Disabled student with mental health problems having to quit?

caela_2

bestpud wrote: »

caela - I understand your frustration but I also understand mental illness. Sometimes people assume those of us with a more pro-active outlook have no knowledge or understanding of the problem but I can assure that is not always the case. Some of us have just found more effective ways of accessing what we need and know that sometimes means leaving our comfort zone.

You're right, of course everyone has their own problems and has learnt to deal with them in their own way. I don't assume that because people are successful or even because they are pro-active that they don't have any grasps of what it is I'm talking about. I know everyone has suffered some sort of stress or mental health problem in their life and I do usually adopt a pro-active view myself.

My point is that university has become such an area of stress for me and no-one seems to be acknowledging it. Not even family or friends seem to grasp that the reason I have been at uni for so long (I started in 2002), is because I have these problems. They nag me all the time, they've even made a running joke out of it. I'm so glad that the fact that I'm a failure is so ****ing hilarious to them, I'm so glad they nag me about it all the time cos it's just so inspiring, it doesn't make me sick of it all the more. I'm so glad that they understand the cure to my sleep disorder is to just get up on time and that the cure to being disorganised is to just get on with it and the cure to finishing uni is to just go in to lectures. All the while I was TRYING to be crazy! Honestly, I think sometimes I've just been beamed down off another planet and I'm the only sane one here :eek:

People act like there's nothing wrong with me, mainly cos I act like there's nothing wrong either. Who wants to put it up in your face all the time, I am normal when I'm having a beer down the pub, I am normal when I'm just chatting to someone, I am normal when I go to the cinema with my friends. It's not like I'm going to call them in the middle of a nervous break down and say 'oh btw you know I mentioned I was slightly crazy...'. They only hear about it when I tell them in passing, so they think I'm exagerating or making it up.

They act like I'm trying to make my life difficult by holding onto this image of OCD etc., like I should just leave that stage of my life and move on. I'm not trying to give my mental health problems pastures to grase in, I'm not encouraging them, I'm not clinging to them and shepherding them through to the next stage of my life cos I like the drama.

It's like people accept me on two different scales, I'm completely normal but I have OCD, the same way you might have a piercing. Mine is somehow less chronic than everyone else, I've even been told that it's not that bad, it doesn't really affect me, other people have it worse. At what point do they not relate my failed attempts at education with OCD? The fact that I don't have or can't keep a job? I'm always late to things? I never get anything done, I'm broke, I'm disorganised, I have no control over my life. Ah, but I met them down the pub, so if look normal, I must be. They put everything down to me just me being me. Oh, that's so typical of Caela, can't stand authority so can't keep a job. So her, always late for things, she'll be late for her own funeral. Still at uni? Ah, you're the perpetual student, you'll never leave the student life, that's just you.

People don't let you have mental health problems because it makes them feel like they'd be admitting your life is harder than theirs and somehow it will belittle their own problems. I don't have a harder life, I just have problems in different places. I don't want their sympathy, just for them to accept that some things are harder for me.

Oldernotwiser

caela wrote: »

I'd like to work in clinical psychology, otherwise this type of degree can be limited.

Have you any idea how difficult this is for anyone, much less someone who lacks motivation and focus?

Although the OU sounds suitable for you in many ways, I do worry that you're inability to motivate yourself and organise your work are particularly unsuited to distance learning study.

I'm sorry that both these points sound so negative but I'm trying to be realistic, which I fear you are not.

melancholly

i'd really look into what clinical psychology involves - it really is a course which needs attendance all the time as it's vital to get practical experience to qualify. just getting on a course is very very hard and most students do further study or a few years of work experience. most people who want to do clinical psychology simply won't get onto a course - it's really tough. if you can't attend lectures regularly then this just may not be an option. you simply can't do a placement-led course as distance learning.

i hope you can find a way to do the degree in a way which works around your problems. i think you should visit the university counselling service to talk about this - your posts indicate that you have a lot to get off your chest and the counselling service may be really helpful to just listen. you don't want to tell people about your problems but you want them to understand them and modify their behaviour....it's tricky and i think talking therapy may be helpful to help understand how you yourself can approach situations in a way that helps you to feel in control, but also lets you get the best outcome.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

caela wrote: »

As a disabled student it's important to distinguish this as a special case, where it may not be beyond reason for tutors to make individual contact with me. I'm not sitting by the phone, smirking as the lecture goes on and waiting for 'that' call. I'm struggling to make it to lectures and have made them aware of this, so the odd bit of contact just to check in would be really helpful. I’ve told them many times that at times I find it impossible to attend lectures and they also take frequent registers, so know I'm not there. It's not a matter of ignorance and if it is, I have asked student services to make them aware of the situation so they should know.

