Stormy Saturday/Sunday (8/9th May) DFW Daily Chat

katsu

Buffy, we value you and appreciate you.

I've printed out, and read, my report and am going to settle down with my laptop to do a couple of hours on it.

schoolrunmum

He said his wife had smashed it,and called his office to tell him,but he was in a meeting. He only picked the message up minutes before DH arrived there-sounds plausible enough, but DH says there wasn't a trace of broken glass near the frame, so either his wife had done a fab job of cleaning it all up, or it had been broken some time previously...

Buffythedebtslayer

ZTD wrote: »

Whatever happens will always be your fault, and whatever you do will never be good enough, because that's how your mother controls you. She provides shame, guilt, and low self-esteem, so you always feel you have to prove yourself. And of course you receive a dose of shame, guilt and low self-esteem in return, just so the circle doesn't break.

She wants someone to look after her when she gets older, and the person she has chosen is you. If that means you have to throw away the best years of your life, well - that's what daughters are for.

At my worst moments I think sort of along those lines, not quite so harshly I grant you! but similar.

I don't know how to balance the two, my life and my responsibilities......I have got better, I go out more and have made it clear I don't want dinner every night and I don't spend every evening in etc. Its a bit of battle tho- in my head I mean.

Its a work in progress and as we have different priorities on days like these it is difficult.

xxxx

sammy115

Buffy if you weren't you and you didn't care about your mother, nothing she said or did would hurt you or affect you. You do care about her but you are going to have to learn to 'deal' with your mother the best way you can for both of you.

Maybe it is you who has negative thoughts about yourself and when your mum says something you take it the wrong way. I know that I do the same thing with my OH - I take what he says as criticism cos I want everything to be perfect.

I don't think I am explaining myself very well, but I think I mean you need to strike a balance between making yourself happy and looking after your mum.


Hi peeps by the way..xx

ZTD

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

At my worst moments I think sort of along those lines, not quite so harshly I grant you! but similar.

Harsh? Moi? :A

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

I don't know how to balance the two, my life and my responsibilities......

What do you mean by your "responsibilities"? Be specific...

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

I have got better, I go out more and have made it clear I don't want dinner every night and I don't spend every evening in etc. Its a bit of battle tho- in my head I mean.

Have you brought anyone back? That'll be a fun day...

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

Its a work in progress and as we have different priorities on days like these it is difficult.

xxxx

How much do you compromise? How much does she compromise?

sammy115

scaredy_cat wrote: »

Debenhams have some nice petite tops

I read that as petit pois!

Bunnyinthelights

BB-I think if I start to say anything now about your 'OH' I will upset you, suffice to say, he is a !!!!!! of the highest order...and thats me holding my tongue and being nice.

Buffy-((hugs)) You need to move out, but you know that already...

I have lost my black pashmina as well! How weird...

spud30

Coooeeeeee :hello:

ZTD

Bunnyinthelights wrote: »

I have lost my black pashmina as well! How weird...

Perhaps they've both eloped...

Bunnyinthelights

Hi Spuuuuuuuuuuudly!