How does anyone do it?

Miss_Penny_Pincher_2

Nana! Off the train now!!

cupid_stunt wrote:

good luck with your wedding miss penny pincher!
i can't believe people are telling you how to have your big day.

tell your friends you're wearing the boots and that's it. they can't insist you spend your money on anything!
we got married 2 and a half years ago and i can tell you i took no nonsense from anyone. if someone had complained about the day i chose to have it on i would have honestly told them to f*ck off and not bother coming (i'm really polite obviously) and that'd been £30 i saved per person! ...

We had wedding cars for me, bridesmaid and dad and one for hubby and best man (we live 15 miles from the church so really needed one) it features on 2 of the 50 wedding photos but neither are the ones we had enlarged and display so no-one ever really sees it. Don't have one just so it can be on a couple of photos.

Thank you, cupid. I like your attitude and wish I could take no nonsense! I nearly did say to people that they don't have to come!! The people who were complaining about the wedding being on a Thursday are people who are retired whereas people who do need to book a day off work have been happy to do so!! I agree with you about not having wedding cars - we don't know anyone with a fancy car so will probably just go in Mr Pinher's sister's landrover it is practically brand new though and she said she will put ribbons on.

In addition, I included information about accommodation etc in the invites. I pointed out that all of downstairs where the wedding will be is wheelchair accessible but the hotel is a Grade II* listed tudor hall built in 1487 and they have not been permitted to make adaptations for a stairlift or elevator so the upstairs where the bedrooms are isn't accesible. My soon-to-be father-in-law phoned the hotel and had attacked them and said he'd reported them. The assistant manager phoned me quite upset about it! I don't think I can do anything right. We didn't think he and his wife would want to stay over and have offered to find alternative accommodation nearby!

Destined_to_be_skint

It's amazing that your wedding turns into everyone else's wedding too! I have watched several friends go slowly mad trying to please everyone, so it's best not to bother. On the other hand I did get annoyed with my friend who spent about £2500 on her wedding outfit, who then told me to go out and buy a pair of shoes to match the bridesmaid dress as she couldn't afford it.

I've looked at my costs again and have got it down to about £4000 but it's amazing how it all adds up, even the little things like postage. We would be getting a relative to do the buffet for about £10 per head, so that's £1000, then £300 on drink, £200 for a disco, £300 for venue hire, and as it's a church hall we'd have to hire all the crockery/cutlery/tablecloths, etc. I really can't see how we could do it cheaper as no-one has a house/garden big enough to hold a reception in, unless I refuse to feed people, which is the height of bad manners when they have come a long way to see you get hitched or just don't invite anyone other than immediate family.

cupid_s

Destined_to_be_skint wrote:

We would be getting a relative to do the buffet for about £10 per head, so that's £1000

that's a very expensive buffet

i had a sit down meal and then an evening buffet at a 4* hotel. the buffet was basic but it was only 7.95 a head!

i'll do you a buffet for £5 a head and it'll be great lol!

Miss_Penny_Pincher_2

It is possible but not easy especially if want a stylish wedding! I read The Wedding Diaries where she married in a church hall initially on a £2,500 but it ended up costing her about £7,000 in the end!

The country house hotel where we are having our wedding was highly recommended to us. It does a Mon-Thurs package which includes sole use of the building for the day, Tudor hall for ceremony, glass bucks fizz for each guest after ceremony, 3 course wedding breakfast and coffee for 40 people with 2 glasses sparkling wine for each guest, cream linen tablecloths and napkins, red carpet for arrival, DJ in evening, bar staff, unlimited time with wedding co-ordinator, evening buffet for 100 (think this will be a potato pie supper), Tudor suite for bride and groom on wedding night. All that for £1,650 which looks like it works out cheaper than hiring the church hall and the wedding co-ordinator organises most of things cutting out a lot of stress!

Just wanted to say that I'm also profoundly deaf so can understand some of the difficulties you face at work. I claimed Access to Work but the support they gave me in terms of hearing was rubbish to say the least! I think it was the individual case manager though as my sister had loads of help!

Destined_to_be_skint

£1650 for all that!!!! :eek: I'm obviously getting hitched at the wrong end of the country. To get that kind of service around here would cost about £8-10K minimum. Perhaps I've over budgeted for my buffet then, and I have nothing to worry about!!