Lol, as for the rest of your post I'm not trying to be manipulative and don't go into a 'sulk' if I'm ignored. I feel de-motivated on the other hand when simple measures aren't taken to help me when I struggle enough with daily tasks. Not to mention I am paying tuition fees all the while and getting further in debt! So yeah, I can get pretty low because my education is circling the drain, I'm broke and in debt and without the prospect of a good job at the end of all this, it can be pretty depressing. I feel crushed and every time I reach out for help, I feel it's rejected and I'm left with the blame for my own failure. I can accept that I'm responsible for this, I'm the one who has these problems so I must be, but I can't accept the blame cos it's not really something I can change. I've been struggling against the tide to get this far and just need someone to cut me some slack for once.

Disability services were meant to keep in contact with me and with my tutors to make sure I get sent relevant information, but this doesn't happen. I have asked them to keep the tutors in the loop, but none of them seem to have been informed. [/FONT]

They can't wet nurse you through University though. Illness is illness, but it can't be used as a get out of jail free card for not showing up or doing the work. Identifying with the role of victim takes responsibility for your actions/inaction away from you and puts it onto an outside agent, keeping you in an almost infantilised state. The University is not your surrogate parent.

As an adult, you need to be proactive - outside University, you won't find the job centre chasing after you with money if you don't get around to claiming benefits. because it's made you anxious or you're worried someone might notice you have an illness.

I appreciate that you are not 100% well - has your psych given you any advice? Have you seen them recently and asked for additional support or medication? Perhaps CBT would be of assistance in addressing your feelings regarding your conditions and in your reaction to responsibility?

As an Open University student, I can assure you that all the support you are demanding of your current University is not there. The details of tutorial are online and it is your responsibility to find them. It is your responsibility to locate the tutorial places, get there, do the work and get back. Some tuition is online through elluminate, there may be some funding through the disabled students allowance for occasional telephone tuition, but it remains that the onus is upon the student to take ownership of their education.

You are expected to follow the work schedule whether there are tutorials or not. You are expected to do all the work and submit TMAs on time in the correct format without prompting. There are limited facilities to give extensions and the final cutoff dates are non negotiable.

Yes, some aspects of the tuition could suit you very well - it is possible to pass many modules without ever seeing another soul - but on the other hand, you miss out on the majority of social interaction that could be beneficial.


I think the OU is wonderful, but don't be under any illusions that it isn't hard work that you are largely left to get on with by yourself.

caela_2

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

They can't wet nurse you through University though. Illness is illness, but it can't be used as a get out of jail free card for not showing up or doing the work. Identifying with the role of victim takes responsibility for your actions/inaction away from you and puts it onto an outside agent, keeping you in an almost infantilised state. The University is not your surrogate parent.

As an adult, you need to be proactive - outside University, you won't find the job centre chasing after you with money if you don't get around to claiming benefits. because it's made you anxious or you're worried someone might notice you have an illness.

I appreciate that you are not 100% well - has your psych given you any advice? Have you seen them recently and asked for additional support or medication? Perhaps CBT would be of assistance in addressing your feelings regarding your conditions and in your reaction to responsibility?

As an Open University student, I can assure you that all the support you are demanding of your current University is not there. The details of tutorial are online and it is your responsibility to find them. It is your responsibility to locate the tutorial places, get there, do the work and get back. Some tuition is online through elluminate, there may be some funding through the disabled students allowance for occasional telephone tuition, but it remains that the onus is upon the student to take ownership of their education.

