Funeral Flowers - Not sure what's right

taliwillow

Hello,

I am wondering if anyone could offer any advice. My grandad passed away very suddenly over the weekend and we expect his funeral to be late next week. My Grandad was very very important to me and I am dreading the funeral as I know it is really going to hit me hard then. I am told that there will only be family flowers as my Grandad wasn't a flowers kind of man so my Gran feels it would be inappropriate to have lots and lots of flowers there. I have been looking at the different flowers available and I am really unsure what sort of thing is appropriate from a granddaughter. I looked at the flowers that spell out Grandad but they are around £250 and as the only grandchild I cannot afford that on my own. I do not want to be tight in such circumstances but if I'm honest I think my Grandad would give me a right telling off if he thought I was going to spend that much money on flowers anyway. I don't want to get just a standard wreath as I feel that it should be something more special as he was such a special man to me and my children. Could anyone advise on what the done thing is from family? There seem to be wreaths, bouquets, posies, sprays and sheafs and I really don't understand which you are meant to send depending on your relation to the deceased.
Any help would be much appreciated.
Taliwillow

clairec79

Are there any flowers which in your mind connect the pair of you - for example if he used to call you buttercup then your grandmother would probably find a bunch of buttercups a nicer, personal thought that a huge wreath of lilies.

Did he ever buy you flowers? if so I'd try and get the same sort of flowers

johnswife

Hi,

so sorry for your loss.

My dad always used a walking stick so when he died some of the grand children had flowers in that shape. Other grandchildren just had a small posy.

I think whatever you decide will be correct, it's the sentiment that counts not how much you spend on the flowers.

AnnaLicious_2

Unfortunatly, florists really rack up the prices for funerals. But I assume there is a good reason, perhaps delivery costs and tight timescales to services?
I've always been told lillies for funerals. My ex-mother-in-law used to give them to me for my birthday though, so either they're more versitile than I think, or she was sending me a message (50/50 on that one).
However, when a friend of mine died when we were young the florist told me to do white roses and babys breath. I thought they were very pretty and elegant.
A funeral is a celebration of someone's life, so don't feel locked into tradition. It's very spring time now, so if you want a massive bunch of wildflowers to remember him by and celebrate him go for it.
I'm sorry for your loss.
x

lucylucky

If he wasn't into flowers then don't go mad getting something expensive.
Often less is more and a single rose/lilly or whatever can convey an awful lot.

newcook

is there something that your nan would prefer the money to go towards instead of flowers? Maybe a charity your granddad loved or even towards the service?
Then perhaps just get your grandad a single rose to put on top of the coffin.

kingfisherblue

So sorry that you have lost your grandad.

I was at a funeral on Monday and we sent a large posy from myself , my mum and my sister. It cost £35 plus £2.50 delivery from a local florist. Standard posies started at £20. It was a lovely arrangement and the florist was happy to provide specific colours if we wanted. So maybe something in your grandad's favourite colour, or the colour of his football or rugby team, might be appropriate?

McKneff

Youre right, i think your Grandad would be up in arms at you spending that amount of money.
What about a little posy, or a single lily or rose for the top of his coffin, then you could buy Grandma a little rose tree or a lily plant to plant in her garden.
And Im sorry for your loss.

fiscalfreckles

So sorry to hear of your bad news. Its horrible to have to sort out details like this when you are upset, isn't it?

If your Gran feels lots of flowers would be inappropriate, i'm sure that she (or your grandad) would be horrified at spending £250. If you don't fancy a traditional wreath, you can get some nice heart shaped ones that I think seem a bit more personal and demonstrative. They can also be made up in the shape of a letter, perhaps his initial? Or just a lovely bouquet. As others have suggested, you could ask the florist to theme it in some way, was there a favourite flower in his garden, or something that would have a special meaning to him? My Mum recently ordered orange day lillies for her sister's funeral, because her sister had red hair. My MIL loved country music & her holidays to the USA, so we got her yellow roses (of Texas). Or just pick something that you think looks nice. It is the sentiment that is important, not the show.

gingin_2

Can you go in and talk to a local, indepent florist to get some ideas?

We had similar with my OH's Grandmother and I ended up calling up her local florist, which happened to be the other side of the world (New Zealand) and she was brilliant in both giving me suggestions and guiding me on protocol and provided a lovely arrangement of her favourite flowers that was like a bouquet but set in that green stuff (can't think of the name, sorry) and it was placed by the coffin during the funeral.

Sorry for your loss, I sobbed the whole way through my Grandad's funeral, make sure you pop a packet of tissues in your pocket.

Amanda65

Hi, so sorry to hear your Granddad.

My Granddad always used to say "there's no point giving flowers to the dead and making some florist rich - you should have given them when they were alive"

When my Nan died 5 years ago, I did a posy from my family and myself and each of my children wrote a little card with a message for her. If your children are very young, perhaps they could do a picture?

Not a day goes by when I don't think of or miss my Nan but there's not a wreath in the World big wnough to express how I felt, so I didn't attempt to try.