NOTICE TO NEWCOMERS - Part 7 !!!!!!!

handyman123_2

Hi all, I promised to tell you what sort of weekend handy has had? Well it was bad, I arrived Oop North round about 3am. Instead of starting work at aged relations house as planed on Saturday morning. Handy had to visit the A&E at the local hospital.
If you remember my post #3632 and the accident I had last weekend when I drank the white gloss paint. Well the old gastric departments not been that great since.
Saturday am I was doubled over with the gripes. I didn’t have long to wait to see the doctor. “How long since you’ve been” he said. About a week I answered I’ve been doubling up on the old five a day to try and keep things moving, for the last 2 days I’ve only eaten salad.
“Well I’m going to have a look” said the doc, “bend over” now this is the part I really hate, and why when men reach a certain age do the quacks want to keep checking your prostrate? I know where it is and would rather have it left alone!
Digressing slightly, I am reminded of Billy Connelly’s advice to men over 50.
1. Have a Pee whenever you get the chance, even if you don’t need one.
2. Never trust a Fart!
3. If you get an Erection, use it even if your on your own.
Anyway handy was bent over, the pain was excruciating after a few minutes I heard the forceps snap shut and the Doctor said “I’ve got it”.
What was it doc I asked. it’s a “Big piece of Lettuce” he said. OOH I said Have you got it all. The Doctor replied “I don’t think so, That was just the Tip of The Iceberg”.


Nice to be back, best wishes to all, handyman123

BorassicLint

Hi everyone :hello:

Just a quick hello and hope you are all well, been driving since 7am and have just got in so am kna*kered, so off to have a bath and bed, I'll catch up with you all tomorrow.

Happy Trollzapping:)

3Dogs

handyman123 wrote: »

What was it doc I asked. it’s a “Big piece of Lettuce” he said. OOH I said Have you got it all. The Doctor replied “I don’t think so, That was just the Tip of The Iceberg”.

Best one yet Handy :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Numpty_Monkey

I am not eating lettuce ever again:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Handy sorry I deleted the PM from niddy about when you was coming up north:(

Horace

What happened? Who stole our Fred? Was it Fermi? Come on own up who was it?:mad::eek:

handyman123_2

Handyman would just like to say to the members of this forum, in all seriousness that I just don’t come on here to muck about and tell my funny stories.
I have to admit that I do find it good therapy, and If I can give someone a good laugh into the bargain, then I feel that in some small way I am repaying the debt of gratitude I owe to MSE and in particular debtfreewannabee.
All these runs up North have been at a price, though now I have done as much work as is necessary or that I can afford to help my aged relation. It really has played havoc with my DMP. There will have to be a few extra NSD’s this month, not a concept I can get Mrs Handy interested in.
Tomorrow I have to negotiate a stay of execution on the electric bill, sort out the garage bill and organise an MOT for the old rolls canardly.
I hope to be off car booting at the weekend, hopefully that will put a few quid back in the system.
I have found notice to new comers and dfw a great source of help and inspiration.
Thanks to you all, to those whom I may have offended sorry.
If you want more stories just ask, I will try to keep them to under the watershed level.
Best wishes to you all, handy is off to take another vallium, see you tomorrow.:)

3Dogs

handyman123 wrote: »

I hope to be off car booting at the weekend, hopefully that will put a few quid back in the system.
.....................................................................................
Thanks to you all, to those whom I may have offended sorry.
If you want more stories just ask, I will try to keep them to under the watershed level.

IF we want more stories? - what do you mean 'IF'? of course we do Handy. We all look forward to them. If you can't have a laugh, you might as well not bother. We love having you on [STRIKE]our thread[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]your thread[/STRIKE] Fred.

Hope the weather is kind to you this weekend for car booting - it is no fun in bad weather says the voice of experience!!!

niccatw

Here here Handy! :T

I did contemplate sharing my ranting about my "supervisor" with you all, but we'd be on NTN 8 by midnight, so best keep up the yoga and let you all keep me sane(ish) with your stories and shenanigans! Pass me a valium, would ya' Handy!

My debt-busting has been atrocious of late and I can only put to down to not being on here as much as usual to help keep me on the straight and narrow!

I know it's bad when I'm avoiding my own diary!

niccatw

3Dogs, please do share your experience and some newbie tips with us - I have a bunch of stuff I just crammed under the bed 'cos I'm scared of doing a car boot (and even more scared of the time of the morning I might need to rouse at!).

But: I have stuff cluttering up my house; I have debts I want reduced pronto; I have a weekly car boot nearby. It's a no brainer really!

3Dogs

New page so time for one of these:

Over the last few weeks we have had a number of "troll" attacks on the boards.

What is a Troll?
A troll is a person that posts deliberately provocative, nasty or hurtful comments on threads. They may be a person with no previous connection to the board or someone that has created a pseudonym to get their point made. If you should get such a comment made on any thread you post, asking for help and advice, please realise this comment is not directed at you personally so please ignore these nasty comments and continue to post here as normal because the majority of us really are a lovely bunch – ooops, modesty!

What should I do if I get a comment made on my thread?
Firstly do not respond to the comment as this is invariably what the troll wants. So to get rid of the offending post, at the bottom of the post towards the right hand side you’ll see a red "Warning" triangle within a blue “Abuse” icon, as shown below:

Click the icon and then "send" the message which will inform the abuse team of the post, who will then review its content and deal with it as appropriate; sometimes even deleting the troll by making their status PPR’d (Posting Privileges Removed). Remember, this site is an asset to so many people, especially those that feels like their world is falling in around them. There is a wealth of knowledgeable people here all willing to help, whatever you do, do not let the comments of one silly individual deter you from availing yourself of the knowledge base that is on offer here.

PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE THE FORUM




It is testament to the work that Martin has done and continues to do that so many people give their time, knowledge and experience freely to others; without judgement, to lift people out of the depths of their debt crisis




PLEASE DO NOT LET THE ACTIONS OF THE MINORITY RUIN THAT