You are expected to follow the work schedule whether there are tutorials or not. You are expected to do all the work and submit TMAs on time in the correct format without prompting. There are limited facilities to give extensions and the final cutoff dates are non negotiable.

Yes, some aspects of the tuition could suit you very well - it is possible to pass many modules without ever seeing another soul - but on the other hand, you miss out on the majority of social interaction that could be beneficial.


I think the OU is wonderful, but don't be under any illusions that it isn't hard work that you are largely left to get on with by yourself.

Thanks for your email it has provided some useful insight into how the OU operate. However, I do reject your theory that I want university to 'wet nurse' me, I think it's slightly demeaning since I have never asked this of them. All I ask, which I don't understand how people are having trouble acknowledging, is that university email me as I asked to let me know of anything relevant to my course or even to reply to my emails with the information I have asked for. That means, emailing me once a month or so from student services to see how things are going and check up on the plans we have worked out, providing that they haven't heard from me. I also would like my personal tutor to email me AT ALL ever or to be of more help than to advise me to quit. This isn't an unrealistic requirement, in fact, it's mostly reminding the university to complete their own administration- they should be able to send informtion as requested such as MY EXAM RESULTS for last year which I asked for 10 TIMES and was promised would be sent in the post. This is active discrimination as a disabled student, because everyone else got their transcripts sent to them in the post and only mine were held back. This is either because they never marked my work (I proved this when I made them go through which courseworks they thought they had received and I actually had receipts saying they'd got more in than that and just not bothered marking them). They are VERY disorganised. One tutor I emailed explaining that I would be having difficulty attending the workshops I believed were currently running. She was well aware of my situation and my emails got more and more desperate as I tried to explain the difficulty I was having turning up and asking what I could do about it. Not ONCE in the entire SEMESTER did she email me back to say these workshops were running next term and I would have been able to attend them- despite me contacting her numerous times.
Also, the information on blackboard (the internet tool) is always wrong and when I was at uni, it took 3 tutors and one phone call to another tutor to even find out where my exam information was on this site. That is how bad it is.
I don't want uni to go out of their way, however it would be refreshing if they even did their own job, let alone provided me with any support. They fail to even administer a basic level of organisation, let alone provided additional support to struggling students. Everytime I ask them something, I am told to wait on average of two months before finding anything out. This is not acceptable, I was not told if I had mitigating circumstances to continue for nearly half a year, finally concluding that I did not have the extension and could have spent this time in work or at least not getting further into debt. They just need to do their bloody job.
As for it being my responsibility to go in etc., I do understand this however, I am disabled, meaning I cannot always fulfill this responsibility as it is beyond my ability. I only ask that they provided support during these times, however, the lack of support has propelled me even further into despration and worsen my condition so that I was unable to attend any further lectures, with being so behind with the work- basically, the situation snowballed until there was no way I could cope. If they had helped me when I asked and when the struggle began, I would have been able to exercise some control.
I started off quite promising and wish I had never told them about my disabilities at all, because it has meant they have basically ignored me altogether, safe in the knowledge that I won't be capable of complaining- well they can guess again. Forgive me for being so annoyed, but people's juvenille understanding of mental health is frustrating and whilst it could be understood that I can't expect everyone to know exactly what my problems entail, when their attitude is actually causing a negative effect on my life, it needs to be highlighted. I can't believe how slowly people are moving to accept mental health and it's problems- even the DWP themselves has only just, this year in 2010, altered their forms to address mental health as well as physical problems and they only even accepted mental health problems as a disability back in the mid 90s when an agrophobic took them to court. These attitudes are simply unacceptable. I won't be referred to as prolonging an 'infantile state', it's degrading and in no way reflects the struggles I have made to make this work. I am sorry to say but you are simply assuming I am a normal person with a juvenille attitude, however, I could direct this assumption at other people who don't fully understand what this type of disability entails.

bestpud

OP, I'm afraid the rest of us can see what you cannot, and if we can see it, I'd say your lecturers can too.

Have you had a read back through your posts?

