Cost v's number of children

helpafriend

wigginsmum wrote:

What an appalling shame that you don't view children as individuals but as part of a clutch; I feel sorry for your children. Still, it explains your attitude to churning them out with no thought if they're all interchangeable like spare parts making up a unit and not valued for themselves.

You are childfree and therefore view children as a burden, not a joy. Until you have given birth you just don't understand the joy. Once you have felt that overwhelming love for a child, your body craves it and I am saddened that women, like my sister, deny themselves that pleasure.

She knows what it is like to hold a baby in her arms, that is why her attitude is so sad. I can understand why a childfree person does not get it as they have never felt it, but not a mother.

kate1976

helpafriend, you're having a laugh aren't you?!!

I have a friend who is childless due to medical problems, she's accepted that fact though and is now happy to be without kids (especially when she spends time with her nephew who is a little monster) As I've said before it's up to the individual whether or not they want kids, I have a son but no way do I want anymore, I don't really like kids (except my own) and I certainly don't get broody when I have a baby in my arms!

I don't see why you're getting so worked up about people not wanting children, if you want them then fine but leave everyone else to make up their own mind!

teb_2

helpafriend wrote:

Once you have felt that overwhelming love for a child, your body craves it

What i dont get is this..what is it that makes you so sure everyone should be like you? most people on this thread have told you your ideas are a bit dodgy but you still think its everyone else that got the problem. not everyone feels the same way about stuff and your trying to say theres something lacking in people who dont crave another kid after having one. :rolleyes:

btw, there a narcistic thread on the go in discussions you might wanna have a look at. :rolleyes:

wigginsmum

helpafriend wrote:

Once you have felt that overwhelming love for a child, your body craves it and I am saddened that women, like my sister, deny themselves that pleasure.

Is your niece or nephew invisible? Your sister has felt that joy. She's chosen to do it once. Once is perfectly enough for some people, and good for them.

And now, finally, we're getting to the truth of it - you're a hormonal junkie in search of your repeated 'fix.' and keen to force others to share your addiction. What a desperately sad woman you are and what damage you're doing to your children - you're teaching them that they're not enough for Mummy and that they need to compete. The best thing you could possibly do at this stage is make an appointment like your sister to be sterilised before you do any further harm, because you don't care who gets hurt and who has to pay in your narcissistic stampede.

black-saturn

Thats not a very nice thing to say Wiggins - deep breathe

wigginsmum

teb wrote:

What i dont get is this..what is it that makes you so sure everyone should be like you?

Because just occasionally people's brains get so addled on the child issue that they seem to be recruiting for a dangerous cult. What they really want is to deny freedom of choice to others and churn out clones of themselves. I personally don't want to live in Stepford, thank you very much.

teb_2

it does seem that the OP is shuttered off to any other way of thinking other than her own.

wigginsmum

black-saturn wrote:

Thats not a very nice thing to say Wiggins - deep breathe

I find this thread immensely frustrating because helpafriend doesn't really engage and debate or make reasoned arguments for her views (which is what leads me to think this is all some elaborate prank). If it were merely a philosophical debate that would be fine, but (assuming beyond expectations that this is a real scenario) children are involved here whose lives will be adversely impacted by her needs and choices. That's what concerns me. I may not want kids of my own but I don't like to see them hurt and made to feel that they don't measure up and they're not enough.

black-saturn

teb wrote:

it does seem that the OP is shuttered off to any other way of thinking other than her own.

And so are a lot of other people on this thread. All families whether childless or not go through periods of wealth and poor and a lot have to go through times when they are on benefit. It doesnt mean they will rely on benefit forever. When their children are old enough to look after themselves they will be working and paying taxes for another generation of young families.

cupid_s

helpafriend wrote:

I think Bill Cosby once said you are not a real parent until you have more than one. That is very true. If you are going to do something, do it properly.

I think this could be very upsetting for some people. My nan for example was pregnant with her second child at about 28 when she had a miscarriage and couldn't have any more kids.

Does this make her any less of a parent to my dad?

You don't have to do something more than once to do it properly. In fact as with most things if you do it properly first time round why bother doing it again?