Too embarrased to breastfeed!

meritaten

I breastfed all three of mine. for the first I was sort of embarassed and disappeared to another room. for the second I discovered shawls and just warned people i was about to breastfeed and anyone squeemish should leave the room! for the third, well, I didnt really care but I still used the shawl and you have no idea how many public places my son was fed in!!! and no-one seemed to notice!!!
If you are discreet you can feed in the most unlikely of places - I have breast fed in - Marks and Spencer while browsing the aisles and baby was in a sling! McDonalds while the rest of family ate. on a park bench (that was a blissful memory). in the car while OH did the shop. in my GPs waiting room. in an A&E waiting room. In the library. and at home and if visitors are uncomfortable they can always leave or go make me a cuppa!

maryjane01

It is hard to be discreet in the first few weeks when you are both learning, but beyond the very early stages, the right clothing has been really important for me to be able to feed comfortably and be discreet.

I don't think most people would know that I am feeding my baby in public, I am sure it mostly looks like I have a sleeping baby in my arms. I have been wearing only Boob maternity/feeding tops for 9 months now. There are a couple of sellers on ebay that sell them, they may seem a little pricey, but they wash and wear amazingly well and make feeding so easy. I would treat yourself to a few Boob tops. Also, I think the muslin/pashmina thing makes it a lot more obvious you are feeding.

I had one funny incident, I was half way through touring an English Heritage prroperty when my son was 4 months old, he was screaming so I stopped to feed him. An older man came up and started a long conversation with me while I was feeding abou the baby, his name, how old etc, I am sure he thought my son was sleeping, then my son popped rightoff and looked around:eek: I have never seen somebody get away so quickly. I felt sorry for the man as he was obviously so embarrassed.

I am a pretty confident breastfeeder now, but still have my self concious moments, and I have never really liked feeding in front of my FIL even though I know I can feed discreetly. When I feel a bit nervous I try and remind myself that if people have a problem with me feeding my son, it genuinely is their problem.

Good luck and enjoy this special time. xxx

claire80

with my 1st i found it hard and embarrasing and i gave up way too easily , I was that determined with my 2nd that i got over the embarrasment , I just said , Im just going to feed the baby now , and most of the men automatically scarpered to get a cuppa or something , after a few weeks once i had got settled with breast feeding i had no problems feeding in restaurants , park benches etc . I had a sling to carry the baby around in which also worked as a discreet cover. I really did find it so much easier 2nd time round , though my eldest son did start breast feeding the dolls under his t shirt at nursery and saying ouch ......kids !!

beccam

Like everyone has said, just relax about it, give yourself and baby a few days to get a bit of practice at latching on and off and then if anyone is round visiting give them a warning "baby needs fed" and if they choose to leave so be it, if they don't then it is your house, your baby and they obviously aren't bothered so neither should you be!

After I had DD I was in hospital for about 4-5days so had a bit of time to get practiced, main problem was I had LOADS of milk and it used to squirt out so fast she'd choke on it, then if she pulled off too quick it kept going and would fly everywhere!!

When we came home and there was so many people visiting I decided to be brave, I had also had a section and couldn't be arsed getting up and down 20 times in a few hours, so if any of the blokes felt awkward they'd disappear off for awhile. One poor friend called at the terrible 8pm when DD was on/off like a yo-yo, he had been in and out the whole time until I said "Stuart, I'm past caring" and his wife added "you don't even see anything just sit down!", he sat down and after the next feed was done he admitted he had barely noticed what was going on.

I used to wear either a loose vest top or a "belly band" thing (or cheap boob tube style top from Primark) underneath another top so that one would pull down and cover my belly while the other would lift up and then there was virtually nothing to be seen (and thats with 38GG boobs!) I'd also have a muslin close at hand and if I was feeling really self conscious then a light weight sheet/blanket that could be thrown over DD to make it look like she was just cuddling/sleeping.

After a few weeks I started expressing incase I was out and about, not just to save any blushes but also because I found it hard to get comfortable if I was in town somewhere and stuck on a tiny cafe chair.