Maybe you need to rethink HE altogether as I can't see it ever meeting your expectations.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

And you are becoming defensive and insulting in assuming that nobody else can possibly have any knowledge or experience of higher education, disability or mental illness. As you well know, it is also very rude to shout by using capital letters in a posting in this context. Not to mention that it makes you sound like a teenager throwing a temper tantrum.

So go on then, keep accusing everyone else of failing you and insulting me. No skin off my nose.



It is not the University's responsibility to chase you up about attending lectures you have already stated are quite impossible for you to attend. You've said you can't do it. So why would they be getting in touch telling you that there are lectures to attend? You'd probably complain that they were putting pressure on you when they knew you couldn't cope with it.

Your tutor tried to get you help. You now blame them offering you help for becoming more unwell and blame them further because they aren't helping you enough more when you didn't want their help in the first place and see it as responsible for the deterioration of your mental condition.

I replied originally because, as I have direct experience of the Open University, I thought you would be able to make a more informed decision knowing that you will actually receive even less support from them due to the nature of the distance learning system.


But, you know what, I think I'll say what is on my mind now. As it's OK for you to be unpleasant to me [albeit in an underhand, passive-aggressive manner], I'll be straight with you.


You're ill. You're obviously not up to studying at degree level when you are this ill. Which is unfortunate. The university can't change that fact as they can't make you well again. So forget about University for the forseeable future and get yourself back to the doctor. When you are better, it may be an option for you again, combined with adequate medication.


Sometimes people can't have everything they demand. I would like to be able to scream and shout and rage that I'm not going to be a dancer. But I'm not because it's a job involving training beyond my physical capabilities. Now I could state 'well, you have to accept me at the Royal College of Dance because I'm disabled and if you didn't that would be discrimination and if I can't actually go enpointe or jete across the room due to arthritis, you can't mark me down because that's not fair, especially if I tell you I'm never going to come in anyway and I expect you to call in every week with details of the things I should have done'. But that would be ridiculous. And a shocking display of poor sentence construction.


Self pity and learned helplessness is not a mental illness or disability. They are behaviours and attitudes that make living with mental illnesses and disabilities a damn sight harder though. I suggest CBT for you to learn how to deal with your negative perceptions of yourself and of others.

eira

I agree with the issues of Learned Helplessness. It is a truly disabling mindset. This can be helped with Cognitive Behavioural therapy. I am a great believer in building on- this is what I can do rather than- what I can't.

A suggestion might be to look for Psychology/Social Studies related courses at a college/local university/adult ed centre. There are a number of courses which are short and lead to a qualification. It might not be a degree, but some qualifications build towards further qualifications

Maybe what's important is to find something which is interesting and achievable.You may need to take into account journey time and distance. There are all sorts of interesting courses out there

MrsManda

Dear OP
I have long term illnesses which can affect my ability to study. I first went to university in 2003 and after complications with my illness I ended up first repeating then dropping out altogether. I was devastated but that's the way life works. It took me a number of years to be in the position where I could study at that level again but I got there and started a degree in 2008. 1st year went swimmingly but the 2nd year has been difficult. I've been in hospital a few times and have just had to defer my exams until later in the summer as I have developed a further aspect of my illness which is proving difficult to control. I am hoping that I passed the rest of my exams and will be well in time to take my deferred exams but at the moment I am not well enough to study.

You said that people had a juvenille understanding of mental health and implied that mental health issues are not taken as seriously as physical problems. But your posts overall seem to suggest that you should get special treatment because your problems are mental rather than physical. I have neurological issues which are kinda the inbetween of physical and mental as they're likely to have a physical basis but affect me both physically and mentally.

Whatever your illness, if you are not capable of studying at a university level either through inability to concentrate, motivation, pain, insomina, whatever, then you should step away and work on getting your health sorted until you are capable of studying.

It's hard, it's horrible, it's most definitely not fair but it is real life.

I hope your health improves and you can get over this period of illness but as much as I hate hearing it myself, your health is more important than your studies.

melancholly

i can only say again that your posts really have a tone that indicates you need to talk about your issues with someone. you need to separate the issues as it's all one ranting mess at the moment. i understand that there are lots of things you are unhappy with (and some sound very frustrating), but it's difficult to help someone who wants sympathy rather than practical solutions.....