Really need some advice

Humphrey10

smj43 wrote: »

I'm sorry but there is no way that is going to happen. My girlfriend would never murder our child, and I would never let her do it.

You'd force your girlfriend to carry the pregancy to term, even if she didn't want to?! omg! What would you do, lock her up so she was never out of your sight? I hope for her sake she gets out of this relationship right now, you sound like a very controlling, very selfish person.

KPR11

castortroy28 wrote: »

I actually live in London at the moment so I shall try to help other people understand about living in London first.

No one has ever questioned how expensive london is BUT when you are seeking help, as the OP is, and there are cheaper alternatives available, which there are, then IMHO the OP has a responsibility to minimise the cost.

If there weren't any alternatives then by all means BUT there are and the alternative isn't a council estate run by gangs [that he can do for £400 pm for a 2 bedder (yes even in London)]. The alternative is what I regard as very good areas.

castortroy28 wrote: »

It is expensive I agree. And contrary to most posters here, 1200-1300 isnt that expensive depending on what area you live in for a two bed flat.

With all due respect that is stating the obvious. If he were to seek a flat in Mayfair he will need more than £1300 pm just for a parking spot.

smj43

Humphrey10 wrote: »

You'd force your girlfriend to carry the pregancy to term, even if she didn't want to?! omg! What would you do, lock her up so she was never out of your sight? I hope for her sake she gets out of this relationship right now, you sound like a very controlling, very selfish person.

Of course I would let her if that's what she really wanted to do. What I meant is that I would never make her do it. We both made the decision to keep it as we are both against abortion.

In response to the post about getting a 1 bedroom flat, it is an avenue I am looking at. Obviously that is probably the best thing to do for the time being.

And it won't be in SE London I'm afraid. There is no way to persaude me. I would rather sleep under London bridge. Maybe I am being a little fussy about certain areas of London. Obviously I don't want to live in an area where I will feel threatened or scared. I do need to start looking at cheaper areas instead of ruling them out straight away though.

ILW

smj43 wrote: »

e time being.

And it won't be in SE London I'm afraid. There is no way to persaude me. I would rather sleep under London bridge. Maybe I am being a little fussy about certain areas of London. Obviously I don't want to live in an area where I will feel threatened or scared..

Sorry but you are coming over like a spoiled little rich kid, which may be close to the truth.
I believe there are over a million people living in SE London and I think the survival rate is probably better the 50%

R0bert_Sterling

ILW wrote: »

Sorry but you are coming over like a spoiled little rich kid,

Rich kids are errr... Rich

This guy hasn't got a pot to pi$$ in but simply thinks he SHOULD be rich.

"Rub shoulders with Council House Vermin??? Not on your Nelly" come the words, "I deserve to be looked after".

fleagle21

smj43 wrote: »

And it won't be in SE London I'm afraid. There is no way to persaude me. I would rather sleep under London bridge. Maybe I am being a little fussy about certain areas of London. Obviously I don't want to live in an area where I will feel threatened or scared. I do need to start looking at cheaper areas instead of ruling them out straight away though.

Seriously, don't write off a whole area, go and have a look. Me and hubby bought a house in an area that usually gets a few raised eyebrows, but it's a really nice little row of the estate, the neighbours are lovely and it's quiet. And the house was a steal! So keep an open mind.

PaisleyPPL

OP: what i dont understand is you start off saying that you have no-one to help you, no family members that can help with some kind of financial support untill you get on your feet. Yet you state that you come from a good area and your parents are well educated and own their own home; im assuming that as you are around 18, then your parents will probably be still working; why cant they help you abit or can you not stay with them for a while, live between their house and your girlfriends house? not ideal but beggers cant be choosers????

As for your statements about abortion, AND I KNOW WHAT IM ABOUT TO SAY IS GOING TO BE SLAMMED, but when i was in my second year of uni i fell pregnant by accident, my partner was also a student, i took the desicion that i would rather not bring a child into this world which i could not support, and i was not going to force others to pay for my child. believe me its not easy, and was still the hardest thing i ever did but its all to easy to have a kid and give up work for benefits (not that everyone does that).JUDGE ME AL LYOU WANT BUT I KNOW I DID THE RIGHT THING. Do you think its fair to bring a child into this situation???

fleagle21

PaisleyPPL wrote: »

AND I KNOW WHAT IM ABOUT TO SAY IS GOING TO BE SLAMMED, but when i was in my second year of uni i fell pregnant by accident, my partner was also a student, i took the desicion that i would rather not bring a child into this world which i could not support, and i was not going to force others to pay for my child. believe me its not easy, and was still the hardest thing i ever did but its all to easy to have a kid and give up work for benefits (not that everyone does that).JUDGE ME AL LYOU WANT BUT I KNOW I DID THE RIGHT THING. Do you think its fair to bring a child into this situation???

You should not be slammed for this AT ALL. IMHO, you did the responsible thing given your situation - if you know that you cannot provide for that child, and it would have a poor quality of life, it's more unfair to keep it. Very brave decision

smj43

fleagle21 wrote: »

You should not be slammed for this AT ALL. IMHO, you did the responsible thing given your situation - if you know that you cannot provide for that child, and it would have a poor quality of life, it's more unfair to keep it. Very brave decision

Each to their own I guess but the way I see it is what happens, happens. There is no point in messing around with nature. I wouldn't have wanted my parents to kill me just because they didn't have much money.

I went for a nice drive around SE London today, and it turns out there are some nice looking neighbourhoods around there. It's something that still has to be looked into, I mean if the rent is cheaper, so is the LHA and council tax rates could be higher.

And please stop being so harsh on me. There are alot worse in the world. I want to save for my own deposit. I could go to the council and ask them to pay it. At least I DO work, I don't refuse to and prefer to live on benefit. At least I am standing by this child and my partner and not walking away and letting the government pay maintenance. I am not a 'spoiled rich kid' as quite rightly, I am not rich. I live in Tooting not Mayfair.

ILW

smj43 wrote: »

I went for a nice drive around SE London today, and it turns out there are some nice looking neighbourhoods around there. .

From you earlier posts I am surprised you made it out alive.
To be honest you are just as likely to get a kicking in Tooting as you are in Lewisham.