Move mortgage mountain project

julliff

Thank you for posting:


DD1 came home this weekend, and she brightened up a lot. We had a lovely day yesterday shopping (not very MFW, but we bought useful and needed things, honest) and baking. I think she really needs to feel safe and secure with me, as she can’t get that from her Dad. So, I suppose sometimes I am just in the firing line, because she knows I will love her no matter what.

Today, she went off to her Dads house, so I am not really sure how that went as I don't like to press her for info. She told me she has done a lot of reading about depression in men, and she knows that when he gets very angry and shouts, its not really him, just the depression. I agree that he probably is depressed, but he has never been much of a Dad, or even a kind person. But I don’t say anything. I just try to be there for her. I want to be her (and DD2s) safe harbour.



Hopefully, she will go back feeling more settled.


Anyway, totted up recent "wins" for the purpose of OP:


Quidco: £7.70
Halifax reward £5
NW interest: £4.06
Banked coins: £40.00
Luncheon vouchers: £3.00


So rounded up, that was £60.00 which was paid in today


Was very pleased yesterday with the baking/cooking. Have been using my soup maker, and made enough soup for the whole week. Made butternut squash soup as they were on offer in Aldi - 49p. The whole batch of soup probably cost me no more than £1!


We also made blueberry muffins, blueberry smoothies (bluberries also on offer), and banana and oat breakfast cookies. It was very cathartic too.

norfolkdream

Yeah my ex is not much of a dad either, dont think he realises what he is doing to the kids. When they have tournaments/matches/school productions etc or even parents evening he doesnt even bother coming to watch. My DD said today that she feels like she is in the way when she visits him and his family. He never remembers their birthdays, I could go on and on lol.

julliff

Hi Nd,

Really sorry to hear that about your Ex, but reading your thead, you are doing a fantastic job! I know it can be exhausting to be the sole emotional support for your kids, so well done you.

I would like to say though, I have some male friends (I work with 95% men) that there are some fantastic Dads out there, which makes me both sad and relieved all at the same time. I really feel for a couple of them when their ex wives make it really difficult for them to spend time with their kids, or go mad when the kids get back 10 mins late becasue of traffic etc. I would dearly love my kids to have a devoted Dad, it makes me very cross! Rant over!

nattypants

Hi Julliff, I'd don't think I've posted on your diary before (although do read).

Parenting is certainly one tough gig at times, and when you're doing it alone, sometimes it's more of a full-on-out-of-control rave;)
Anyway, just to say that in my opinion, you are doing a tremendous job of it all.

norfolkdream

julliff wrote: »

Hi Nd,

Really sorry to hear that about your Ex, but reading your thead, you are doing a fantastic job! I know it can be exhausting to be the sole emotional support for your kids, so well done you.

I would like to say though, I have some male friends (I work with 95% men) that there are some fantastic Dads out there, which makes me both sad and relieved all at the same time. I really feel for a couple of them when their ex wives make it really difficult for them to spend time with their kids, or go mad when the kids get back 10 mins late becasue of traffic etc. I would dearly love my kids to have a devoted Dad, it makes me very cross! Rant over!

Oh definitely, I have a couple of male friends who do everything for their kids, it makes me jealous it really does.One of them his ex wife takes the pee out of how much he does for her. He pays way over the odds in maintenance and never complains as well as paying school trips on top of that while she spends her free time in the pub!!
They share time seeing the kids equally whereas my ex sees it as a chore. The older my kids get the less time they will see him as they have their own social life. Its his own doing.

You are doing a fantastic job, your daughters have been well brought up. They know you are their stability and also their shouting/sounding board. Better to do that than keep it all in.
My kids whine at me and when I tell them they should tell their dad how they feel they darent do it.

julliff

Yes, another hiatus from this diary, but have been trying to make small overpayments where possible.

