Funeral Flowers - Not sure what's right

Becles

Sorry to hear about your loss.

When my Grandad died, my Gran didn't want lots of flowers as she thought it was a waste. We just had one big family arrangement from everyone.

My Grandad did love his garden so I bought my Gran a rosebush called Remembrance and planted it in the garden for her. She loved that and said it was much better having something she could enjoy forever.

When she had to sell her house and move into sheltered accomodation, we dug the rose up and planted it in my garden, so she still saw it when she came to visit. She has passed away since, and the rose bush always reminds me of them both.

GobbledyGook

What is "right" in terms of funerals varies so much by family and even dependant on the person who died. My Nana was a huge gardener and at her funeral it seemed "right" to have some beautiful floral arrangements. My Grandad, however, felt that buying florist flowers was a waste of money so for his funeral I had a single rose for me and a single rose for my wee girl (who was only little at the time) to put on the coffin. I bought a rose bush of the same kind and planted it in my garden in his memory.

One thing is for sure I'd bet your Grandad wouldn't want you to be skint or struggle to find the money for something like a £250 floral tribute. I'd imagine most Grandparents would say to get something small because the biggest tribute you pay isn't in the flowers it's in your heart and your memories and the cash would be better put to a use that you will get a benefit from in your life.

Sorry for your loss x

NAR

Taliwillow, so sorry for your loss.

First of all, there are no hard and fast rules. I'm with Grandad though, £250 for flowers would be madness. It is a personal tribute from you and your family to him, keep the flowers simple and attach a card with a loving message from you to him. Your Gran will appreciate your words more than anything in the days and weeks after the funeral, when she reads the cards and messages from family and friends.

Pollycat

Taliwillow
I'm sorry to hear about your Grandad.

I personally don't like the idea of masses of flowers at funerals, I too think it's such a waste of money and would much rather donate to a charity such as a local hospice or British Heart Foundation etc depending on what the cause of death was.

How about having a word with your Gran and explaining your dilemma, I'm sure she would agree with your Grandad and not want you to spend lots of money on an arrangement.

Maybe you and any other close family (your parents, their siblings?) could get together and have just one arrangement.

lilac_lady

I don't like wreaths but love flowers. An informal bunch of flowers in season will convey the same message as an expensive wreath costing £250.

looby75

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your lovely grandad.

When my sister died we all clubbed together to get a sister arrangement (not my idea but went along with what the others wanted) and you are right they cost a fortune. We couldn't afford to get an auntie one off all her nieces and nephew so the florist suggested a single white cala lilly lying on a banana leaf with a ribbon of what ever colour we wanted and a card so the kids could all write their own messages, and you know what I actually think they looked nicer and more classy than the big sister arrangement. I'm sure your grandad would appreciate something simple and from the heart much more than something pricey and showy.

BTW I trained to be a florist and I know how much work goes into funeral arrangements so although they are expensive the florists doesn't make as much profit out of them as you would imagine. The flowers have to be open, which means they have to be bought and stored for a few days before the funeral (when flowers come into the shop they are usually tightly budded with the exception of chrysanthemums which is why they are usually a funeral flower) and there is a lot of wastage, only a few flowers per stem are used.

sueeve

Looking out into the garden I see Lily of the Valley, Bluebells and Lilac. Far nicer than exotic blooms. Why not make a little posy yourself of things that are in flower naturally.
I lead funerals, and I can assure you that the simplist things are the most beautiful. Something light and delicate, with love would pobably be just right.

GobbledyGook

Just had a thought, you can usually get lovely ribbon from the florist with Mum, Dad, Grandad etc on it, so you could still have Grandad on any other kind of wreath if you want it to be personalised like that.

mogadon

My Great Nan loved flowers but hated the waste of lots of cut flowers, if that makes sense. When she died we had one bouquet from the family with a flower for each person. So she had 3 children plus their spouses (my Grand Parents generation) so there were 6 lillies to represent them, then there were 10 people in next generation so there were 10 roses, then my generation had tulips, etc, etc then it was made up with greenery as well.

It wasn't very expensive, and it was relatively small for a funeral bouquet, but Great Nan would have loved it, and it meant a lot to us because we knew what it all meant.

Savvy_Sue

On Dad's coffin we had a wreath from my mum, a bouquet from we children, and a trug from the grandchildren. The funeral directors brought the bouquet and the trug back from the crem so mum had flowers in her kitchen for weeks, and the plants in the trug have gone out in the garden.