I firmly believe the more confident you feel in yourself about it the less "obvious" you are about doing it. A friend used to have herself and baby literally underneath a sheet if he needed fed while we were out and it only ended up drawing attention to her and what was going on.....well would you not stare at someone looking like they were preparing for a bad Halloween party in the middle of the local soft play!!?:rotfl:

Good luck with it and hope things work out for you.x

zoenryansmummy

i had the same problem with my first and it wasnt helped by the fact that my dad asked me to go upstairs whenever my daughter needed feeding and we were at their house. with my 2nd he had no such look lol, i gave up feeding my daughter at 6 weeks cos of the hassle i thought bf was causing and i bitterly regretted it. with my son i fed him til he was a year old, i went into it with the attitude that my son needs feeding and i'll feed him when he needs feeding and if others dont like it-tough!!!! i was actually hoping someone would say something to me while we were out so i could tell them to bog off and mind their own business lol, but no one ever did! And as for my dad, he was a lot more relaxed this time round, to the point where i sat next to him in our local pub watching the football while feeding my son and no-one batted an eyelid!!! must recommend primark stretchy vest tops, think they're bout £3 and brill for just whipping down when you need to feed, and much cheaper than bf tops!!!

xxvickixx

Lovely picture Gingham Ribbon.

MadDogWoman_2

Hi Lala,

If your hospital offers it take advantage of the short post-natal stay. The maternity unit I had my dd in recommended that bf mums stay in until their milk comes in so there is constant support.

I was concur with the the other advice it's your house if the visitors aren't comfortable they should be the ones to leave.

Re feeding in public my first few public feeds were at my local Baby Cafe, bf support group so it was relaxed. They love it when pregnant mummies visit.

Once I had done that I was happy to feed anywhere (baggy t-shirts for me).

But remember the advice happy mummy = happy baby so have a go and if it isn't for you that's ok.

Mankysteve

My two cents. Women shouldn't be made to feel embarrassed about breast feeding in public its natural(as they all say).

Tihama

Hello, can I join in

Just to suggest, if you do plan on going upstairs to feed to begin with, prepare yourself a comfy nest up there with TV, if possible, books etc and take a drink up with you in case you are there for a while, perhaps have some bottles of water stashed up there just in case.

I remember once taking my baby upstairs as I just couldn't breastfeed in front of my Dad! (My parents came to stay for a while to help out and look after my toddler which was fantastic apart from the feeding issue!) Everyone else was downstairs watching TV and chatting and I felt so isolated and unhappy stuck in the bedroon with nothing to do besides wait for the baby to finish (they all thought I was having a lovely time and enjoying the peace and quiet!)

After that we rearranged the furniture a little so Dad could be watching TV and me feeding and he wouldn't see anything uless he actually turned around in his chair, which he would never do as he was just as uncomfortable as me! Once baby was latched on it was fine but as others have said, when they are tiny and crying and flinging their head around, you can feel horribly exposed for a while, even when poeple are doing their best to look out of the window and admire the garden or whatever!

If you can get through the first few weeks, it really does become so much easier and there is no messing around sterilising bottles at midnight! I really struggled with my first and ended up fully bottlefeeding by seven weeks but I got better at it each time and number three was fully breastfed until 8 months (at that point I switched her to bottles as I was desperate for some sleep but I look back and wish I had carried on a bit longer) I have no problem with mums who choose to bottlefeed but I think it is such a shame when someone who wanted to breastfeed stops sooner than they wanted to for whatever reason.

Also, don't know if this is the case with you, but sometimes relatives can actually be hoping you will switch to bottles so they can have a go at feeding the baby and then you find yourself stuck in the kitchen making them cups of tea while they keep hold of your baby for hours on end. Breastfeeding is a great way of ensuring that you are the one on the sofa with everyone else waiting on you!

Good luck :T

Lalaladybird

Tihama wrote: »

Breastfeeding is a great way of ensuring that you are the one on the sofa with everyone else waiting on you!

Good luck :T

That is definitely one of the great unspoken reasons to breastfeed! :T

Thank you to everyone who has offered support and I've loved reading your breastfeeding stories. I'm really going to try and get on with it this time

Lala xx