How would we ask???

superfran_uk

I hate poems, and I would rip it up if it came to me. They just make me shudder! Personal thing i'm sure some people love the kitsch-ness.
We're not asking for anything but saying money if asked by family, to friends I can't think of anything worse given that they're all saving for their own weddings and mortgages, so just said token gifts would be appreciated but don't go overboard.

rach_smarties

Has anyone tried thebottomdrawer.co.uk? I just found it when searching on google. It's an alternative wedding list company, gives people an opportunity to split a large item such as honeymoon or home improvements into smaller parts rather than asking directly for money, or else you can ask for charity gifts. We're thinking of using it as we can't think of that many things we really need so thought that charity gifts would be a good alternative. Just wanted to know if anyone else had used it before we set up our list?

mrsW2b

rach_smarties wrote: »

Has anyone tried thebottomdrawer.co.uk? I just found it when searching on google. It's an alternative wedding list company, gives people an opportunity to split a large item such as honeymoon or home improvements into smaller parts rather than asking directly for money, or else you can ask for charity gifts. We're thinking of using it as we can't think of that many things we really need so thought that charity gifts would be a good alternative. Just wanted to know if anyone else had used it before we set up our list?

We're using them and I think they are really good. They do supply you with gift cards so you can attach them to the invites and you are able to amend your gift page as many times as you like. We've booked our honeymoon through Top Drawer and so we don't have to pay the set-up fee.

BarbC

One of my workmates is getting married soon and on the bottom of her invite has put "Your presence at our wedding is the most important thing to us, but if you do want to give us a present, we would greatly appreciate a contribution towards our honeymoon". Which I thought was very nicely put.

aimee21j

Hubby and I had lived together for five years, yet didn't ask for anything at all. I personally am in the 'hate the poems' camp and find them rude. Lots of people asked us what we wanted, and we said nothing. We felt very special that we had a gift from most people and as it turned out, all of our wedding presents were monetary amounts.
If your guests know you, they will know that you live together and probably have everything you need and want.

Artytarty

As a gues I find it hurtful that the bride and groom only want money.
Is there no room for sentiment anymore?
I would like to give my friend something that she and her husband can associate with us and their wedding day.
She has asked our daughter to sing at her wedding and wants to know what to get her as thank you gift.
Is it OK for me to say "she'd rather have the money", in fact shall I just deduct it from what we were going to give you?
Grrrrr...I feel like I am buying a ticket to the wedding.

gingerbeer

I've not asked for anything as I feel cheeky and the people who are coming to the ceremony/meal know that we have lived together for 8 years and have everything. Some have asked me what I want so i have told them I didn't ask as I just wanted them to share my day.
Having said that I don't mind receiving a money poem, personally i just feel cheeky asking myself..

faerie_girl

We haven't asked for anything as we both feel too cheeky in doing so. One set of Grandparents asked us to have a think about what we would like a few weeks ago. I think we will ask for a bird table as my Grandad is a really keen ornithologist.
My other Grandparents (well Nan) said they would buy our cake but we are having a lowkey wedding and will be getting something from the highstreet.
Money would be so handy (we desperately need a new mattras) but we can't bring ourselves to ask for it directly!

Kay_Peel

Personally, I cringe when those poems arrive.

It puts me in a dilemma. How much shall I give them? How much are they expecting? How much are other people giving them? I'd be so embarressed to get it wrong and yet there's no real guideline for us guests on how to respond. I never get it right - I go over-the-top or I come across as a tight wad, I'm sure.

You know where you are with a wedding list. I'm delighted when the couple refer me to their John Lewis Wedding List which usually includes items that suit most people's budgets. A group of friends can get together and share the cost of an expensive item or a single person can find something affordable.

A friend of mine has a formula for working out how much to give. She finds out how much the venue charges per head for the wedding meal and writes a cheque for that amount - but I feel awkward and non-plussed by the whole thing.

I don't mind giving money, (although I'd prefer to take a present with me), but I just want to know what everyone else is giving, to be honest.

shazziere

We have just received an invite for a wedding including a poem basically asking for money for the "honeymoon fund".I did not have a problem with this until I turned the card over and on the other side they have given the bank account details of the account they would like money to be transferred into!I personally think this is a step too far but maybe it just makes things easier?