Miss_Penny_Pincher_2

Everyone I tell says its a bargain - except my mum and his mum who thought it was extortionate It's got me down people saying don't have it on a Thursday - I think if we had it at same place on a Saturday it would have been nearly twice as much though! We have had quite a few rejections due to it being on a weekday so probably Friday or Saturday would be better! I think some of them wouldn't have come even if it was on a Saturday anyway and just used the Thursday thing as an excuse but some genuinely couldn't get the time off work.

The place is 20 miles from where I live but in lovely countryside. My dad suggested I marry at a place near me - I said yeah, but it costs £10,000 for similar!! I went to a reception there and it's a much bigger hotel and they had 2 other weddings on at same time so less personal and it didn't have much character.

Sorry, I seem to have hijacked this thread with my wedding!

Did you try doing the figures around having children? I was surprised at how doable it could be if saved up in preparation for maternity leave and I went back to work full time. My plan now is to start trying to make a baby in December 2007 (and hopefully give birth by 2009?)! Part of the reason for this is because our remortgage is due in April 2008 - have the impression that it may affect what deals could be eligible for if I'm noticeably pregnant at that time.

shiredeon

getting back to the mortgage thing and from the other side of the fence i can remember thinking when i had my first mortgage wouldn't it be great to pay it off, i sold the house started a business, then converted a barn that i thought would make me happy as i loved the place, bottom line is i've paid off the morgage on three propertys that i own and can honestly say i've hated every minute as i was looking for something i wasn't going to find, i'm now selling evrything to live in france and hope life gets better, so don't worry about the mortgage just make the most of what you've got in a sensible way, good luck.

cloudysheep

(This is my first post on the MSE forums, so please excuse any mistakes!)

Dear Destined to be Skint,

Many of your concerns are very much those I ponder myself, we bought our first house a year ago, and are trying to work out how we can afford the next step, I wish you all the very best, with this determination, you will make it work for you.

On the topic of freelance proofreading...
From my experience (as an editor who uses freelancers all the time) I would not advise signing up for any long-distance editing courses or the like, at least not immediately. They are usually quite pricey, and the ground covered is fairly limited, so to be honest, seeing it on a cv doesn't usually impress me. A good book on the subject would serve you better I suspect (email me if you want any suggestions). There are quite a lot of freelance proofreaders and copy editors out there, but if you're conscientious, and thorough, you probably can make it work for you. Before investing in any courses, it might be worth writing to a few publishers asking if there is available work, as if they need proofreaders, they will probably send you a test to complete, and that might give you an idea of what is available. If you have experience or a qualification in the subject they publish, that would probably be far more important to them than a proofreading qualification. If you want any more info on this, let me know.

cloudysheep

bigliz

I must admit I haven't read thru all the posts but just wanted to make a couple of comments

I know where I live in Wales (therefore not big money) that a local woman does all the bookeeping inc payroll for a few businesses around here (mainly small shops, bakeries etc) and charges £1000pm. I know she only works part time and is grossing prolly 5k each month :eek: so this may well be something to look into.

Also when I was at catering college we used to do wedding v cheaply but as we were all young and out to impress our lecturers we really pulled out all the stops, maybe there is one near you?

Good luck anyway with whatever you decide.

ftbworried

Hi Destined to be skint

I just wanted to say 'I know how you feel'. I come on this board sometmes but it's just SO disheartening to see people with mortgages of £50-60k paying them off. If only our mortgages were that small!!!

People who bought before the housing boom actually have a prospect of paying their mortgage off early. The husband and I have a mortgage that costs us >£1k a month- how on earth are you meant to overpay on something like that! I'd like to reduce my mortgage to 10 years instead of the 25 it is now but that would involve a monthly mortgage payment of £1825 a month!

We only live in an 'average' house and we are on 'average' wages yet just because we happened to get married (and need a house to live in) in 2006 and not 2001 then we are penalised to the tune of £550 a month (our next door neighboors mortgage is only £450 because they bought before the boom).

This situation would only get worse if we were to have kids and not better. I suspect we might be facing a population crisis in the next 20 or so years as anyone who was born in the 80's (I was born in 83), wont be able to afford to have children as they faced such high property prices in 2005-2010 and are saddled with massive mortgages and therefore cant afford to take the time off.