CSA Re-assessment Advice

Thriftysaver

I am also a PWC to 4 abandoned children.

RedSky

chriszzz wrote: »

Redsky,
I think any man/woman who bring children into this life, be it through love, one night stand, both have a responsibility to this child/ren.

The OP's husband knew the mother for one week. Can someone sensibly make a realistic commitment to raise a child with someone else they only knew for one week? Is that being responsible and fair to a child by gambling on what they know, or don't know, after just one week?

chriszzz

RedSky wrote: »

The OP's husband knew the mother for one week. Can someone sensibly make a realistic commitment to raise a child with someone else they only knew for one week? Is that being responsible and fair to a child by gambling on what they know, or don't know, after just one week?

Its not about the mother though, its about the child, its has your genes its apart of you, the only difference being, you dont love the childs mother, it would be the same child if you had loved the mother.

We carnt really just leave the child on the step (so to speak) because we dont like/love that childs other parent, its still your child, it has the right to be loved and cared for by both parents.

It might not be ideal but we dont live in the ideal world and at the end of the day this is a child who did not ask to be here living this life of rejection, we all have to face up to our responsibilities.

kelloggs36

RedSky wrote: »

The OP's husband knew the mother for one week. Can someone sensibly make a realistic commitment to raise a child with someone else they only knew for one week? Is that being responsible and fair to a child by gambling on what they know, or don't know, after just one week?

of course not, however, who in their right mind has unprotected sex with somebody they have only known for a week? Having sex with no barrier method really is unprotected as it is not only pregnancy that is a risk. Who in their right mind would rather take the word of somebody they do not know rather than do the sensible thing? it seems that the temptation to have sex with no condom is far too attractive for some men that they choose to believe anything the woman says! Common sense goes out of the window for that moment, but they soon have lots to say afterwards when the reality of what they have done hits them.

RedSky

Chriszzz, I commend your commitment to fulfil what you believe in as right and responsible. Personally I would not choose to bring a innocent child into a known disadvantaged situation. Similarly if a prenatal screening showed Down's Syndrome in early pregnancy I would choose not to continue.

RedSky

kelloggs36 wrote: »

of course not, however, who in their right mind has unprotected sex with somebody they have only known for a week?.

The use of contraception was not mentioned by the OP. Even if contraception was used the father's position does not change.

kelloggs36

The second post does - he chose to believe she was on the pill - extremely stupid decision.

RedSky

Even if the female signs a document to declare she has taken the pill or the male uses a condom, it still does not change anything. Regardless of who did what or who, stupidly, trusted the other; the responsibilities, rights and decisions are exactly the same. Some may view it different morally but nothing changes legally.

chriszzz

RedSky wrote: »

Chriszzz, I commend your commitment to fulfil what you believe in as right and responsible. Personally I would not choose to bring a innocent child into a known disadvantaged situation. Similarly if a prenatal screening showed Down's Syndrome in early pregnancy I would choose not to continue.

Redsky,

I am very happy with who I am as a person. I will always take responsibility for my actions.

I too would not choose to bring a innocent child into a disadvantaged situation but if I did by accident I would stand by that child because I owed it to them and to myself, now I dont expect ppl to follow the same suite but just look at all the agro, especially on this thread about children, money, contact.

It will always be the same argument until people take responsibility.

RedSky

chriszzz wrote: »

I am very happy with who I am as a person. I will always take responsibility for my actions.

Fortunately we are both content with our morals and who we are.

If someone takes away my right to choose then they have also taken away the right to hold me responsible. If a soldier kills by carrying out orders, who is responsible for the death?