Advice - Splitting Up!

pitdog

p.s hope you stuck one on your friendly neighbour, but you seem like too nice a guy so you probably didn;t(which is the right thing to do!)

seriously hope it all works out for you

hobo28

Hi Jordan

You sound like your where I was several years ago. Well done for keeping it civil with your ex.

First piece of advice though is that she is no longer your responsibility. Only your son is. So whilst you have good intentions, she needs to do these things herself. I went through the same sort of ideas as you ie. renting house etc. but it won't work. The only tie you need to have going forward is your son.

As time goes on, there will be incidents which will p**s you off. For example, her new man may discipline your son unfairly in your eyes or she may expect you to drop everything to look after son so she can go out. It may be a myriad of things so your better off getting hard to the split now. Her life is her problem now.

Will your ex work? Because if she doesn't, she may have a problem in that once you split the equity, she will have too much savings to qualify for IS. But thats NOT your problem!!! Just something to be aware of.

The priority is to sort out your contact/residence arrangements. Go for as much time as you can.

Was your son born before 1st Dec 2003? If so, now might be a good time to get your ex to sign a Parental Responsibility Agreement. Otherwise legally your just a walking wallet.

Finally have some fun being single again. I thought as a single dad of 2 and having little success with the ladies when I was young that I'd be single forever. Glad to say I was wrong.

vik6525

jordan_gibson wrote:

Thanks Vik - It's weird being single after 6 years! Can't really remember what to do - think I have lost the touch!! lol Fancy a beer :beer: lol

im in EXACTLLY the same boat! dont worry! But seriously, you really do sound like such a decent guy. If nothing else then you've restored this gals faith in men!

pitdog

vik6525 wrote:

im in EXACTLLY the same boat! dont worry! But seriously, you really do sound like such a decent guy. If nothing else then you've restored this gals faith in men!

you guys should meet up you'd have a lorra lorra fun !!!!!!!!! :wink

vik6525

LMAO! give the poor bloke a chance!

jordan_gibson

pitdog wrote:

p.s hope you stuck one on your friendly neighbour, but you seem like too nice a guy so you probably didn;t(which is the right thing to do!)

seriously hope it all works out for you

Thanks pitdog. Fortuantely, I am not the smallest guy around (ex rugby player), and even though it would have made me feel better for 5 mins, I felt that breaking his nose would have got me nowhere! I feel that my lad is more important and getting him sorted is my first priority. The neighbour will wait and I'm a big believer in 'what goes around comes around' - if you know what I mean

jordan_gibson

hobo28 wrote:

Hi Jordan

You sound like your where I was several years ago. Well done for keeping it civil with your ex.

First piece of advice though is that she is no longer your responsibility. Only your son is. So whilst you have good intentions, she needs to do these things herself. I went through the same sort of ideas as you ie. renting house etc. but it won't work. The only tie you need to have going forward is your son.

As time goes on, there will be incidents which will p**s you off. For example, her new man may discipline your son unfairly in your eyes or she may expect you to drop everything to look after son so she can go out. It may be a myriad of things so your better off getting hard to the split now. Her life is her problem now.

Will your ex work? Because if she doesn't, she may have a problem in that once you split the equity, she will have too much savings to qualify for IS. But thats NOT your problem!!! Just something to be aware of.

The priority is to sort out your contact/residence arrangements. Go for as much time as you can.

Was your son born before 1st Dec 2003? If so, now might be a good time to get your ex to sign a Parental Responsibility Agreement. Otherwise legally your just a walking wallet.

Finally have some fun being single again. I thought as a single dad of 2 and having little success with the ladies when I was young that I'd be single forever. Glad to say I was wrong.

Thanks Hobo - I see my ex and my lad as a package to be honest. She has (and still is) a fantastic mum but I am mainly doing all this for my lad. Thanks for raising some good points - i am sure I have got it all to come in the future!! My lad was born in July 2004 so as far as I am aware I have parental responsibility as well.

vik6525

you're an ex rugby player? ? ? oh this is just making me want that beer even more! lol

hobo28

vik6525 wrote:

you're an ex rugby player? ? ? oh this is just making me want that beer even more! lol

LOL, get a room! Ha ha, PM him for goodness sakes!!!!

jordan_gibson

vik6525 wrote:

you're an ex rugby player? ? ? oh this is just making me want that beer even more! lol

Stopped playing because I turned pro at golf - could not cope with damaging my delicate hands!! lol

...I'm just a big wuss at the end of the day and found it easier (and had less bruises) hitting a little white ball!! lol

ps.. I could just do with a beer as well! - even though it is Monday morning! :beer: