How would we ask???

NEH

anderson8 wrote: »

i think its quite rude to call people crass when they have said that they are asking for contributions towards a honeymoon.
it seems that it is okay to ask people to pay the money to fly out to a wedding abroad, but not to specify a preference it wedding gifts on an invite

If you had read it correctly i actually said it was crass to ask for money directly

and as I said in my post if you had read it, that we paid for immediate family that couldn't afford it and the others could easily afford to pay for it....It worked out cheaper for some as I said than coming to a wedding in the UK....It was also cheaper for us to have it abroad as well....We couldn't have afforded a wedding in the UK in the current financial situation we are in.

I will say again Anderson that if the guests that did end up paying, had come to ours in North Scotland if we had chosen that option, their flights would have been double the price and so would their accomodation...

We thought about our friends and family and we actually saved them money by having it abroad...

We asked people to come, if they couldn't afford it then they were more than welcome to come to the pub with us when we got home....

anderson8

we are effectively asking for money in the form of a contribution towards our honeymoon.
we have been living together for just over 2 years and everything we have is new or nearly new so there is literally nothing we need.
my apologies for getting the wrong end of the stick.

iz007

zzzLazyDaisy wrote: »

When my friend got married they told everyone that the greatest gift they could give was their presence at the wedding, but if they wished to make a contribution to the wedding, please would they put the money in a blank envelope and place it in the box provided. The idea was that it would be an anonymous contribution and therefore wouldn't put pressure on people. In fact lots of people wrote cheques, or included a card, so they did know who it was from, but quite a few people made small anonymous donations which were just as appreciated.

I went to a wedding in France where the bride and groom did this and it worked well as no one felt obliged to give a set amount and as you say, some people prefer to leave it anonymous

deborahmcgeachy

we wrote our own poem, we loved it bout living together at first and money would be a more feasable option, it was very toungue in cheek but our family and friends loved it and we intend to write another 1 for our wedding memory box!!!

Alyssa_C_2

This seems to be a sensitive subject for some, but we are asking for contributions to our honeymoon and we are NOT having a 'huge' lavish ceremony either.
I read an article recently about this saying that the vast majority of newlyweds ask for this now as we have all mostly lived together before etc etc. Each to their own I say. I spent a fortune on my sisters gifts for her wedding and also a fortune flying to Sri Lanka for the wedding.... BUT this was my choice, I could have said I couldn't afford it or bought smaller presents.
This is an 'each to their own' and I think that should be respected, as appose to saying 'so - in - so doesn't agree with' blah blah blah.
btw @ laurajayne, Rudeness! Can't believe you never got a mention or a thankyou. I would have been a very happy bunny My auntie is making my cake and I can't thank her enough, she's magic!

tobeloy

Hi,

Me and oh were in the same position as we have most stuff for the house etc, I think it comes down to how well you know the people who are attending and if they would possibly be offended by your request.

We included the following poem in our invites and we have not had any bad feedback, we thought that the last 2 lines said it all as our guests coming to our wedding meant more than any gifts, and we were never going to receive enough to pay for our honey moon outright.....

hope it helps and good luck

Poem

We are sending out this invitation
And hope you'll join our celebration
if to send a gift is your intention
In modesty we would like to mention
We have already a Kettle and a Toaster
Crockery, Dinner mats and the odd coaster
So rather than something we have already got
You could donate to our honeymoon pot
But most importantly we do request
That you turn up as our wedding guest

Bride2be24

well thinking about it, most of our guests is family as its very large so i know they wont be offended. We have decided to do a poem and we have gone with

More than kisses just so far we`ve shared
our home has been made with love and care
most things we need we`ve already got
and in our home we cant fix alot!
A wishing well we thought would be great
(but only if you wish to participate)
A gift of money is placed in the well
then make a wish....but shhh dont tell!
once we`ve replaced the old with the new
we can look back and say it was thanks to you!
And in return for your kindness, we`re sure
that one day soon you will get what you wished for!

It is also very appropriate as we are having a wishing well on our big day