealousy possibly at you getting on with your life, and how can this poisonous behaviour not rub off on a child who was at an age where she was trying to find her own way in life and figure out what her future holds.

She WILL come around - if she's already planning on moving out of the mother's home, then I doubt that she's very much enjoying living at the mother's and can see her for what she is doign to your daughter.

yeah i know thats why we still speaking now,been speaking nice since march so getting there :T

Blonde_Bint

nurburgring wrote: »

i got 2 kids now and the get everything the want,the one im paying csa for i got stopped from birth,started to see her when she was 5 till 6 year then her man stopped me again cos i refused to get back with her:mad:
so then she turns 14 so i write a letter,all i got is a phone call off my ex saying if you see her i going straight to csa cos i want money off you,anyway i seen her for 2 years then my so called daughter had so much hate for me she was texting my new wife who was pregnant with our 2nd baby saying she hope it rots inside of her and hopes we all die a slow painful death(some daughter eh?)
thats when i washed my hands of it all.and the csa come on to me when she left school.
that is why i begrudge paying it!
the on benefits comeing out the ears and us tax payers thats worked all our life have to pay tax for it :eek:
we still speak by text and on facebook and she tells me that im only her FACEBOOK DAD and last year my daughter fell out with her mam ans she told me what her mam said and that was that she can never speak to me till she was 18 or she would kick her out.

why wait 16 years to got to csa,i tried plenty to give her money but to no good.
my daughter is slowly starting to see my side now and she looking for a flat and i told her i will help her with money and get stuff for her till she gets on her feet.

My sincere sympathies nurburgring.

Please keep in mind though, kids accept what their carers the people bringing them up tell them as gospel, as they have no other experience this is all they know. As your daughter grows and starts her own life she is going to experience relationships with other people and other points of view, she is going to have to live and probably in some instances be pretty embarrassed with her actions.

My SS has said some pretty unsavoury and rough things to us in the past, he's almost 15 now and sees some things differently, I do not hold him to account for his actions at a time when he had only limited understanding of what was going on around him iyswim:)

"she was texting my new wife who was pregnant with our 2nd baby saying she hope it rots inside of her and hopes we all die a slow painful death"

the above looks like what it is the rantings of a child who lives in an impossible situation of which she has NO control try not to take it to heart.