CSA Re-assessment Advice

daska

RedSky wrote: »

Two people did the deed. Equality therefore says two people have equal rights if two people are equally responsible and not, which can currently occur, one person has automatic rights to choose that the other will only have a limited and/or financial responsibility.

You make it sound really simple but to ensure equality you have to ensure that one party won't be more likely to suffer harm than the other.

When it comes to a pregnancy only one party has to take the risk of the physical and emotional legacy of choosing either to carry and give birth to the child or to terminate the pregnancy. The impact of either choice can have long-lasting and serious effects.

The man can choose to take the risk and only suffer the financial consequences. The woman doesn't get such a clear-cut choice.

RedSky

daska wrote: »

You make it sound really simple but to ensure equality you have to ensure that one party won't be more likely to suffer harm than the other.

When it comes to a pregnancy only one party has to take the risk of the physical and emotional legacy of choosing either to carry and give birth to the child or to terminate the pregnancy. The impact of either choice can have long-lasting and serious effects.

Some have argued on here that both did the deed, both knew the consequences and both should accept the results. Termination is a personal choice. Being a soldier and going into battle is a personal choice. People have their opinion on both, there are alternatives and neither is right or wrong.

daska wrote: »

The man can choose to take the risk and only suffer the financial consequences. The woman doesn't get such a clear-cut choice.

Is suffering the financial consequences an easy option and do men not have any emotional legacy? Many female NRPPs will tell you a different story.

daska

RedSky wrote: »

Is suffering the financial consequences an easy option and do men not have any emotional legacy? Many female NRPPs will tell you a different story.

Of course I'm not claiming that no man ever feels emotional repercussions as a result of his choices. But the comparison isn't the same. Forcing a woman to have a termination because the man doesn't want to accept responsibility for the outcome of his choice to have sex is not an acceptable option. And, as a mum, I can tell you I'd much rather have my pre-baby body LOL

LizzieS_2

RedSky wrote: »

Two people did the deed. Equality therefore says two people have equal rights if two people are equally responsible and not, which can currently occur, one person has automatic rights to choose that the other will only have a limited and/or financial responsibility.

I can understand your point if a man used contraception to avoid a potential pregnancy. Question is, how could that ever be proven?

Blonde_Bint

PinkLady2010 wrote: »

Hi Guys

Need some advice.

My husband (before I met him) had a one week relationship and a month later she told him she was pregnant.
He told her he wanted her to have a abortion and wanted nothing to do with her anymore. Well she didn't have one. I don't know all the ins and outs but think it got a bit messy because she wanted him and to have the baby then out of spite when the child was born she contacted the CSA.
I think the process went on for months and months and after paternity tests etc he was deemed the father and was forced to fill in CSA forms.
As he was only a young boy at the time he was not working so he had a nil assessment of the basic £5pw. This was back in about 1999. He moved out of the area and he said he paid the £5 a week for a couple of years then stopped paying it. He was living abroad for a bit of time since then.

He has never seen the child, he was told from an old friend that she had a girl but he does not know her name or date of birth or even where she is or has been living.
Well.........................10+ years later (last month) we get a letter on the door asking for a re-assessment.
My question is seeing as he has never had any involvment with this child can he wavier all rights so he does not have to pay any maintenenace?
He is on a really good job now, and we now have a young family of our own. We have just brought a new house and as it is for everyone things are pretty tight as they are.
I just feel it is so unfair that he should be made to pay when he said from day one he wanted no involvment and did not want this child. And before anyone says well its his own silly mistake, yes it was I agree! But he was a very young boy, should he be made to pay for the rest of his life?

Advice would be appreciated so we know what to go back to the CSA with. He is also on the old pre 2003 system.

Hello there Pink Lady

I can see you've had lots of advice, just wanted to add a little something if you dont mind.

Ok, read all your post get where your coming from and your feelings are understandable, I get what your saying.

Now how about we go about it like this. Lets state the facts this child is here now, forget the ins outs and where for art thous:D. I like to take the facts and deal with those, also makes the task simple.

Your arrears could be worse (if they are the guessed amount of two thousand ish, you need to get a handle on your payments and keep up with them, however, unpalattable that may be if you dont sort out the child support and get paying it pronto I guarantee leaving it to get worse will be harder to deal with:) There are a couple of posters on here who are in financial mess with their child support payments for one reason and another and I can honestly say that of all the problems i've had being an nrpp i'm glad thats not one I have on my list. One poster on here looks at it like this in a couple of years time he can look forward to a 15 per cent pay rise:)

As to your problems with seeing the child we dont know how bad it is so thats your judgement to make not ours. All I can say is we have a crummy pwc and at one point we deemed it in the best interests of our nrps child to stay away for a while due to the things the pwc was doing.

Good luck there are those who understand your problems but also there are those out there who are unforgiving of a situation they themselves have never had to deal with:)