Please help, friends boyfriend wrote off my car!

InaPickle

Melly35 wrote: »

As for my mum, well finally plucked up courage to tell her today (over the phone before 1 of my sons told her) & she was actually really good about it & to my biggest surprise (once she'd calmed down) said...its only a car!!! Surprised isn't the word for it, proud is getting nearer to the word

Bless...silver linings and all that!

Melly35

Called down at my 'friends' house earlier & she had a house full as always but was still v apologetic, said we need to speak asap when house quieter (with her BF there etc etc), so I left & there he was walking down street, I asked him why he was letting her take the blame & he started shouting at me (in my face), he's prob at least a foot taller than me & to say I was intimidated & frightened is an understatement (I'm normally so vocal!), he stood there denying he was driving even though there were 3 witnesses (inc my friend), all I asked for was an apology??? As I walked away (as was only thing I could do) he's shouting obscenities at me??? If I wasn't so intimidated I'd have answered back (& before you ask my friend hid inside her house...no way she didn't hear!!!)

Melly35

InaPickle wrote: »

Bless...silver linings and all that!

God I know, although I'm still stunned but so very very grateful

diable

Melly35 wrote: »

Called down at my 'friends' house earlier & she had a house full as always but was still v apologetic, said we need to speak asap when house quieter (with her BF there etc etc), so I left & there he was walking down street, I asked him why he was letting her take the blame & he started shouting at me (in my face), he's prob at least a foot taller than me & to say I was intimidated & frightened is an understatement (I'm normally so vocal!), he stood there denying he was driving even though there were 3 witnesses (inc my friend), all I asked for was an apology??? As I walked away (as was only thing I could do) he's shouting obscenities at me??? If I wasn't so intimidated I'd have answered back (& before you ask my friend hid inside her house...no way she didn't hear!!!)

what a pr1ck

200888

Melly35 wrote: »

The friendship has ended & she was a very good friend (or so I thought), so i'm a car down (& 2 grand), a friend down & I've still got a bill to pay, but surely as I wasn't driving the car & I didn't crash it I don't have to pay the towing/storage costs?

if the friendship has ended why dont you shop her and her boyfriend then? you have nothing to lose, why are you letting her lie and get away with what they have done?

by reading some of your responses on page 2 you dont seem to know that much and are quite naive, like you didnt know fully comp was 3rd party for other cars, you didnt know you dont have to wait for you licence to come through to drive

you need to be more pro-active with things like this in future if you are to drive and make sure you check stuff out first before you do it - a quick google search wouldnt go a miss...

also, something else which is a bit fishy... you have been 'friends' with this person for 22 years, how old are you? knowing someone for 22 is different than being able to fully trust them, are you like 25 and been 'friends' since you were 3 or something like that? your mum bought you the car so you cant be that old.... i think you need to mature a bit tbh, im 21 and i would never get myself in a situation like this... lending my car to someone who has ther own car....why!? shouldnt alarm bells have been ringing?

im not saying this just to have a go for no reason, what im saying is that this situation is partly your fault, when you lend someone your car you are totally out of control with what they do with it, you should know better, what does your mum think about spending £2000 as a gift for you yet somone else driving it? what does she think of this whole mess? its her that bought the car...

if you post things on a forum, people will tell you if its your fault or not, you cant expect not to be critisized if its your fault - you asked for advice and some people will say it shouldnt have happened in the 1st place or there was something you could have done differently.... im just hoping that you use this experience as a maturing process and get a wake up call about people and life in general and not put so much trust in people...

also, when people post situations on a forum, people need to judge wether its actually real or a made up story so people will ask questions and ask why this or that to see if it appears genuine...

again i dont know how old you are but saying "i didnt know" all the time to every question isnt a valid excuse as an adult, you could have found out if you actually wanted to

200888

keys wrote: »

Oh Dear ........ What a situation you are in , through none of your own fault

are you for real? of course it is her fault, she lent the car to her 'friend' when she clearly had no idea what she was doing and what the situation was.... it is her fault and should take some responsibility for it

if the car was stolen and someone crashed it wouldn't be her fault - how can you say that lending your car to someone and they crash it and say it wasnt their fault...maybe they shouldnt be lending their car out..

i know the OP "didnt come her for critizism" but this is a forum and you cant pick and choose the responses you get - welcome to reality...

basically my point is, this shouldnt have happened in the 1st place, what if they had crashed into someone else during the accident!!?? people could have been killed!, this is a very serious situation and my point if the OP doesnt really have many rights because she consented to the car being driven by someone else - yes she didnt give permission for the 'friend's' boyfriend to drive it but thats her own fault for lending her car away in the 1st place - my points are entirely valid, im not saying it for no reason, im just giving the situation a different angle (and one that other people are likely to think) rather than the 'poor me' version

i dont have a degree in psychology.... but am i the only one thinking here that this all kind of adds up.... like you an kind of see by the OP's responses how they would have got in a situation like that in the 1st place?

200888

Melly35 wrote: »

I left & there he was walking down street, I asked him why he was letting her take the blame & he started shouting at me (in my face), he's prob at least a foot taller than me & to say I was intimidated & frightened is an understatement (I'm normally so vocal!), he stood there denying he was driving even though there were 3 witnesses (inc my friend),

you all sound like a bunch of chavs to me, and who are these 3 witnesses?

i keep responding as im still going through the whole thread (finished now) im finding it hard to get an idea of how old you are

1) you have been 'friends' with this person for 22 years

2) you have several children, and 1 of them being old enough to tell your mum about the accident

3) yet you are young enough that your mum bought you a car...?

this sounds really, really odd to me... it just doenst seem to add up

sam1970

200888 wrote: »

you all sound like a bunch of chavs to me, and who are these 3 witnesses?

i keep responding as im still going through the whole thread (finished now) im finding it hard to get an idea of how old you are

1) you have been 'friends' with this person for 22 years

2) you have several children, and 1 of them being old enough to tell your mum about the accident

3) yet you are young enough that your mum bought you a car...?

this sounds really, really odd to me... it just doenst seem to add up

totally agree...I think the OP is either lying and the whole story is fake or have some degree of learning difficulty to let herself in such situation eventhough she is mature enough to have several children...what a wast of time was following this thread

shellsuit

Where does the OP say she has several children?

And she could be 24, and have been friend with this person since she was 2. Or she could be 35 like her user name suggests. Or she could be 58. I don't see what her age has to do with anything.

And why do you have to be a certain age for Mum to buy you a car?

My Dad bought us a car a couple of years ago and Im 34!


ETA : The OP says she told her Mum herself, so what thread are you reading?

gilbert_and_sullivan

DKLS wrote: »

That is pitiful behaviour from your friend, and as for the BF he should man up and do the honourable thing.

.

Sorry i did laugh at that sentence, not at you or your suggestion i hope you realise but the very notion that such a chav would have any spark of honour in his make up.
I have a mental picture of some knuckle dragging boneheaded neanderthal barely able to stand on his hind legs, i hope it doesn't procreate.

To the OP, sometimes things happen that make you realise the true value of a friend, i think you've found out the hard way the real nature of this one....who's boyfriend complements her perfectly.
You're better off without the pair of them, and i agree with several sentiments expressed above, make life as difficult as possible for the pair of them over this episode, they have no honour or morals and deserve no sympathy.