I have been at work since 5.30am – it has been really boring. So, have decided to read lots of diaries, and post to mine J
(I am just here to support some changes – a bit like a fireman, they only need me if something goes wrong, so a lot of hanging about, but it makes them all feel better to see me here, rather than me be on call).

I am cross with myself because I really need to lose half a stone, and am struggling with it. Today has been awful as there is a room filled to the rafters with junk, and I have been scoffing, just to relieve the boredom (I have managed to skirt anything chocolately as I gave up chocolate for lent with a colleague, and I am a rubbish liar!).

The good news is that I spent about 3 hours cramming for my scuba theory test this week, and of course no distractions, so am feeling quietly confident now on that one. Had I been at home, I would have managed about 15 mins before being distracted by something or someone.

Right, lets see for this week:

Got a new sim only deal for DD2, which gives her almost unlimited anything for £5
which is a reduction from her 150 min deal for £7;

Got a new duvet set for DD1 – reduced to £4 but paid for with clubcard vouchers
so no spend for that;

Got £5 my cats food via a voucher from P*tsmart VIP club;

Right, after work, if I have the energy I will be making my soup for the week
(butternut squash) -- I love my soupmaker so much. It makes enough for my lunches for 4 days,
And I now never have to throw any vegetable away! Yay!
Also, my banana and oat cookies for snacks at work;
Loaf of bread in breadmaker

Will comeback later to update balances J


PS thanks ND, that was a lovely thing to say :-)

julliff

I am such an amateur, I have been reading loads of diaries, and I keep coming across things which I feel I ought to know about, but haven't the foggiest.

Things like "Tillies tidies" and "snowball spreadsheet"

hmmm....

FacelessNumber

Hi juliff!

Thought I would pop over to say hi! You have done amazingly well with your MFW journey especially considering everything else you have to deal with. You are very inspiring!!!

Keep it up

Eager_Elephant

julliff wrote: »

I am such an amateur, I have been reading loads of diaries, and I keep coming across things which I feel I ought to know about, but haven't the foggiest.

Things like "Tillies tidies" and "snowball spreadsheet"

hmmm....

Hi Juliff

Good to see you posting again.

A Tilly Tidy (TT) is named after a lady on the Mortgage Free Wannabee board called Tilly who started rounding down her main bank account by the pence and pound and paying this to mortgage/offset/debt. So if her bank account had £62.38 she will transfer £2.38.
Have a read of her diary - she is so inspirational.

I think the snowball spreadsheet is available on Martins guide to clearing debt, you enter all your debts, the APR and the minimum payment and it works out the best way to snowball your debts. (The idea being that as each debt is cleared the payments you were making to that can be paid off another debt and the 'snowball' gets bigger).

I did it once and it told me my Barclaycard would never be paid off:eek:

If I am wrong please forgive me!!

julliff

Hi FN

Thank you so much for your kind words. I don't feel like I could inspire anyone, I flounder a lot!

EE, thanks too, I will check out Tillys thread, and hopefully pick up some inspiration from there too. I haven't got any debts other than the mortgage, so the snowball thingie is not appropriate to me.

A busy week this week, and I have a ton of things to sort out. Last night I took my Scuba theory test, and passed (yay!), so now I only have my open water training to do before I will be fully qualified. For this however, I am going to need a dry suit, which will be expensive. But, I am determined to keep this up, so it will have to be bought.

List for this week:

• Book car service and MOT;
• Rearrange window and gutter cleaning (this is already paid for);
• Send old mobile phone back to Virgin for £17.00 cash payment;
• Take photos to sell treadmill on Pr*loved;
• Arrange start date for builder to do renovations to dining room;
• Pick up duvet set from Tesco;
• Travel to scuba outfitters to get fitted for drysuit.

Added to that I have DD1s birthday coming up, sisters birthday bash; neices wedding,


Am supposed to also be learning bridge, but can't seem to find the time to read the book, let alone arrange a game with my very patient friends.
Sometimes I do wonder why I push myself so hard :huh: