CSA Re-assessment Advice

RedSky

Soubrette wrote: »

However, are you seriously suggesting that men should have a say?

Are you seriously suggesting that a mother can choose to deny a father of his child, whether she chooses to abort or not let him be involved in his child's life?

Soubrette

RedSky wrote: »

Are you seriously suggesting that a mother can choose to deny a father of his child, whether she chooses to abort or not let him be involved in their child's life?

First, she cannot unilaterally choose that the father not be involved in their child's life - there is a court system in place which although not perfect, is slowly coming round to the idea that a) fathers can be good parents too and b) it is a child's right to know both parents.

I'm hoping to see more progress as time moves on regarding the above.

As to the second point, yes, how can a woman be forced to carry a child. If and when medical science moves on and a foetus can be viable without being inside a woman (either in an artificial uterus or in the male's body) then I would be happy to see a more fair system in place.

Like I said (and hear no response) things aren't fair at the moment, but they are the best choice out of a very poor selection.

BTW - we should take this to discussion time - it's not really relevant to the OP and poor Kitsamu will be forced to close the thread.

Sou

Loopy_Girl

Thriftysaver wrote: »

Mum24boys, I am a mother to 5 sons, a PWC and an NRPP. You will get great support from www.afairercsaforall.co.uk. You are not judged on there and you can speak to people who are in the same predicament. HTH.

Thriftysaver

Which is of course YOUR opinion and more than likely you think that because you are a NRPP.

Just like there are plenty who think that this site gives factual advice on things and have been helped enourmously by it.

AnxiousMum

PinkLady2010 wrote: »

She told him she was on the pill. It's unfair that she trapped him in this way. He got no choice in the outcome.

With me and him it is different, he is ten years older, we are married, lived together for 8 years and we sat down and planned to have a family together. With regards to financial support from him if we split up then no I wouldn't expect it at all! I have my own income, children do not stop women going out and earning a living themselves. If he wants to buy the children things he can I wouldn't sop that. What I would expect is for him to continue to be involved in my children's life.

Well, I hope that my sons never ever believe a woman who says she's on the pill, and makes sure that he takes his own precautions - as well your husband should have, particularly with a new partner with who knows what diseases! That aside.....I was on the pill with my eldest son - was sick - and subsequently the pill was not fully absorbed. Not something that I thought about at the time or I would've popped another......but certainly glad that I now have my son. Any man/boy who relies on the pill alone, particularly with a woman he has just gotten with - well, they're obviously thinking with the wrong brain.

Where you would expect your husband to be involved in your children's life - isn't it strange that he's not involved in his other child's life?

Loopy_Girl

At the end of the day, no matter what site is used and what 'support' is given, the answer will be the same that CS has to be paid.

Not very palatable for some NRPP's but there's nothing that can be done to change the rules.

Everyone will give an opinion and to be honest I think the comments have been pretty balanced.

Deepmistrust

PinkLady2010 wrote: »

I understand what you are both saying and yes I do agree to some extent but he trusted she was telling the truth and that mistake has such an effect on mens lifes.

The advice I really want is, is there such a thing as being able to wavier your rights to a child?

That's a really awful question, for the mother to his other children to ask.

In fact, it's so awful, I don't even know where to begin. *speechless* (doesn't happen often).

Loopy_Girl

Deepmistrust wrote: »

That's a really awful question, for the mother to his other children to ask.

In fact, it's so awful, I don't even know where to begin. *speechless* (doesn't happen often).

Hang around...we got loads of corkers here frequently!!

RedSky

AnxiousMum wrote: »

Where you would expect your husband to be involved in your children's life - isn't it strange that he's not involved in his other child's life?

Do you believe children should be raised by two loving parents who are fully committed to support and provide them with the best start in life?

If you know you are never going to be able to give your 100% then, given the choice, would you knowingly enter into a situation where you will only ever be able to do half the job and have a fight at every step of the way?

Would it pain you to see a situation evolve that you do not believe in but cannot change?

Is it still strange to understand why someone would decide not to be involved before it starts and then maintain that decision afterwards?

Loopy_Girl

RedSky, you have this discussion quite frequently and there is never a right or a wrong answer.

It's one of these moral discussion issues that you have at 3am after a party (just me then?!!!) and whilst you can't force someone to agree with you, I would hope that you can respect the other's viewpoint.

I don't neccesarily agree with your viewpoint on this but I do respect the way you put it.

chriszzz

RedSky wrote: »

Do you believe children should be raised by two loving parents who are fully committed to support and provide them with the best start in life?

If you know you are never going to be able to give your 100% then, given the choice, would you knowingly enter into a situation where you will only ever be able to do half the job and have a fight at every step of the way?

Would it pain you to see a situation evolve that you do not believe in but cannot change?

Is it still strange to understand why someone would decide not to be involved before it starts and then maintain that decision afterwards?

Redsky,

I think any man/woman who bring children into this life, be it through love, one night stand, both have a responsibility to this child/ren.

I really dont see how any can argue about an innocent life, who really has no idea its life is in the hands of two people who may/may not have its best interest at heart.

We know that there are less desirable NRPs and PWC but its suppose to be about the child, these children always do best when they know that both mum/dad love them.

Just because the NRP does not live in the family home doesnt mean that the child does not need that parent in their life. You have to make the best out of half the job, it will mean more to the child than you will ever know.