living together v marriage

jockettuk

after a divorce anyone who doesnt have all there finances in order want there heads read.. if anything divorce opens your eyes to what can happen if everything isnt in order so to speak....

Sarahsaver

after a divorce anyone who doesnt have all there finances in order want there heads read.. if anything divorce opens your eyes to what can happen if everything isnt in order so to speak....

i should be so lucky!
head reading or not your hands can be tied after a divorce much more than you realise. IF i ever did tie the knot again I would have my eyes so wide open it would need planning permission!

percytadi

Can't believe where this one has gone. I get very insulted when people patronise my partner and I, accusing us of not being committed. We have lived together for 17 years, that's commitment. We don't have to stay together. We do because we love each other. Neither of us are religious, nor require a government piece of paper to proove our relationship. My original question was asked for practical means only. I'm very pleased that homosexual partners now have rights in law, but what about heterosexual partners. The government obviously doesn't think very much of us. Please don't add insult to injury by accusing us of not being commited.

Sarahsaver

Have i missed something? ???
Im sure no one set out to offend you, obviously its great that your relationship has stood the test of time.

Maybe this is one for the discussion board...

Basically I think if you are both honest, and in it for the long haul, you have to be better off getting married, and if marriage is out of the question some of us would wonder why, or indeed why not!?

You must have a will, that I know for sure. But if either of you had kids they would take precedence legally over money if you are not married, as far as i know.

lisyloo

Please don't add insult to injury by accusing us of not being commited.

No-one has accused you of not being committed.
In fact the 17 years speaks for itself.

As sarah said - some of us would wonder why there would be an objection to marriage IF it exists.

There are many, many benefits to being married in financial terms so it isn't just a piece of paper.
Imagine being a widow or widower and not getting a penny of your spouses pension for decades - I consider that a little more than just a piece of paper.

In response to your question of - why?

Many of us are saying - why not? given the many financial and security benefits available.

You could potentially lose out on decades of income simply for not formalising your relationshsip on a piece of paper.
That doesn't sound sensible to me and I can't see why either of you would have any objection given that you are quite clearly commited.

16011996

:-[ sorry if offended you, i think that 17 years together is amazing. and you must be commited and in it for the long haul. in practical terms it pays to get married, but i feel strongly that marriage is a promise made in front of god to do all that said in the wedding vows, thats why i feel it shouldn't be taken lightly. Just my pertsonal opinion, and i wish you the very best of luck, whatever you decide. take care and be happy.

lisyloo

i feel strongly that marriage is a promise made in front of god to do all that said in the wedding vows

That is a personal opinion which of course you are entitled to.
However not everyone is religious (myself and the original poster included).

My marriage vows were not in any way religious and were not made in a church.
These days there is no need to have to go to church if you don't want to and the choice isn't limited to registry offices either.
There are some very nice manor houses, hotels etc.

In the eyes of the law (or society) there is no religious requirement for marriage although of course I respect your right to have your own views.

Marriage is sill very meaningful both legally and personally for people who are not religious.

likabu_2

Unmarried fathers do NOT automatically have parental responsibility by law, even if they appear on the birth certificate.

Actually this has changed, unmarried fathers with their name on the birth certificate do automatically have parental responsibility, the changes took place September 2003 (or 2002 can't remember!!)

I have been reading this thread with great interest as a 23 year old, been with my partner for 7 years, lived together for 4 years (mortgage etc.) Have seperate bank accounts each plus a joint account. A 2 and a half year old son and bub #2 due in 5 weeks.

Yet to post my actual "views" on this subject but will get there eventually!!!

Lisa

16011996

hi likabu, welcome, and looking forward to what you think,

160

frostyspice

percytadi, heterosexual partners do have rights in law, if they get married!!!

It's no good saying "The government obviously doesn't think very much of us."

The government provides a whole framework of law for heterosexual partners and you can take advantage of this. It is called MARRIAGE.

If you want the rights the law confers on married people, get married.

If you don't want those rights, don't get married.

Simple as that. The choice is yours.

You are just creating a two-tier marriage system if you want unmarried couples to acquire rights as well.

As for what difference it might make, it can make a lot of difference if you own your own home. The trouble is that a lot of people only find this out when things go wrong. Relationship breakdown, death of one of the partners etc.

Say you don't need the piece of paper if you like, just don't complain about not having it when you do need it.