living together v marriage

lisyloo

Here, here.

What's the big deal about registering a hetrosexual relationship?
You don't have to have a big dress and cake if you don't want to.
Only requires 2 witnesses and a bit of form filling.

It's not even very expensive.

If you don't want to do it then don't complain about not having the right that go with it.
I totally agree with the last poster.

System

Maybe it's just me that thinks that marriage solely benefits the female.

This is the United Kingdom.

A man has a child with a woman, relationship breaks down, man loses access to child. Man's feelings, love for his son/daughter not considered by courts.

Man deemed unsuitable for custody as woman deemed more qualified to provide child with a decent upbringing.

Court in some rare cases orders woman to allow man access to see child. Woman ignores this, court does nothing.

Marriage aids the woman, there is nothing in it for the man.

I won't ever buy a house or get married or have children in the United Kingdom, as if a relationship I was in broke down, I would lose all three.

If I ever had a son, daughter, or both, I couldn't live without them. Safer for me not to have them to start with.

So, if you're a woman, press your bloke to marry you. But if you're male, just start counting the days until she takes everything you've got.

You just can't beat the fairness of the courts in England and Wales.

Part of this post was deliberately written in a short way, I can spell and form sentences, it was just me cutting down the length of my point.

trafalgar_2

Crikey,that's a very negative view of marriage.............thankfully we don't all think like that :-/
signed
Happily married for 21 years

yonk

Yep, huge differences between being married and not.

I used to get upset if people didn't think I was committed to my partner as we lived together. Eventually got married and whilst nothing has changed really, I feel more secure. It is, after all, a public declaration of your commitment to each other and other people do take our relationship more seriously now.

But a really good reason to get married is if your partner is in an accident, then you want to be the person that makes the decisions about what happens to him/her as his/her next of kin.

I spent £750 getting married - that fed and watered 29 people for a day and an evening and was enjoyed by the family & friends. Then we had a good holiday! But I'm sure if I did it again, I could manage on less than that!

I also think that if you have been together for years and split up, it can be as complicated as getting divorced but you can't get solicitors involved.

System

I agree that I have a negative view, but I've seen as I've grown up, now 23, that the man has no rights whatsoever.

Don't get me wrong, there are guys out there who don't deserve to ever see their kids. There are guys out there who couldn't give a damn about their kids.

But there are guys out there that love their kids and will never get to see them, and the courts do nothing.

I am disillusioned with the courts in this country when it comes to children when a relationship breaks down. This country has made me reluctant to buy a house - to begin with they are too expensive (that's another issue), but I would lose that house if I had children with someone.

There is no way I would have anything in relation to the sale of that house until my child/children are out of full time education. So, I pay twice, once for the house and once to find somewhere else to live.

Then I pay again because I don't ever see my children.

I would never give the UK Government the pleasure of bringing someone into this world who would pay tax when they are old enough to work, when they think nothing of me as a father.

I'm 23, unmarried, but in a relationship. I'm not a member of one of those fathers for justice things. These are my personal views.

I'm scared of being a father in this country.

It's about time the Government had a long, hard look at the law.

trafalgar_2

I absolutely agree with you.............it is weighted against fathers in favour of mothers :-/

And it needs to be changed because that is the only way it becomes right for the kids!

System

You make a good point trafalgar, my post does appear to give the 'I come first then the kids come second' impression.

I don't blame the courts if it is clear a guy is in no way fit to have custody.

What is best for the child is important. It isn't always to be with the mother.

She may have given birth to the child, but that doesn't mean she should automatically decide everything in relation to that childs life.

trafalgar_2

Absolutely , I have met some mothers that don't deserve the name :-/

Sarahsaver

Y
She may have given birth to the child, but that doesn't mean she should automatically decide everything in relation to that childs life.

If a father blatantly goes against what we feel is right then how far does he have to go before something is done to remove his status as 'parent'
im talking about violence, emotional and physical abuse, exposure to drug use and violent computer games.
Why can they do that and still be given rights as a parent?
Going back to the original poster if your partner is not a complete a*hole then why not get married? At least we could have a moneysavers' get together!!!

trafalgar_2

If a father blatantly goes against what we feel is right then how far does he have to go before something is done to remove his status as 'parent'
im talking about violence, emotional and physical abuse, exposure to drug use and violent computer games.
Why can they do that and still be given rights as a parent?

or a mother :-/